concerning marriage

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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on January 25, 2010 at 8:13pm

According to the Word fo God ... no.

2CO 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."

The nation of Israel was told in the O.T. to not intermarry. The principle applies today because the O.T. speaks to keeping the faith of the nation pure and in this context the faith within the house pure.

There are many complications that arise because of the fundemental differences. Offten one will go ahead an marry thinking that they can change their spouse later, but there is no guarantee that they will change.

I would encourage you to seek out some sisters in the Lord who are married and do not have believing husbands. They can advise you regarding some of the difficulties that arise in such relationships if you should choose to proceed.

Lord Bless,
LT

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Permalink Reply by Gayla on January 26, 2010 at 5:25am

God gives us instruction, in order to spare us from heartache, he is not trying to keep you from doing what you want to do, rather, he is trying to guide you on the safest path, the one that will bring you pleasure, without so much pain, God is for you, and never against you, he is for the man that you love, but, he gives his wisdom, in your affairs, and it is up to you to decide who you are going to follow, self...or God.

It takes great faith, to walk away from someone who has won your heart, but, it will pay off down the road. Seek God, much in this decision, asking him to help you make it, and if you can't make it yourself, ask God to make the decision for you, he will.
Trust him always.

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Permalink Reply by Theresa on January 26, 2010 at 6:36am

Lyana,

The Word of God never fails us and God is never wrong in anything He says, all His promises are yeah and Amen.
Dear sister, you got some really good biblical advice from LT and Gayla and I am going to tell you the same thing basically....If you want a road marked with pains and sufferings and frustrations on every side, then go ahead and marry this guy who is not saved, who has different beliefs and different views from you, you two are not alike when it comes to making decisions on matters and if you do agree, there is something wrong in here. Marrying an unbeliever willingly because you are putting him first above God is a disaster waiting to happen, I know few that did it and I can tell you that their lives are nothing but a nightmare, yes God can turn it around but first there are terrible consequences that come with disobeying the Lord.
Remember sister, you can not change this guy, only God can change him. I pray this day that faith arise in your heart and you will do what is right according to God's ways, be blessed today.

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

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Permalink Reply by Carla on January 26, 2010 at 1:25pm

Hi Iyana,

I am a born again believer unequally yoked!

It is a very difficult circumstance to live in.

When I married, we were both non-believers...it wasn't until 3 1/2 years ago that I came to Jesus. As a new believer already married, God's Word says that I should stay with my husband...but let him go if he decides to leave.. he almost left several times.. but he is now here to stay.. I believe that God is holding my marriage together.

As a believer, I desire for every part of me to be given to God as a sacrifice...everything I say and do.
My husband does not understand that God is to be first...before all things.
He allows me to go to church, and participate in bible studies and prayer groups, but only if it does not interfere with our family time (understandable). He considers it to be 'my thing'...and he wants nothing to do with that part of my life.

When I hear from God in prayer...or received answered prayer... he doesn't have any desire to know about those things.

There is a huge 'lack' in an unequally yoked marriage. There is an intense intimacy which is missing...and it will not be filled until both husband and wife know the Lord.

There are certain things that my husband and I can relate on...but quite often they are superficial.. The more I learn of submission, patience, trust in the Lord...and many other things...things are improving. My husbands heart has softened, and one day he may turn to Jesus for Salvation. This is what I am praying for.

I love my husband far more now than I ever have. Through this I understand the importance of marriage...and how God values a relationship that is rooted in Him very deeply....Christ's Love far exceeds our own. I long to share with hubby the intimacy of my faith and what it means to me.....the door has not been opened for that yet.

Pray regarding this decision you have to make. When God speaks to us. it will always align with scripture, and LT has given you the biblical outline on how God sees unequally yoked marriage.

