All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Am I a WITCH?!?!?!?!
So, my pastor asks me today why I haven't been baptized and I told him that I'm still searching God and still navigating my way through Christianity. For those who know me through the few years I have posted on this site, I have a LOT of questions and I'm somewhat skeptical, which I don't find anything wrong with.
I was saved when I was younger, but it didn't mean anything because I was a kid and I didn't know what the heck anything meant. As an adult, I have asked God to save me and I repented. One of the struggles I have is not "feeling" anything. I wanted to feel God so I asked him to save me (just in case it didn't count when I was younger).
So, I told my pastor that I haven't been baptized because I want to feel more certain or it's not going to mean anything. You want to love someone before you stand at the alter and marry them, right? So then, he proceeds to ask me, "how long have you been involved in witchcraft?" Really??? Then he says that most satanists and wiccans will deny it when asked. Um, yeah, because I'm not a wiccan or satanist. What. the. heck?!?
THIS is what turns me away from God. People who turn everything into a religious issue and say insane stuff like that. He wants to talk to me after church on Sunday. I'm dreading this. Why can't I question something? Why am I a satanist because I don't feel God?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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Kayla,
I usually am not found to have a lack of words, but in this case I will be very brief and respond to any question you have regarding this in follow-up. 1) IMO get out of that church ... today. 2) It is good to question and search, and it is especially good to not make a meaningless commitment. I applaud you that you are searching and wanting to be sure and not just say a prayer or be baptized just because. May God give you a true awareness of His presence and trust in His Word.
Praying for you,
LT
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Permalink Reply by Kayla on
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He said that there are demons that come from actively doing witchcraft or "unknowingly" doing it. He said that the demons block your ability to understand the gospel and feel God. Maybe it has nothing to do with "demons" and it has more to do with the fact that I'm just the type of person who questions everything (check out my previous posts!). I'm not going to jump on the wagon and believe because everyone else does. I need to see proof or "feel" something and I'm in the process of doing that ( I've been in that process for quite some time, but I'm not giving up) by attending church, being active on this site, and doing Bible study on Tuesday nights with my a friend. I guess he was shocked that I told him I was saved twice (once when I was a child and didn't know what was really going on and then when I was an adult and understood more and wanted to feel and experience what all of these Christians say that they feel when they are saved) and still don't feel anything. But I am still skeptic and while a lot moves me towards believing in God, some things pause me. Regardless, I don't sit in a dark room at night and light candles and chant. Nor do I ride on a broomstick, although, I am tempted to dress up as a witch this Sunday- but I won't. But he also said that because I'm "rebelling" by not getting baptized (once again, what's the point when I'm still not sure of everything) and because I have a hard time trusting God (who doesn't at some times), that he thinks there are demons interfering.
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I'm terrified of Satan and demons. I don't want to open any doors for diabolical entities and what not. I've watched The Conjuring and I've seen documentaries. I've read the literature. I know that it exists and I wholeheartedly believe in it. No thanks. I wouldn't play around with that.
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There are groups (churches) that believe there is a demon behind everything that is not of God and seek to exorcise those supposed demons ever chance they get. I don't know your pastor or your church, but to accuse someone of being a witch because they refuse to be baptized????
Stay the course (seeking Him) and God will guide you home.
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Permalink Reply by Amanda on
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Kayla,
Even if the pastor was thinking of 1 Samuel 15:23, I'm not sure how he was connecting the dots from waiting to be baptized to being rebellious and then to witchcraft. I see it as a red flag and agree with LT's advice -- leave. Jesus never pressured anyone and still doesn't. IMO
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I told him that I was always under the impression that getting baptized was more symbolic than a requirement and he said that I was getting lost in my own reasoning. This is what he said, "You're getting lost in your own reasoning. It's not complicated. Obey God or don't obey God. If you won't obey him & be baptized, I'd ask myself: Do I really have saving faith in Jesus, ? if I refuse to be baptized?"
It's not that I'm refusing. I'm just not ready because I'm still uncertain. I'm not going to dunk myself under water or whatever when I'm still questioning everything. It's going to be pointless because one day when I do come to terms with everything, I'd probably want to be baptized again because then I would have the understanding that I need and I'd understand the importance and significance behind the act of being baptized.
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I would advise not remaining under this pastor's leadership and teaching for two reasons, upon which I will elaborate, the first being his impatience, that I've already mentioned--his pressuring you.
Saint Paul considered himself the worst of sinners but said God had mercy on him so that Jesus could use him as an example of the great patience Christ has with even the worst sinners. The reason God showed mercy to Paul was so that others would realize that, if Paul could, they too, can believe in Jesus and receive eternal life.
I believe Paul is saying that Christ treats everyone with the same kind of long-suffering and patience that He showed Saul who became Saint Paul. That means you, too.
The other reason is the pastor's insensitivity toward those who are struggling with faith.
I don't believe you're a witch but even if you were the worst of sinners, God is merciful. Jesus is patiently waiting for you and also He is working in you. All of us who are saved have been shown God's mercy, even this pastor, and it's important for us to have humility and acknowledge that any good in our lives has been worked by God's mercy, and I guess I can't judge your pastor because we are growing and learning and, unfortunately, our level of sensitivity is simply where we are right now, and that's just where he is right now. But you need to be under spiritually healthy leadership that shows empathy and compassion for where you are right now. IMO
People can have a lot of insensitivity toward other people, and, although I'm a very sensitive person, I know I'm guilty, too, of insensitivity, and I have been very judgmental and overly critical of others many times. But I'm being changed. And there's hope that this pastor will change, too. But, for now, you don't need to be around that kind of attitude.
With me, the pain I feel when someone judges me or just calls me a name, such as narcissist or legalist, is more about the negative beliefs I have about myself at my core and those beliefs get evoked by that person because deep down I'm afraid that maybe he or she is right, even when they aren't right (even if I have a few narcissistic traits, like selfishness, I don't have the full blown narcissistic personality disorder and the truth is everyone has some traits that are narcissistic -- judge not lest ye be judged) but I'm so insecure that it still raises doubts and fears in me.
I allow the opinions of others to determine what I think of myself, and that's dangerous because it is placing my self worth in the hands of others when I need to remember that my worth as an individual is in God alone. I'm not to see myself the way others see me but the way God sees me, and the truth is, apart from Him, I am nothing and no one, "for in him we live and move and have our being"
Acts 17:28 (ESV).
I want you to learn to see yourself as God sees you, too.
Here are Paul's words:
I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. (1 Timothy 1:12-17 ESV)
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Permalink Reply by ryan alexander christopher on
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Your pastor seems to be a very dfferent one, but what i would tell is, you have all the reason there for staying away from your baptism it seems
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Permalink Reply by Tammy on
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Girlfriend, I'm not judging but based on what you've said here, you need to get up out of dodge. Don't turn away from God because of ignorance. You should always test the spirits. Even Christ asked a question on the cross. I wouldn't even drive by that place again. That's just a quick answer without me praying but it sounds pretty sound to me.
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Permalink Reply by Richard L. Broch, Sr. on
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Hi Kayla,
Include me as a loud baritone in this chorus of voices, as the angel told Lot and his wife, "......escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley......."*
You've received a lot of excellent counsel here so far.........because you're among friends in Christ who love you as a sister.
*From Genesis 19:17, N.A.S.B.
Grace and Peace.
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