All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Homewreckers-Help Please
Hi everyone,
I'm in a fairly new relationship and have been with him for 4 months now. I am extremely insecure and have a hard time trusting men. On top of that, I have been cheated on before and although my distrust for men wasn't in direct result of that incident, it did contribute to the fear. The man who I am with is a very attractive man and women do check him out, which I'm fine with. It's human nature. Recently, however, a girl from his past (he said they tried to have something, but nothing sexual happened between them) ran into us twice when we were out. The first time, she stared (undressed him with her eyes) several times and came up to him and asked him for a hug (without acknowledging me) which totally set me off. The second time we ran into her, she couldn't keep her eyes off of him and made an attempt to talk to him. As a Christian, how do you handle women (or men ) trying to sleep with or "get with" your significant other? I don't know if they have had any contact since all of this has occurred or even before we ran into her. She's on his Facebook and he lives 40 min away from me so I have no way of knowing if they've talked privately on Facebook or via text, etc. I can't handle heartbreak and I can't handle being cheated on or left for someone else. What should I do? The anxiety and fear is EATING ME ALIVE.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kayla on
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I did tell him how I feel and he was very reassuring in telling me that he's very happy with me and that he would never ruin what we have for a one night stand. Words are cheap though :/
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And I have prayed to God about this. I pray everyday about it along with whatever else is on my mind. I ask God "please don't let this man hurt me; please don't let him be unfaithful. Please protect our relationship from outsiders trying to be insiders. Please help me chill out. If he is doing something he shouldn't do, please let it be known to me without having to "investigate" and snoop." I'm naturally a VERY paranoid person so I can almost never tell when I'm being crazy or if I have legitimate concerns. I think it's coincidence that we ran into her. I just don't like how she's "approaching" him. I don't trust women either. I feel like if she plays her cards right, she'll snatch him. Men are visual too. She's pretty. Prettier than I.
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Yeah, I guess that I just feel that men will leave a woman for someone more attractive if they have an opportunity.
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Permalink Reply by Moses Holguin on
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Your wrong! Thats not true! read the comment below.
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Permalink Reply by Seek on
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How did he react on these two occasions would be a big determining factor for me. Part of me would want to say to not be suspicious of every little thing, but the other part says to be wise too. Don't get too close unless you're sure he respects you enough. Respect to me would mean he would have backed off this hug and made sure you acknowledge you, or he would've at least appeared a bit embarrassed or taken back a bit by her approach. If not, I would keep some brakes on awhile and see his behavior before allowing myself to get too attached. Keep it casual.
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Yeah, she kinda came up and tapped him on the back and asked for a hug. He didn't have much time to react. I did tell him that it upset me that he didn't introduce me. Maybe he just didn't think about it...The second time we ran into her, she made the attempt to talk to him and she kept staring at him. I could tell that he was trying not to look at her because he knew I was watching him and watching her and he didn't want to make the situation any worse. I think he felt awkward.
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I truly believe that dating must be with a purpose. That purpose being Marriage. When two people do not begin their dating relationship with this purpose and this purpose only then it will end up exactly the way you have just described it with insecurity and uncertainty. It will also run its course and then eventually die because there was no commitment in it.
The true and only purpose that GOD will honor a dating relationship is if that purpose is for marriage. Thats it. If people are dating just to kiss and hold hands and are not in it because they are seriously looking for a life long partner but just want company to the movies then GOD is not in it. If two people start dating and they begin this courtship with the understanding that their goal is to find out if marriage is possible then GOD will bless them both and they can both begin to know each other (Non-Sexually) to make that determination. Also 1.5 years is about the maximum length of time needed to know if this person is someone I want to marry or not. If an adult cannot determine if they want to marry the person they are dating within a year of dating that person then they were not interested in marriage but other things. If the dating relationship extends further than this then either one or both are not in it for marriage. The relationship will have ran its course and everything after that begins to become as described above. Those that date must be of mature and responsible age. No male should be dating if he does not have a job and not interested in or capable of marriage. No woman should be dating if she is not interested in or capable of marriage.
And a dating relationship is not true commitment so don't deceive yourselves into the lie that you two can show each other commitment and true love without Marriage. TRUE commitment and love is expressed in marriage and marriage only. You will know the true intentions of both your hearts once you ask yourselves, " Do I want to marry this person?" "Is this person someone I think I would like to spend the rest of my life with?" If the answer is no from either one of you then leave the relationship. If both of you say yes then now is the time to know each other (Non_sexually). If to late then repent and start over.
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