Being unequally yoked...it is possible that a few different things may happen in this type of relationship..( a few possible scenarios)
1) you may end up walking away from your faith to please your husband.
2) you may end up compromising certain convictions you wouldn't have to otherwise even face.
3) you will not be able to live for Jesus in the ways you desire.
4) it could cause you to grow...as long as you determine moment by moment that you will study to show yourself approved...and you must be covered in prayer regularly. This i s not common when you are facing a hostile husband.....but prayer from faithful intercessors does strengthen us.. God is holding us and won't let us go.
5) your fiance may see the way you live...your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control and find these things desirable and want them for himself. (Gal 5:22)
6) your fiance may begin to increasingly resent you and your faith...this is afterall a spiritual battle. (Eph 6:10-18)

To me...a marriage should be the most intimate of all our relatioships (after Jesus of coarse). This can only happen when both husband and wife are rooted in Christ and knit together by God's Love for Him first and then for others.

Having said all this... God is holding my marriage together. It has taken some drastic measures...but due to certain circumstances my hubby's heart is softening more and more, and he is slowly being less hostile to my faith. I am continually learning submission to God and to my hubby.. Even though hubby is not a believer I still need to live in submission to him according to the scriptures. God's rules apply to me...not my husband, because I am God's child. I have taken a long time to learn this by experience.

I hope you prayerfully ask God what He would have you do...Remember..His answer will always be in agreement with what it says in the bible.

Blessings, Carla

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Permalink Reply by Iyana Tonge on February 9, 2010 at 7:07am

Father Jesus I pray that u may open up Carla's husband heart Lord, to accept u as his lord and saviour. Farther I pray and that u guide him and protect him, as he draw closer and closer to u Lord. In the name of Jesus watch over him and bless their family draw them closer than before in Jesus name I pray Amen.

The wedding is behind of me, I am living my life for our Lord and saviour. I know the father have a lot in store for me, so im taking it one day at a time. I understand the conditions. I am living for the father and where ever he leads me I will follow.

Have a blessed day Iyana.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 26, 2010 at 2:03pm

You have been given awesome advice sister, I pray you take heed to it. You have asked a very important question and God has responded through His servants.

I pray you chose life beloved.

I am not trying to be mean to you sister at all, that would be evil of me, but I do feel led to tell you the following:

You are asking a very simple question, a question that most people who are in Christ through their bible reading or going to church come to know and become acquainted with the answer. The fact that you are asking us for advice is a beauty thing sis and it lets me know that the Holy Spirit is rising up Red Flags in your heart to help you make the right choices and it does reveal your desire to be pleasing to our Lord. It also lets me know that you need to dive into the Word of God and fellowship regularly. I tell you this not because I think I am perfect or holier than thou Lyana, but because I love you in the love of the Lord, you are my sister in Christ and that means a lot to me. Only the truth can set you free sister. And your question lets me know that you need to spend more time with the Lord through reading the bible and fellowshipping in a healthy (sound doctrine) Christian church. 

Thanks for asking and again - you have been given some excellent advice sis, I pray the Lord gives you the strength to walk in it and that He gives you hunger for His word.

Your bro Dv

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Permalink Reply by Iyana Tonge on February 9, 2010 at 7:23am

Father Jesus I thank u for sending new friends that will encourage me while on my journey. Thanks to everyone who sent their comments. The wedding is the past, drawing closer to the Almighty is my future. Our father has a lot in store for me, where ever he leads me I will follow. Only the Lord knows wats best for us and he will decide for me.

I pray and ask the father each day 2 reach out to him, day by day he is drawing closer and closer to God. He attends church his attitude have change and we share dicussion, without him being nagative. At time the devil try to use him against me, but in the name of Jesus I am strong and with God's help I and even stronger.

Brothers and sister we r all God's children, he will never leave us nor forsake us. The journey is not easy, but I will not give up, I will fight until the very end. Pray for me and my fiancee asking God to guide us and protect us, give us the strenght and faith we need to resist the temptation the devil has set before us, ask him to bless us and be with now and forever more.

Thank u bro and sis Love Iyana

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