So Discouraged

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by maggie hancox on May 26, 2009 at 6:34pm

Ok listen up...BEEN THERE!!!!
I have felt like a fraud, guilty and misserable.
I will tell you more of my story if you ever wish to hear it, otherwise please read my blog....

Please read Galations by Paul..the whole lot!! and pray that God reveal his true nature to you.

Forget about the fact you have depression, take the meds, tell your doc if it is not working and be responsible in that respect, but forget about it being an issue, you can not control this on your own!!

A little saying goes...if it is broken..give it to dad!!

Understand that sin is sin, small or big, all the same to him, it is you who judge which is worse or better then the other.

Jesus died and rose again, offering you salvation as a free gift, there is NOTHING you can do to earn it, because it was a gift. Not ONE of us deserved it NOT ONE. (for all have fallen short of his glorious standard!)


You see salvation has nothing to do with you being 'good' or not sinning, ie being in control...

Salvation is the acceptance of the gift that Jesus gave us, (he who confesses with their mouth that I am lord and believes it in their heart is saved!!!!)

Pauls letters, Galations, romans and timothy and other letters of his show the understsanding that (we can not keep the law)..we just can't!!! it is (only by believing in his true nature that we can truely fulfil the law.)

If there is a particular sin you are struggling with give it to God ask him to take it from you, yes he can do that, he did it for me!! Just pick one if there are many and work on one at a time, to build your faith. God will work on what ever you have going on,( for he who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it.)..does that not tell you that it is not in your control to fix yourself..does that not tell you who does do the fixing.
CONDEMNATION IS NOT FROM GOD

Find some praise and worship music that suits your taste, I like hillsong collections and play them every chance you get, sing them even if you don't feel like it.
Talk talk and TALK to God, give him all of your broken peices, praise him for listening if that is the only thing you can praise him for...ASK him to show you his true nature, because that is what you do not understand at this moment.

Things I have written with these ( ) are things that came from the bible, if you want I can find the scriptures that I have tried to explain, but I felt it more urgent to reply you asap first.

Permalink Reply by CLARA TAYLOR on May 26, 2009 at 7:04pm

RYAN: YOU NEED TO FEEL NEEDED. THE LORD NEEDS YOU TO WORK FOR HIM! I BELIEVE THAT IN MY HEART THAT YOU WANT TO HELP THE LESS FORTUNATE. WHY NEED START A FOOD DRIVE TO HELP THOSE WHO YOU SAY YOU FEEL GUILITY. DO YOU ATTEND CHURCH? IF SO, TALK TO YOUR PASTOR. YOU ARE CRYING OUT TO GOD! HE HEARS YOU AND LOVES YOU. IF YOU ASK THE LORD HE WILL RESTORE THE JOY IN YOUR LIFE. THE LORD SAY WE HAVE NOT BECAUSE WE ASK NOT. ASK HIM RYAN. TAKE THE JOY. FATHER I PRAY FOR RYAN RIGHT NOW IN YOUR PRECIOUS NAME, I BLEED YOUR PRECIOUS BLOOD OVER HIM FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOES. I PRAY THE SPIRIT OF DEPRESSION, BE GONE IN JESUS NAME. WE STOMP YOU SATAN IN JESUS NAME. RYAN HAS THE MIND OF CHRIST. WE PRAISE YOU FATHER FOR THE HEALING THAT IS TAKING PLACE IN RYAN LIFE RIGHT NOW. THAT YOU WILL OPEN THE DOOR TO DO WHAT IS HIS HEARTS DESIRE, TO FEED THE NEEDY. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY... RYAN, KEEP ON SAYING I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST. WHEN YOU START FEELING DEPRESSED, SING THE SONG " I HAVE THE JOY, JOY, JOY JOY DOWN IN MY HEART AND BELIEVE IT IN JESUS NAME. I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FO YOU. IF YOU NEED TO TALK, I WILL LISTEN IN JESUS NAME

Permalink Reply by Mary O on May 26, 2009 at 7:44pm

Ryan,

God bless you! Please follow up with your doctor. Do you have someone that you can trust that you can confide in? My husband suffers from depression. I so understand what you are going through. I can tell when he doesn't take his medication for a few days. I'm his back-up plan person. Sometimes he gets a little lax and forgets to take it. I know what signs to look for. I immediately ask him what's up with his medication.

I will pray for you. I thank the Lord that the heaviness that oppresses and depresses you lets up. I thank God that you are filled with joy and enlightenment. In Jesus' name. :-)

Permalink Reply by Ryan Bluris on May 26, 2009 at 10:37pm

Thank you everyone for responding. I just feel so helpless. Maggie I would love to hear your story sometime. I really need to talk to someone who knows what I am going through. My parents are Christians but they just don't understand. God Bless you all for responding, I can already feel the fruit of Jesus in you all, please keep praying for me. Anyway to answer a few questions, I have listened to Christian music, I really like Casting Crowns but lately I just don't want to hear it. Like I said, I am sick of going to God every two minutes when I have a problem. I have done this for so long, it just makes me weak. Like every task I do makes me want to cry. ALL I THINK ABOUT IS GOD, I cannot have a normal conversation about anything but God. And trust me I would love to go to church, but every time I go I have the worst social anxiety, I think everyone is looking at me, I can't concentrate on the message, and I just hate being around the bubbly people, it just makes me upset. I know that the people there aren't happy like they might show, but atleast they can function and are not worrying all the time, I just wanna be like that.

