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IS THERE ANYTHING CALLED A DESTINED WIFE/HUSBAND?...

I WOULD LOVE MORE LIGHT ON THIS...

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Permalink Reply by swtswan on March 6, 2011 at 6:13pm

Dear Sisiter Ruth , there is a site that answers any questions you may have or even think up on ( gotquestions.org) It is helpful, an I am researching some things, myself for clarification, theres even bible scriotures to look up regarding what yu ask about. this subject is pretty well define, Bless you

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Permalink Reply by RUTH on March 6, 2011 at 7:22pm

thank u ..remain blessed...

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Permalink Reply by SHYLEEJAN on March 8, 2011 at 6:13am

Good morning SISTER RUTH

I would say yes, i beleive GOD put people in our life for all sort of reason.I met my husband in jail,he got sentence 35 years did 12 and when he came out we got married. My husband and i was deep in sin,but after he died all i could think about is seveing GOD, i know if i was with someone else after they die i would find someone else, but the love i had for my husband i could not give it to no one but GOD . I say all that to say this GOD say he knew me before i was in my mother womb.He say he put 2 road before us and we must choose one. and he wii give us what our heart desire.LUV

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Permalink Reply by Carl Taylor on March 8, 2011 at 8:34am

Ruth, I will probably differ from many, but I don't think that God really cares who you marry, what your job is or where you go to school. Now having said that, give me an opportuinty to explain. Sometimes, I think we use God as a crutch to lean on. He has given us a mind, feelings and His Word to guide us in making decisions in this life. I find many Christians just sitting and waiting on God to send the right person or the right job that "lines up with His will for my life". I'm not sure that you can justify that scripturally. I think that it is God's will for us is to honor Him in all our choices. So, choosing a mate or a career should be less about God's plan/will and more about how we are going to honor Him through those relationships. We see God at work everyday around us, are we joining Him in that work or are we waiting for some devine invitation to fall out of heaven. If you meet a godly man, that you are attracted to and he is to you, and he will love you, be a good father to your children, be the spiritual leader of your home, be your friend and lover, then you have to be the one to discern these things. God isn't going to put a stamp on his head that says "this is the one". If you are walking close to God, through pray and reading His Word, then you will know in your spirit when you have met the "right" one. Don't be decived tho, we never really know what is going on inside of another person, even if we live with them for years. Some people are good at putting up fronts that they desire for us to see. This is why we rely on the disernment of the Holy Spirit to help us. Use Him, your heart and your mind in equal parts. Too many times we listen to our heart or our mind and we get things out of balance.

The only thing I find in the Bible about "destined" is for us as believers, we are "predestined" to go to heaven if we have faith and trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior. Be blessed and I hope this helps. Contact me directly if you need to.

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Permalink Reply by Kayla on March 16, 2011 at 2:44pm

I agree with Carl Taylor. I wish God would put a stamp on someone's head for me because my judgment is horrible. However, in the event that he wouldn't, I hope that he at least throws a lot of signs my way. I'm afraid I'll be too anal and cautious that I'll pass up possible candidates. I'm also afraid that I won't be careful enough and end up attracting the wrong person. I guess time will tell!

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on March 17, 2011 at 12:26am

Searching for a 'Sole' Mate!

by Gary Thomas

Our culture has embraced a rather absurd notion that there is just one person who can, in the words immortalized by Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, "complete us." This is a disastrous mindset with which to approach a lifelong marital decision.

The notion of a "soul mate" is actually pretty ancient. Well over two thousand years ago, the Greek philosopher Plato surmised that a perfect human being was tragically split in two, resulting in a race of creatures sentenced to spend the rest of their lives searching for that missing other who can complete them. ¹

The real danger in this line of thinking is that many people mistake a storm of emotion as the identifying mark of their soul mate. How else can you identify "destiny"?

Such individuals marry on an infatuation binge without seriously considering character, compatibility, life goals, family desires, spiritual health, and other important concerns. Then when the music fades and the relationship requires work, one or both partners suddenly discover that they were "mistaken": this person must not be their soul mate after all! Otherwise, it wouldn't be so much work. Next they panic. Their soul mate must still be out there!

