How do you deal with people who make assumptions?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Leonard T on May 24, 2010 at 6:10am

Stacey,

Believe that the one's who think you are not are coming to you in love and with the desire to help. Thus, thank them for their concern and assure them that all is well. I would rather people be concerned about me than ignoring me :-)

Obviously I do not know what was said or how it was said, but would believe that they mean it for your good, so embrace the love :-)

Hope that helps.

Lord BLess,
LT

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Carla on May 25, 2010 at 11:01am

Hi Stacey,

LT has given you excellent advice. It is better that they are coming to you to make sure that you are okay, rather than assuming you are fine and saying nothing. There are two kinds of assumptions. We can also assume everything is fine and end up ignoring that person, when in fact everything is not fine.

Consider that it is the Love of Jesus being expressed to you. I believe that Jesus wants us each checking in with eachother to see if everything is okay..especially if our actions are showing that everything may not be okay.

My mom did that with me last week. I had been getting discouraged. She knows me so well that she heard it in my voice on the phone, and she asked me about it after we saw them on Mothers Day. When she asked, I hadn't even realized that I was getting discouraged until she asked if everything was okay. Her asking opened the door for a conversation for us to have, and put my focus right back where it needs to be. I could have responded pridefully and stated that everything was 'just fine Thank you'... but I didn't, and it allowed for me to grow and experience a deepened relationship with Mom and with God as I approached Him in prayer.

We're all going to have 'days like that', and it is a blessing that those people who know us so well will recognize when we are 'off' and check in to see if we are okay. Do not be offended that they are coming to you, be thankful. There are no lone-ranger Christians.

Much Love to you... Carla

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Stacey Osana Arquines on May 27, 2010 at 7:32pm

thanks yall

lots of love in Christ to you both :) <3

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Stacey Osana Arquines on May 27, 2010 at 11:52pm

kinda like

seek for understanding rather than to be understood

Blessings,
Stacey A

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on May 28, 2010 at 2:36am

You tell them that they are your problem hahahaha Something like, dude all was good until you got on my face, making an issue where there is no issue hahaahahaha ok - ok I am just kidding and bore. hahaha

Thank them for caring and do be aware that when you are so joyous and bless with the Love of God, you will be empower to shine through it all, but the family in Christ and specially others outside the saints, will have a hard time believing you are fine .

Example:

When I was going through a very hard situation (my fiancé past away) years ago - everyone would come up to me and tell me that it was ok to cry and let it out. To God's praise and Glory, I was fine. I told the congregation that God gives and takes away and I was fine with that by God's grace and sustaining power. Brothers would approached me and tell me that I did not have to lie about my pain or put up a front.

I understood that they did not understand that I was fine, of course not all of them where coming up to me with such comments. The mature brothers in the Lord would just tell me they were there if I needed them, but I had peace that goes beyond human understanding.

So I just kept loving the ones that thought I was just hiding the pain and appreciated them for their concerns.

We can pretty much turn any situation around for the glory of God. I would use those times to tell them how beautiful it is to abide in the word and how amazing it is to have joy and peace through it all. God turned it around for His Glory and helped me use those opportunities to evangelize the unbelievers and to demonstrate to those in the household that all things are possible with Christ. Amen? Amen!

Hope this helps Shorty.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Theresa on May 30, 2010 at 2:23am

Amen David, it is just like the scriptures says, we have peace that passes all understanding, I can relate to this where I was even questioning myself "am I okay?", it is that peace and joy that only God can give, we can be in the worst situation and not even be moved by it, like it does not exist.

Stacey, keep focusing on the Lord and keep loving Him and trusting in Him and what He did for you and the whole world and especially your neighbor who is in front of you, pray that they too will experience the love, the joy and the peace of God that you have. Thank God for putting them in your path and keep telling the Lord how much you love Him. At the same time, Carla and LT had a good point there but I would pay attention to the person who is saying these things to you and what is the spirit behind it? Are they caring family or friends or just murmuring complaining people? It does make a difference of who said it.

Blessings,
Theresa,

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Stacey Osana Arquines on May 31, 2010 at 2:01am

LT and Carla got it and Brother D got the other side of it for me and you added to my understanding with checking out whether the spirit is good hmm

at school the spirit of whom I speak of was challenging because of the negative care if that makes sense the tension was high (hidden complaints or under the breath complaints tis good now tho)
at home and for family and friend friends i deal with a lot of exta loving cuz like David I too go through the fine time in the Lord even where through the human perspective tough times may be unbearable..... but when focusing on the love of Jesus and for others any rough moment for me is a glance of mishap compared to the whole beauty of the great memory that the Lord created for me to share with others for how Great God is in his HOLINESS amen

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Stacey Osana Arquines on May 31, 2010 at 12:48am

Praise the Lord.... Brother D thank you

love 8

• ▶ Reply