Permalink Reply by maggie hancox on June 15, 2009 at 1:10am

I do understand feeling helpless and social anxiety!!! I totally get that!!

Please understand all though my Father has healed me of these things, it does not mean that I do not understand and can not relate to what you are going through now.

The fact that you have not arrived at this stage of being does not mean he does not hear you either.
God has a perfect plan for you, and for your happiness. I do not know when, nor do I know how, none of that is for any of us to know.

When you say you are sick of going to God every two minutes and you are sick of your music, I still get that from time to time.
It isn't about major effort, it is simply about giving yourself the grace to heal, taking the time to enjoy music and other things and remembering that even the smallest little things that bring a good feeling you need to tell your Father about.

Basically draw near to him and he will draw near to you, and the best way to draw near to him is in praise and worship.

Give yourself grace, you will heal in time, but for now you are in a process and you can't get better without giving yourself a break to do so.

I used to have such bad social anxiety that I would feel like i was going to pee my pants, faint or throw up, I would litterally run out of a store, even in the middle of talking to someone, I would stutter and stammer, and even bowl anyone down who was in my way.
I would then feel like I could not breath, that was the worst.
I would cry so much, so embarrassed and ashamed, knowing now I could never face them again whom ever I had ran out on.

I would say the stupidest things, sometimes even ramble about nothing. ...and that is when I COULD talk.

My depression had me just wishing I was dead, and I almost made it so!
I was to my mind a failure, unlovable and I hated myself so very very much.

I just felt so useless and tired and my head was always done in from thinking from the moment i woke until the moment I fell asleep...IF I fell asleep.

Everywhere I went i saw my faliures, every thing I did I saw how I had failed.
Everything others said to me, just made me feel like I was failing it felt as though they were confirming my failures.

ESSPECIALLY WHEN THEY WERE SO DARN HAPPY!! because it reminded me of how badly i wanted to be happy and couldn't.

Permalink Reply by Brenda on January 28, 2011 at 7:56am

I myself suffer from major depression along with anxiety,schizoeffective and personality disorder...I have been in counseling for many years and on many different medications that have not worked especially when it comes to fear and paranoia. I have prayer to God for so long...I am struggling day by day to get through this life. I have tried the OD. 3 times and each time I would pray God if its my time let me be with you and everytime I would wake up. So God I know isn't ready for me yet. Satan tells me I'm a failure all the time for everything I've done from being a  mother to 3 children to being a terrible wife. I have lots of guilt that I have put my family through so much. I have never been to a Christian counselor but have an appt with one Monday. I have lived with alot of anger..I have had a terrible life from my childhood to my first marriage at age 16 untill my second marriage at the age is 21. Pray that God is guiding my footsteps into the right direction by me being offered to be seen by a Christian counselor..I believe I am going through more than spiritual warfare for me...I have to give it all to God...This problem is to big for me and Dr's.Please say a prayer for me. I am 50 years old....Its time that I stop surviving day to day and start living. IN JESUS NAME.

 

                                                                                                    BRENDA

Permalink Reply by yvonne baxter on May 27, 2009 at 12:12am

Dear Ryan,

If I tell you I know EXACTLY what you are going through, would you believe me?
The truth is, I do know exactly what you are. I have been in this same place for years, too many to count.

I am 44 years old, have three grown children who have children of their own, so that makes me a grandmother of 7.
I have spent my entire life depressed and wanting to die.
My first experience with suicide was when I was 5 years old. I was walking home from school on a sunny day and I had thoughts of throwing myself under a truck that pulled into a driveway in front of me and almost knocked me down. I didn't, of course, only because Easter was coming up and I knew the Easter bunny would come to my home.
I have had continuing thoughts of suicide since then, attempting a few times, not telling anyone, taking a handful of pills and waking up from my drug-induced sleep angry that I was alive.
That anger followed me for the next 20 years, taking it out on my husband and children, especially my precious children.

Today, after many years of therapy, I have dealt with much of the anger that has stemmed from my childhood and learned that depression is swallowed anger.
Growing up, anytime I was angry around my mother, she would yell at me " swallow that anger!". And I did, until I was so filled, I began having anxiety attacks and thought I was going crazy out of my mind. I begged my doctors to put me into a "nuthouse" as I believed there was something seriously wrong with me. They assured me I was not going crazy and prescribed anti-anxiety meds and therapy which taught me the tools I needed to deal with the anxiety and before long, the attacks left me.

I became a Christian, asking Jesus into my heart about 17 or 18 years now.
During my walk with Christ, I have heard from many "well-meaning" Christians, and I believe they truly did mean well, was "if your faith was stronger, you could be healed".
I knew in my deepest heart that my faith was not lacking! At the same time, I was tired of praying over and over for a healing that was not coming.

