Can we just allow God to work and let's stop all efforts of finding and keeping a life partner?

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Permalink Reply by Chilombo on February 11, 2011 at 3:47am

Yes and No at the same time. Why? Because you have a part to play too. We must be busy doing what God wants us to be doing at HIS feet and then the life partner will come from Him just like that. Remember, Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness, and ALL these things shall be added unto you". Notice that in the verse, it says "seek ye first" which means our part is to seek Him then He will add the husband to us who is part of the "ALL" in this verse. Another verse is Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart". Notice that both these verses have a condition for giving us what we desire, we must make HIM (GOD) our first priority in all things. If we go around trying to find ourselves life partners, desperation comes into play and this is where the devil has a stronghold. 1 Peter 5:8,9 says, "Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prawls around like a roaring lion looking for him who he may devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith because you know that your brothers throughout the worldare undergoing the same kind of trials". So, in my opinion, if we go around trying to find for ourselves our life partners, we will end up crashing cuz the devil will take advantage of that and bring all sorts of people our way. Our job is to work on our relationship with God and leave the rest to HIM. He knows us best and therefore knows who is suitable for who. So, single time is perfecting time for you! Whilst you are single, develop the qualities you want in a lifepartner in yourself and you will realise that you will begin to attract the same kind of people. "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris is a good book with a lot of insight on these topics. Stay blessed friends!

Permalink Reply by Sharon on March 24, 2011 at 1:50pm

Hi everyone.

I have and am still going through an experience that I am still shaking over and wondering what have I done wrong to deserve this.

Nineteen years ago I grew to love a fellow christian. anyway my Pastor at the time told him not to marry me because I was a whore (not true, I only loved men as friends).  He married the girl they "actually" chose for him - it did not work out.

 

Last year we met at a funeral and for me it was as if my love for this guy had not changed. We got together and he decided that we would get married on Feb 14 this year. Of course he did not turn up. My family encouraged me to forgive and in my heart I loved him and forgave from my heart with all the loe I had for him.

Sometime in February maybe late January I could not find my debit card. I kept asking him if he had seen the card bearing in mind that this account is where my salary is always lodged. Well he used the card (who else could it be?) to withdraw all my salary leaving me without bus fare to go home, no money to pay the bills. Worst of all he knew of the problems I have been facing currently and left me  broke! Well it has been handed over to the Bank who will pass it on for investigations to the fraud squad.  This is the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. 

 

Now what do I do? do i send him to prison or do i allow him to get away? There was nothing that I would not have done to make him and his chikd happy. I did all I could but all he saw was a way of defrauding me of my little money. What if he had access to the savings? What would have become of me and my child? Is this love?  Am I too soft and good natured? Of course here is more which I cant say right now but this was the last straw.  To date he has not said to me that he took it although I have given him more than one opportunity to do so.

 

In my heart my concern is for his child should he go to prison and I am still waiting and hoping that he will admit it and hopefuly that the investigation will prove for his sake that the money was taken by someone else. I am not desperate to get married and somehow has lost interest in doing so. All I want to do is right now is to focus on God ad my child and launch the Ministry He has placed in my heart.  I am so ashamed to let my church family know what has happenned and has decided that since I have returned to my mother's house that I will change church and start anew.  i am so hurt..... It is a good thing I had relocated before he took my money because there would hae been nothing left from rent, fare, food or the bills. Pray for me because I want this relationship which is onesided to end.  I keep giving and he keeps taking. What kind of Pastor  would do this? Am I paying for the mistakes of others who have hurt him in the past when I am innocent in all this? Am I weak or too trusting by nature?

Permalink Reply by MYu on March 25, 2011 at 7:50pm

Sharon,

I feel for you, for your pain and hurt. It is always frustrating, disgusting and of extreme disappointment to find out that the person you most loved and you value the most could hurt you in so many ways deeply.  You would really feel that no person on earth deserves to feel what you've been feeling. The rejection just cuts so deep that it can be debilitating for days, months, years. It took me almost 2 years to get over the rejection of the man I had been with for 12 years. It even came to a point that I'd wake up every day but feeling that I do not want to wake up at all. for every day of my life, after he had chosen another girl over me despite our 12 year together, I wake and it's still him on my mind. I began to wonder why time was not healing me. I asked God when recovery will take place. It's been a long harrowing journey, a long dark tunnel but....All I can say to you right now is there is light at the end of the tunnel. It will all pass... BUT... you will have to make yourself strong and smart to do the right thing.

