forgive me lord

Dear Heavenly father,

today did not go as i had planned. Lord i perfectly fine with emma's father getting parenting time with emma as long as he can pass a drug test. However he texted me today and was angry because i made him take a drug test and he failed it. my attorney will not get the results till monday so i still have to let emma go with her grandmother so she can supravize nate.which is fine its only one day. but where my heart stops and i begin to panic is the fact that emma will still be able to go over to her grandmothers house even if nate dose not pass a drug test and emmas dad nate lives with his mother. lord you know my heart. you know the reasons why i do not feel it is best for emma if she gose over to mechelles(nates mother) expecially considering he is still on drugs. Lord am i doing something wrong? what did i do to derve this? if mechelle has parenting time alone with emma then in a month from now when custody is established and nate is proven to not be a "fit parent" then my fear is mechelle seeking visiations. lord this is mine and nate's child. i should not have to fight him and his mother on my own. I tske that back. Emma is YOURS not mine or his. and you promised to protect her. you also promised justice. i do not seek revenge but for you to take control. Lord forgive me i paniced today. i worried, i lost faith and i feel like every ounce of strenth in me is gone. On top of that there is the other obsticals i have had to face today and are to come. Lord please have mercy on me. see my heart and soul and see that i cant take anymore! Lord if this is satans work then he is is realy coming at me hard. i just want to be able to enjoy my child that you blessed me with in our new home that you graciosly provided me with. heaventy father i do not know what to do. i am here and my life is yours so please tell me what to do. all i know to pray for is that i do not have to send emma over to her grandmothers with emmas father not passsing te drug test when i speak to my attorney monday. i have worked and fought so so hard for this child i do not desreve this lord. i love you. and i still praise your name and ask this and for me to win soul custody of emma in the name of Jesus Christ because you promised lord if i ask anything in sons name you will do. and lord jesus you said if i ask anything in your name that you will do. please help me be strong and keep emma safe when she goses to her grandmothers to meet see  her father. this is the first time she will have ever been away from me except when im at school or places she cant go like court so its gonna be very hard for me to watch them leave with my baby after everything i have had to go through so please help me andn give me peace. thank u i love you in jesus name

amen