Problem repenting

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amanda on May 21, 2015 at 11:04am

Sincere repentance is a heart matter, but, the mind is involved, too. Yet, believing must go beyond just knowing the historical facts of something, such as of Christ's death and resurrection, and, to me, repentance would be the same way. Where it says that even demons believe and tremble, to me, it means that they know the facts but that's as far as their belief goes. The heart isn't involved for them.

It sounds like you suppress your emotions as a defense mechanism. It's a coping mechanism. Jesus is not only our Savior, but He is our Healer, too. Some people have been so terribly hurt in life that depression rears its ugly head, but it doesn't mean that God isn't walking with them through it.

I know God cares about you. I know He has something that will help you truly heal instead of just cope. Many of my core beliefs are shame-based. That's slowly changing. Lies I've believed are being replaced with truth.

I pray you receive mercy and grace from Him to help in your need.

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 23, 2015 at 8:10pm

Hi Zachary,

I've been reading your words over the past couple of days, and something wasn't sitting right with me... I just realized what it was.  Your words " I was depressed once and it took a lot to dig myself out of it so now it feels almost impossible to let myself feel guilt and shame even when I try to open up."

I'm not sure where you get the idea that God wants us to feel guilt and shame?  Guilt and shame are not from God.  Repentance does not equal guilt and shame.  True repentance is a change of mind that results in a change of action.  It means that you agree with God and what He says about sin...and you agree to the point that the sin becomes unattractive to you so that you want to stop it.  Repentance means that the sin you once loved...you now hate it.  But it's not that you feel guilt and shame from it.  Romans 2:4 tells us that it is God's kindness that leads us to repentance.  There is nothing biblically based to even slightly suggest that guilt and shame leads us to repentance.  That is a very extremely dangerous belief because it misrepresents God and His Character.

In regards to your feelings of Jealousy towards God....those are the same feelings that satan has.  Satan desired to take the throne of God for himself.  It was his pride that caused him to fall.

You also said:  "I definitely don't need everything to be centered around me but I would like to feel a little more important than I feel right now."

Everyone wants to feel important.  Your importance comes from knowing that God, The creator of the Universe knows you and has called you by name.  He counts the number of hairs you have on your head, and he keeps each tear you cry in a bottle.  He has destined a life for you that is greater than you could ever imagine, and He knows you far more than you even know yourself.  HE understands why you feel feelings of jealousy, and 'not good enough', and HE alone has the power and the means to heal you.  Completely. 

Romans 8 (NLT)

1So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2And because you belong to him, the power^a of the life-giving Spirit has freed you^b from the power of sin that leads to death.

This is good news.  There is no condemnation for those who are In Christ.  Now it's time for you to learn your identity In Christ so that you can know beyond a shadow of a doubt, who you are, and who you belong to.  Are you ready to start learning about your new identity?  Fill your heart and mind with the truth, not the lies of the enemy, and you will slowly begin to know who God created you to be, and what your purpose is.

Blessings, Carla

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on May 24, 2015 at 10:07am

What bothers me is how easily people will write others off as being selfish, self-centered, self-pitying, and so forth (not saying you are doing that) when others somehow find the boldness to admit they suffer from depression (especially depression with suicidal ideation). I've had mean thoughts before whenever I've felt the sting of such judgment from someone, such as, Are you not yourself a human being? What if God removes the hedge of protection from around you and let's Satan tempt you with deep depression that causes thoughts of suicide?

I'm wrong for thinking such things. It gets worse. Many have said to me, "Just go in God's strength," and  I think, "Wow, what do you think I'm doing, anyway? I have no strength of my own!"

I have a physical illness. I don't talk about it very much. It's difficult when you live with an illness that goes into remission and then flares up again, and you never know when it's going to happen or what will set it off. I think, when the disease flares up (autoimmune thyrotoxicosis) that losing my hair is the worst symptom, and I've had this disease since I was a child. A lot of years. I don't lose all my hair. It just thins out really badly and looks stringy and in a few places my scalp shows through. I have to cut it then and can't wear it long ... but wait! Doesn't God say that long hair is a woman's glory? Then why does God let such a thing happen? Maybe those kinds of thoughts are just feeling sorry for myself. I don't know. 

But, since childhood, I've been like Jacob, holding onto God in desperation, not just because of the disease, but because of everything else, too -- abuse, poverty, neglect, etc. -- and saying to God, "I will not let thee go except thou bless me!"

What's wrong with that? What's wrong with wanting to be blessed with health? Mental, emotional, and physical health?

But I get tired. I see the complete futility of it all, happening over and over again, hopelessness. It's not life threatening but makes me feel very ill. Plus, hair loss is horrible to have to experience. It's like the devil sets me up time and again for torment by letting me have a few years of health, only to destroy it, again. 

I'm told we aren't supposed to care what we look like or how we feel or what happens to us. 

That doesn't make sense to me. I don't think we should not care, but we do need proper perspective. You are so right. When we came to Jesus, we received a new identity. Yet, we need strength and motivation to live that new identity, IMO.

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 24, 2015 at 12:29pm

I have seen far too many people turn away from God because of wrongly placed shame and wrongly placed guilt.  I was one of them in my teen years.  I didn't know who God was.  I didn't understand anything about His forgiveness, grace, mercy or compassion towards us. 

I've learned though that to get to know who God is, we must look at Jesus. 