Such people can't get to divorce court fast enough, lest someone steal their "one true soul mate" meant only for them. When we get married for trivial reasons, we tend to seek divorce for trivial reasons.

Good and Bad Choices

In a biblical view, there is not "one right choice" for marriage, but rather good and bad choices. We are encouraged to use wisdom, not destiny, as our guide when choosing a marital partner. There is no indication that God creates "one" person for us to marry. This is because Christians believe that God brings the primary meaning into our lives. Marriage — though wonderful — is still secondary.

Consider, for example, Paul's advice in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 . He clearly leaves the choice of marriage up to us; there are benefits to singleness, and benefits to being married. If you're unable to handle sexual temptation as a single, Paul says, then by all means, get married.

There is no hint at all of finding "the one person" that God created "just for you." It's far more a pragmatic choice: do you think you'll sin sexually if you don't get married (1 Corinthians 7:2)? Are you acting improperly toward a woman you could marry (1 Corinthians 7:36)? If so, go ahead and get married — it's your choice, and God gives you that freedom.

Soul Mates or 'Sole' Mates?

A sole mate is someone who walks with us as together we apply biblical love.

by Gary Thomas

Making the Choice

The reason it is so crucial to adopt the Bible's view of "good and bad choices" over your destiny of finding "the one" is that the former attitude allows you to objectively consider the person you marry. There is no objective measurement of "destiny." Powerful emotions can blind us to all sorts of clues; when we adopt the biblical attitude of making a "wise" choice, we can use all that God has given us to arrive at a solid decision that should be based on a number of factors:

Scriptural mandates. Is the person a believer who fears God (Proverbs 31:30) and who is biblically eligible for marriage (Mark 10:11-12)?
Wisdom. How do they handle their money? (Proverbs 31:16, 18) Is this person a hard worker? (Proverbs 13:4; 26:13-15) Do they live an upright life? (Proverbs 13:6, 20; 25:28) Does this person wound people with their words, or are they an encourager? (Proverbs 12:18; 18:21) Are they peaceful, or quarrelsome? (Proverbs 17:19; 29:8)
Parental, pastoral, and wise advice. Your parents know you better than you may realize, and even if they aren't believers, they generally want the best for you. Also talk to your pastor and people you respect for their counsel: "Does this relationship seem like a 'fit' to you? Are there any areas you're concerned about?" If the people I most respected had serious reservations about a relationship, I would assume I had lost my objectivity due to infatuation and put all marriage plans on hold.
Prayer. Rejecting the notion that God creates one person just for us doesn't discount the reality that God can lead us toward someone, and help us make a wise choice when we seek him in prayer.

What is a 'Sole Mate'?

The search for "the one" is often an idolatrous pursuit. As Christians, we must believe that our primary meaning comes from our relationship with God: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness..." (Matthew 6:33, NKJV, emphasis added). Thus, a Christian should not consider any marital union that would not feed this primary relationship with God. You'll bring great misery into your life if you ignore this command.

But also — just as importantly — we mustn't enter into a marriage expecting more than another human can give. If my wife looks to me to be God for her — to love her like only God can love her — I'll fail every time and on every count. I'm trying, but I fall short every day. Tragically, I see too many young people wanting to get married in order to find this God-acceptance and God-love. Infatuation can initially feel like it approaches this God-love, but eventually it fades, disillusionment sets in, and the once "fabulous" relationship soon becomes an excruciating prison.

Can I suggest a more biblical pattern? Instead of following Plato in a wild pursuit of our soul mate, we should seek to find a biblical "sole mate." A sole mate is someone who walks with us as together we apply biblical love. The most accurate definition of true love is found in John 15:13 (NASB): "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

This love is not based on feelings, but on sacrifice. The Bible calls men to act like martyrs toward their wives, laying down their own lives on their wives' behalf (Ephesians 5:25). Love is not an emotion; it's a policy and a commitment that we choose to keep. Such a love is not based on the worthiness of the person being loved — none of us deserve Christ's sacrifice! — but on the worthiness of the One who calls us to love: "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19).

IS THERE ANYTHING CALLED A DESTINED WIFE/HUSBAND?...

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