I'd be drowning by now if it wasn't for God picking me up and carrying me.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Leo on July 13, 2010 at 12:46pm

WOW. Our stories are indeed so much alike. I wil lift your marriage up to the Lord in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by MARTIN PELFREY on April 5, 2011 at 7:26pm

i can feel your pain. this year was my twentieth anniversary and we were separated on that day. I was not the man i needed to be for my wife and kids. she felt hurt by the little things i didn't see until we were separated. I cant speak for all men, but while we were togethe and i tryr i didn't see the problems and she never came to me about them . she says i should have known. (( maybe))? i dont know. I know we are still separated and i try every day to get her back. every thing i read says that be faithful and God will soften there hearts and when they come back to God they will come back to us. Be faithful to God and pray,pray,pray. thats' what i do. i will pray for you also.(( a prayer given to me )) 

 

Lord, I lift up my beloved wife and all the prodigals and loved ones who are away fron you this day. May your men of God speak the word and your truth today, so that every sinner, all prodifals and loved ones around the world, will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the enemy. May you open all our loved ones spiratual eyes and ears to hear and see the truth. May you send Godly men and women to speak your truths to my beloved spouse daily. I pray in agreement with other standers around the world that your truth will set prodigals free this day. I pray that _________ and all the spouses who are away from you will become broken,humbled,confessing their sins,repenting and turning their lives 180 degrees from their wicked ways by accepting jesus as savior and Lord back into their lives. I pray that they will be obedient to your voice, to your will, to your way, and to your instructions for their life and marriage. Lord, set your prisoners free from the bondages of sin today in the mighty name of Jesus.Your blood has paid the price for my wife, all prodigal spouses and loved ones to be set free from their sins. thank you, Lord for your amazing love. How majestic is you name! Your name is above all names. I love you,Lord. I praise your holy name. In jesus name i pray, AMEN.

 

It sounds weird, but by our spouses not wanting to work out our marriage ((ight now)) they are sinning agAINST GOD. so i beg for forgiveness for me hardening my wives heart and for her to come back to the Lord.

 

I will include you in my prayers as also need to be in yours.

 

thanks martin

Permalink Reply by Ruel Z Chavez on May 7, 2011 at 8:29am

"My wife said that she is 'done' with our marriage. That she has felt this way for a long time. She also said that her heart was harddened to me and that nothing i could say or do would change that. i tried to get her to talk to our pastor with me to save our marriage. She went once with me but has not went back with me since." -- I heard the same thing from my wife last February 2009. The only difference is that your wife at least agreed to talk to your pastor. Since 2007, I have been insisting to my wife that there was a need for both of us to visit a Christian counselor. She kept on refusing. Now I know why.

If there is anything I could tell you, I think I will just share briefly my experience and be the one to assess how will it apply to your own situation.

Since June 2009, we were finally separated though not in paper due to financial consideration. When she told me partly the reason for her coldness since 2005, my wife insisted on separation. I could not believe what I was hearing. I did not know that whether I was awake or I was just dreaming. But later, reality dawned on me that my wife has no more love for me. I suffered pain for 6 months. I cried during evening and slept in the morning. There is still pain but I am stronger now, emotionally. mentally, and spiritually.

There is one lesson I learned, which I am grateful for this trial. Without this trial, there is no way for me to learn this lesson. I have been in pastoral ministry and theological education for more than 20 years. But I never noticed, that there are so many things in my life that replaced Jesus - ministry, education, my wife, and the future of my kids. All of them were lost when my marriage was broken. I kept on asking the Lord why? I have been faithful to Him all these years. That's what I thought. The one precious lesson that I learned is the sufficiency of Jesus in my life. Before, I can preach about this. In terms of knowledge and words, I know that Jesus is sufficient in my life. But in terms of who I am and what I do, in being and doing, in terms of my identity and experience, Jesus to me is still not sufficient. Now, I can say in truth that to be with Jesus is far better than anything else, than anyone else in this world. To be with Jesus is far better than the realization of my dreams. To be with Jesus is far better than to be with my wife and my children. This does not mean that I would be an irresponsible husband and father. This does mean that my heart belongs to Jesus alone and all other relationships are secondary. I am now a better father. If God allows restoration in my marriage, in his grace I believe, I would be a better husband now. The issue is not between my wife and God but between God and myself. God has his own way of dealing with my wife. His concern is to win me back and he is using this trial for me to learn that my greatest treasure is Him.