Colossians 2 9For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form.

http://www.gotquestions.org/shame-regret.html

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on May 24, 2015 at 11:04am

Psa 32:1-11 NIV84 Of David. A maskil. Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. (2) Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. (3) When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. (4) For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah (5) Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"— and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah (6) Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. (7) You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah (8) I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. (9) Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. (10) Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. (11) Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 24, 2015 at 12:20pm

There is an important distinction which I did not mention...

There is true guilt because we have truly sinned, and that can prompt us to repentance.  It is God's kindness that draws us.

False guilt is what the enemy puts on us, when we are actually forgiven and already repentant of a past sin, but somehow we have landed in a place of looking at that sin and it turns to shame.  This is the danger.  This is the type of thing that causes people to potentially eventually turn away from the faith.  Eph 6;10-18 tells us we are in a Spiritual Battle, and we need to put on the armor.

When we are forgiven, we are forgiven. 

Psalm 103

11For his unfailing love toward those who fear him

is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.

12He has removed our sins as far from us

as the east is from the west.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on May 24, 2015 at 1:16pm

Someone else mentioned Psalm 103 today, while reminding me of His benefits, and I decided to read psalm 103 with my morning devotions. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. ( Psalm  103 : 1-5  ESV)

I'm truly doubting. It's like a twisted sort of game where I experience a time of blessings only to have them all snatched back away and end up in worse shape than before. I can't keep doing it. But, I know I'm forgetting all His benefits, too. Life is so difficult.

Thanks for the reminder. <3

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 24, 2015 at 1:54pm

Life can be difficult.  This life isn't our best life now, but it is filled with God's unfailing love and blessings.  Sometimes the greatest blessings are in the smallest details----the things we can easily miss.  Our future is bright.

The Future Glory

¹⁸ Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. ¹⁹ For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. ²⁰ Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, ²¹ the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. ²² For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,^[j] including the new bodies he has promised us. ²⁴ We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope^[k] for it. ²⁵ But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

²⁶ And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. ²⁷ And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers^[l] in harmony with God’s own will. ²⁸ And we know that God causes everything to work together^[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ²⁹ For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn^[n] among many brothers and sisters. ³⁰ And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love

³¹ What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? ³² Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? ³³ Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. ³⁴ Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

³⁵ Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ³⁶ (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”^[o]) ³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[p] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on May 25, 2015 at 10:24am

Throughout my life, in many situations, I've often prayed silently, Lord, I need You. Help me, Lord. I remember praying it as a little girl.

That hymn comes to mind, Lord I Need Thee:


1
I need Thee every hour,
Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford.
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior!
I come to Thee.
2
I need Thee every hour,
Stay Thou near by;
Temptations lose their power
When Thou art nigh.
3
I need Thee every hour,
In joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide,
Or life is vain.
4
I need Thee every hour,
Teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises
In me fulfill.
5
I need Thee every hour,
Most Holy One;
Oh, make me Thine indeed,
Thou blessed Son.

One of the devotionals I read is Charles Spurgeon's morning and evening devotional, and he said this morning, "There is no moment of our life, however holy, in which we can do without his constant upholding. Whether in light or in darkness, in communion or in temptation, we alike need the prayer, Forsake me not, O Lord. Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe."

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 25, 2015 at 10:30am

Yes.  That's my constant prayer too. 

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Permalink Reply by Jeffrey on May 25, 2015 at 10:24pm

Carla, I pray daily, and ask for Jesus' forgiveness if I sin. I read the Bible several days a week. I truly believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and was resurrected.  How can you be sure you will partake in the rapture? How can I be sure Jesus has forgiven me? I want so bad to follow his ways. To be the Christian he wants me to be. Life can make that difficult on a daily basis. Thank you, if you reply! Jeffrey

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Permalink Reply by Carla on May 26, 2015 at 1:43pm

Hi Jeffrey,

Jesus has a lot to say about worry.  It's actually a command to not worry more than it's a suggestion.  It's a suggestion perhaps in that it's unhealthy for us to worry, because it's added stress to things we don't have control over anyway. 

Phil 4

⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Some people are just natural worriers...Jesus died and resurrected to help us overcome that too.

You asked me "How can you be sure you will partake in the rapture?"

Honestly, I studied the end times a few years ago, and it was incredibly interesting study.  I had one 'take-away' from all of the information I learned and it is this....

God is in control.  I trust Him.  I know I will experience trials, I have already experienced many.  God is with me in the trials, and He carries me thru them...there isn't one part of me that doubts that.  God will do what HE says He will do.  If He says in His word that He has forgiven you, than HE has. 

Do you trust Him?  Do you believe what He says?  Can you take Him at His word? Do you believe He can and will do the things He promised?

Since you belong to the Lord you will become the Christian God wants you to be....It's up to you if you make the process easier or harder depending on your obedience.  It takes time though.  It's good that it takes time, it's supposed to.  The process is equally as important as the end result....it's in the process that we learn so that it sticks, and in that process as we learn things we can help others.  God teaches us things so that we can pass it on....the learning doesn't stop with us, but it is meant to be shared.  I find that's when the learning really sinks in, when I share the things I've learned.

One great way to grow is to seek to answer some of the questions here in the forum.  If you don't know the answer, research it.  Pretty soon you will see your life's circumstances lining up with the things you are researching, and they will set in as 'real' for you, and they will become part of who are.

Life can be difficult, but God is greater than our difficulties.   If you look at your difficulties more than you look at Jesus your difficulties will be overwhelming.  If you look at Jesus more than your difficulties, Jesus will be overwhelming.

Matthew 11

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Hope some of this helps...

Blessings, Carla

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