All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
My story... (I have a question)
I was baptized as a baby. I was confirmed at a church in my pre-teen years.
While I went to church periodically - I never really "got it".
I was a rebellious teenager...and I have some serious sins.
I guess my first mistake was never reading the Bible growing up.
When I was a teenager - I partied hard. Wasn't very kind to this "temple" the Lord provided me with.
I was also promiscous and when I was 16 - I got pregnant...my parents insisted I marry the father.
I did and when I became a mom - I gave up partying - took my responsibilty very seriously (my daughter just turned 30 in August)...my husband at the time however did not. He just kept on partying.
When I was 17, my husband and I came home to PA from California (he was stationed in the Army in CA). I suspected that I was pregnant - but didn't tell my husband. We were at a party - and as a joke - he put 3 hits of LSD in my soda. I got terribly ill and vomitted all over the place. Only then did he admit what he did.
I was scared - and I ended up terminating the pregnancy. Something I have difficulty dealing with to this day...but I can not change what is done.
I gave birth again at 19 to a son who is 27 today and mentally disabled.
Shortly after his birth - I divorced my husband.
I remarried a few years later - I gave birth to another daughter and the marriage only lasted 3 years. Not sure if it was the age difference (he was 10 years older than I) but we fought every day - and he did not like my children from my previous marriage. I did not want my kids to have to suffer his wrath - and I divorce him.
I remarried yet again to my childhood sweethear - we did not have any children together - but we stayed married 14 years. Until we filed bankruptcy and my son got involved in drugs - things got horrible and I confided in my 27 year old married supervisor at work - I was 39. Looking back I think I was suffering severe mid-life crisis - but I ended up falling for my supervisor. I did not want to "cheat" on my husband - he didn't deserve it - so I left him. I had an 11 month affair with a married man.
Then I met my current husband Carleton. From the moment I met him - I knew he was "different". He did admit to me that he was a recovering addict, and that he suffered from type 1 diabetes and yet something about him told me that I finally found my "soulmate". Things were great for awhile - then his diabetes took a turn for the worst - and long story short - his doctors ended up getting him addicted to pain killers - and he was also drinking alcohol - and he changed into someone I didn't even know. I was about to leave - but something wouldn't let me go.
He ended up going into detox - and is currently clean & sober. So you think I would be happy right?
Wrong. I worried about him every minute when he first got out of rehab...and I was driving myself mad. I was so worried about him relapsing. My sister-in-law suggested Al-anon...when I went there - they suggested that I "Let go...and Let God"...
That night I went home and I prayed. I asked God to take the worry from me, I was putting my husband and his addiction in his hands. I asked him that he "please" not let me down.
The next day - without even knowing about my prayer - my husband suggested that we start attending church. I happily agreed. I felt it was "a sign from God".
A man at church...a stranger...offered to load us his Bible during a reading. It was a beautiful Bible and it had underlinings and highlights and handwritten notes. It was beautiful. My husband asked him where he got it because it also had big lettering. He handed the Bible to my husband and said "here...it's yours...take it...now you have no reason not to read it"...
I was moved to tears. This man could've given his Bible to anyone, a family member, a friend...but he chose to give it to my husband - a stranger.
I have been reading it ever since. We have been going to church every Sunday - and loving every minute of it...but the more I read of the Bible...the more I wonder...is it too late for me?
I have sinned a lot.
Is it possible for me to be forgiven.
I believe in God and Jesus. I believe that Jesus died for my sins...
But when I read the Bible...and I see that I have pretty much broken most of the commandments...
Really?...Can I too be saved???
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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Lori,
1JN 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
RO 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
RO 10:10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
RO 10:11 As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."
RO 10:12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile--the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him,
RO 10:13 for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
2PE 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
The answer is ABSOLUTEY YES!!! God can and will save you if you surrender your life to Him.
Lord Bless,
LT
The NET Coordinator
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Permalink Reply by Lori Ann Hoffman on
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Thank you LT...thank you so much for your words of encouragement.
I think one of the reasons that I never read the Bible was that I never quite understood the King James version. After the generous man at church (his name is Otis Gordon) gave my husband his Bible it was New American Standard updated version - it was "easy" to read and understand...I started reading it so much that it prompted my husband to take me to the local Bible store - and he told me to "pick a Bible and I will buy it for you"....I picked the New Living Translation which is almost told like a story book. I was so engrossed in reading the word - that I fininshed the book of Genesis in one week...I now am using the Bible Study recommended on this site.
