I have changed my life, to follow God's word.
I try to trust him, but that old devil seems to win, I don't know why.
I have fasted, prayed, but tonight, I can't even sleep, like satan himself is attacking me.
It's been 8 months, and I'm tired of it.
Mental torment, no peace.
I know God is powerful, why is He not helping me tonight? Or why am I not free of this?
Just for a brief moment 2 days ago,(1/2 day) I felt better. I said I would trust in God with a child like faith.
But the oppressive spirit always always always returns.
Why, God, for whatever reason, does not answer my prayers?
I feel like God is punishing me, more than I can bear.
I mean this....God could give me peace, instantly ( I have had about 1 month of peace in the last 8 months).
I know it's wrong, but I just want to give up. I won't, but i sure feel like it.
I'm just a brother in Christ.
It's like this,
I WANT God in my life.
I do not know WHAT I am doing wrong. I really don't.
I'm fasting Thursday,
John
Perhaps I need faith as a mustard seed, i sure don't have it sometimes...
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