 

What did I do? Well... I knew God gave me intelligence and good thinking to help myself recover, I was just not doing it right for some reason. .. so I purposely got myself distracted so I'd have less time thinking about my past. I enrolled in a gym, joined friends' activities all the time, attended all family gatherings, bought things that will make me happy (laptop for net surfing), went to church more than once a week... AND devoted time to read God's words. I wanted to find meaning in all that has happened. I decided to seek God's help and wisdom from thereon and decided that it will be HIM who should be in control. I realized it was what I was doing wrong. I acted and decided on my own... despite that I thought I was praying diligently... my prayer were prayers something that would impose my will on God. I learned to let go and let God. And it was os wonderful after that... I just felt light and at peace and joyful. God granted me the grace to be so... or rather, I finally accepted God's grace. I am now in the process of really losing control to God's will over my life. I believe in His purpose for my life and I said whatever it is... so be it. Sharon, all I needed to do was accept God's grace... it's a free gift... love, peace, and joy. But I needed to be close to Him and delight in Him to see what He had in store for me.

 

I am now in a happy place... it's been almost 6 months since it all happened... I just woke up and it was no longer my past that I think about. I actually have a grateful heart nowadays and all I can do each morning I wake is say a prayer of thanks to God. I actually look forward to waking up now. See, it's all gonna work out... just let God in. Know and trust in His directives... it takes some effort to be clear about it but even that, you pray for too. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you all the way in seeking God's truth and purpose for you.

 

Sharon, I pray that you'd be open to God's grace and receive all the blessings He is going to give you. His generosity is boundless... His mercy infinite. If you remain in Him, as His child... He will grant you deliverance that is complete and enduring. He did it for me, He will do it for you. (",)

Permalink Reply by thailandrose on March 29, 2011 at 2:16am

I try to put God first always and I pray for him to lead me to "the one" that he wants me to be with.  I know that God is working on me, helping me to become the person that is right for "him" right now...ie. helping me to overcome my alcoholism, helping me to resist temptations, helping me to be a true Christ follower.  And I have always known that God will provide someone who is right for me, but that I need to be patient.  I have been divorced 5 yrs now.  I was in a relationship for 2 of those years since being divorced, but it didn't work out.  I have done some dating but none have been right for me.   There is a new guy at my work though.  I feel like I am falling for him.  He is so kind, humble, cute, caring, loving, smart, nice smile.....and I think he likes me too.  (He is very shy though so it is hard to be sure).  The only problem is that he is not a Christian.  He is actually from India.  We are friends and sometimes go out to lunch (with other people from work) or go to the gym together (with others from work).  I am very attracted to him and I am so confused because other than him not being Christian he seems perfect for me.  Is it possible that God would allow for me to fall in love with/ marry a man that was not Christian?  His personality is so perfect for mine.  He is Hindi.... I don't know how much he is into his religion.  Maybe God would save him through me?  Maybe I should invite him to church, as a friend when a door opens for that?  I am just taking it super slow.  I am trying not to make it too obvious that I like him.  I am just being his friend and waiting on God to show me if this could possibly be the one.  I know in the Bible it says to not be unevenly yoked.  So what if he never becomes Christian?  Would God be against me building a relationship with him?  Would his values be so different than mine?  He is such a caring person towards others, always thinking of others first.  Well.... life is complicated!  I'm waiting on God's guidance but in the meantime someone here can comment.  I doubt I will like what you have to say because I am pretty sure you would say that he can not be the one.   :( 

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on February 24, 2012 at 11:24pm

I would like to think that God helps those who help themselves.so we may start as friends n God then leads us to the right person as we pray n believe.BUT FIRST its us to take d initiative n start something,then he will take it to greater heights or to a completely different direction.God bless you

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