I do occasionally break away from the study - and just read a random chapter - and amazingly when I open to a random page - it seems to ALWAYS be something that I need to hear. I feel like it is God's way of speaking to me. Of letting me know what he wants from me.
My only regret is that I didn't start reading the Bible sooner in life.
Thank you again LT...you have given me hope.
Lord Bless you as well...
Lori Ann
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Lori,
Praising God with you. Continue to focus on Him and read the Word and He will open the doors. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.
Lord Bless,
LT
The NET Coordinator
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Lori,
Here are a couple of things that may help you on your journey towards Him.
http://www.allaboutgod.com/common/good-news.htm
http://www.allaboutgod.net/group/genesis
There are also some wonderful ladies on TheNET who can help you on your journey as well.
Lord Bless,
LT
The NET Coordinator
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Thanks again LT. I am already a member of that group...and I printed out the other link to read a little later at work. Thank you for all of your help and advice. You are truly a blessing.
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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Lori,
Wow - Great testimony in progress you are.
Acts Chapter 9
1: But Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest 2: and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. 3: Now as he journeyed he approached Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed about him. 4: And he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" 5: And he said, "Who are you, Lord?" And he said, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting; 6: but rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do." 7: The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one.
One of the greatest men the Church has been blessed with was a persecutor of Christian. Because of him many were put to death.
This is the God we serve Lori:
1 Corinthians 1 >>
27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”
It is obvious to me that God has chosen to work in you and your husband. So as brother LT has suggested with the word- "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Repent, Repent, Repent and believe in Jesus Christ. He came to pay for our sins, so anyone who calls upon His name will be saved. Call upon Him and be saved. You can drop to your knees or be sitting down anywhere, in your room or anywhere and cry out to Him and He will save you. You have sinned against a Holy God and one day you will be before Him and you will have to give an account for everything done in this life, today is the day of salvation. Today you can call upon Him to save you as you repent of your sins, so when you are before Him it will not be for him to judge you, but to welcome you.
All the things that you have gone through God can use for His glory. He saved Saul/Paul that day on the road to Damascus. A man that persecuted the Church. No one who comes to Him will be rejected.
Blessings friend.
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Thank you so much for your words of inspiration.
I so much need friends like YOU.
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Permalink Reply by Gayla on
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Lori,
The answer to your question is "ABSOLUTELY YES!!!!!"
For the first time in your life..."You are getting it" Praise God....
This is what God wants, for us to finally get the message that he is real, that his word is real, and that salvation is also real. It is a gift from God.. one that we can never earn.... nor deserve.... and he offers it to who so ever will...come to him, in sincere repentance for the sins that have been committed.....and turn from those sins to follow him.
This does not mean that he expects perfection, because we are not capable of it, he just wants to be the center of our world. He wants us to think of him , all the time, and what would he do in every situation that we face. What friends would he make? How would he conduct himself in business deals??? What about forgiveness....what does he expect in that area???? All of the answers are in his word.
Just remember one thing....when you ask for salvation....it truly is a gift..... everything esle falls in the category of learning and growing in the ways of God.... So.... learn to rejoice in the wonderful gift that God has given you, be joyful.....and enjoy the journey.
We are all a work in progress...and we are all sinners saved by Grace. We cannot get good enough to earn Gods favor, we can learn to be obedient to his word, which is his desire for us, and we can learn to commune with him in the spirit, which is our guide, and our friend.
You are blessed....enjoy it!!!
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Thank you - I requested you as a friend. I need friends like you. I hope that you will accept.
God Bless.
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Permalink Reply by Christine_loves_jesus on
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You have been forgiven you just have to forgive yourself :)
God Bless you <3
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You are absolutely right Christine. Thank you.
God Bless you as well.
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Thank you Bev for your kind words and insight - I am learning a lot through reading the Bible - and encouraging passages offered to me by the very kind people on this website.
I too sometime think that God pushed me to the end "so to speak" - so that I would "come to him for help". It was his way of "showing me that he is there". I feel it now.
I am going to speak with our pastor about getting baptized. I want to start over - I believe I have already begun the process - but getting baptized is important to me - as I said - I was baptized as a baby - but it was something that my parents wanted for me - this time - I will be doing it because I want to.
Again - thank you for your insight - I am like a sponge right now - taking it all in. :)
God Bless you as well.
Lori Ann~
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