My three children were all diagnosed with depression, my mother and one of my sister's as well as a cousin, so knowing that chemical depression runs in my family, I began to look at this illness from a different angel.
Yes, I have depression, yes I will be on meds for the rest of my life, well, so are some diabetics! Many of them are on meds for the rest of their lives and diabetes is known to run in families.
I know that comparing depression to diabetes is like comparing apples and potatoes, both are illnesses, one affects the brain, not the mind, (except when left untreated), and the other effects the pancreas.

I still struggle with depression, and with suicidal thoughts, but the difference between then and now is I talk about the thoughts to my family who are my support system and I give them away to The One who created my mind and body. I hand over the thoughts to my Father.

I have many of the same thoughts you do, and I would be willing to talk to you about them if you would like.
For whatever reason, God has allowed us to walk this path. It makes it easier to know that we don't have to walk it alone.

Permalink Reply by maggie hancox on May 27, 2009 at 1:31pm

Ryan, I hope that you have read what people have written and realized just how NOT ALONE you are, and how many of us have experienced the desperation that you feel. AND THAT THERE IS A WAY THROUGH IT.

I pray our Father lift you with his wonderful Joy and reveal his nature to you.

HANG IN THERE

Permalink Reply by Ryan Bluris on May 27, 2009 at 4:10pm

Thank you Yvonne and Maggie for your responses, Maggie have you had depression your whole life and were cured? Could you please tell me your story?

Permalink Reply by Dawn on June 3, 2009 at 12:31pm

Saying a prayer for you...I KNOW how you feel. I have been there, truly I have. I could have written the same things you said about yourself about me. It sounds like you really, really need to get more active with comunicating with your doctor. I have (in addition to depression) Adult ADD and this can cause depression. PLEASE look into talking with your Doctor about whether you may have this condition as well. The meds are GREAT for the depression...Hope this helps, please, definitly let me know it you have any questions would be more than happy to help in anyway that I possible can.

In Christ,
Dawn

Permalink Reply by maggie hancox on June 15, 2009 at 12:38am

yes Ryan, (sorry for the late reply)
my life has been one train wreck to another, and not much of it was even my fault.

I felt like I got beat down so much that I just didn't even want to get up.

Every day I lived to just go back to sleep again, wishing I just would not wake up, every day tired, sick feeling, anxiety and a constant feeling like I will never be good enough and i will never be happy. Life is just so unfair!

Always under attack, and everyone hates me.

I know to some this sounds extreme, but if they lived what I lived they would know that I really have had a rough time!

Here's the thing....MY LIFE STILL HAS SOME OF THE SAME STRUGGLES!!!
The difference THE VERY BIG DIFFERENCE is that these things just don't affect me the same, it seems that with the involvement of my Father God, I am able to experience a whole new focus, the focus now is UP!!! up to higher thoughts, to the love that he has given me, the forgiveness and the special knowledge that I truely am special and loved by him.

A great example is that my grandmother, the woman who raised me, whom I love so dearly died two weeks ago.
I deppended on her, she was my rock, my strength and the one whom I could run when life got to hard..well mostly because even she couldn't help me when I was in full flight of depression.
She died, and ordinarily that would have destroyed me.
But because of the blessing of my father in so many ways, and the constant flow of promises that he has in his word, I am able to be uplifted and stand strong.
I have a focus, a purpose and I know that I was designed for something great, because my Father God is the master builder!!
My freind you are too, you don't realize it yet, because Satan has stolen that from you.
It doesn't have to be this way, there are ways out.
It takes time, it takes patience and it takes daily, sometimes minute by minute choices in doing things that bring joy.

1) find some worship music you like, or could grow to like, something that talks of the fathers love of his joy, and esspecially anything 'happy' about him.
Play it, and SING ALONG.
2) always start the day telling him thank you for his perfect design of the world around you TAKE NOTICE of the little things like trees that are pretty, or plants esspecially animals.
and praise him for it, FIND BEAUTY AROUND YOU.

Life is still going to be full of challenges, but you need to make a concious choice to overcome, to rely on your Father God.
The absoloute best advice I can ever give you on this whole earth BAR NONE is learn about your fathers nature and accept that he is talking DIRECTLY TO YOU!! yes YOU!!

Please take the time to watch this clip. the excerpts are no mistake they are taken for their meaning from the Bible, the scriptures you will see for your refference on the left hand side.
Enjoy and keep in touch.

Permalink Reply by Ryan Bluris on June 15, 2009 at 9:23pm

I just want to say to everyone praise the lord, thank you so much for your story and video Maggie! Thank you too Dawn! I am starting to feel a lot better on my antidepressants! I had a great day today! From reading everyone's story, Jesus has showed me through all of you that life is not one big happy seen all the time. EVERYONE goes through struggles, I do not care who you are, our sins have made us this way, but thankfully our Lord sent his only son Jesus to save us from our sins. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me, I just know now that God will be there and through the trials of my life I have learned that. He has carried me through my struggles, even though I did not see it at the time. I just thank the Lord that you all have helped me and have prayed for me. May God Bless you all! I will keep you all posted on my recovery! Thank you so much!!