All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Sexual Immorality
I have a fiance that I been with for 3 years and 3 months. This is the only guy that met almost all my family, which they love him, and I met almost all of his too. I love him but there are some things about him that is too difficult for me and things about myself that I am not happy with and want to change. I know the only person that can help you change is God, I want to be a better person and be a follower of Jesus. When I told my fiance that I wanted to stop having sex and want to change my life he couldn't understand, he wanted to know why now? I told him I wanted to wait til I was married to have sex again and if we got married I need him to be into God and Christianity as much as I am going to be. As I get closer to God my urge decrease and so did my participation, also from being tired of attitude from him and from work. So it's been days to weeks last time we were intimate before, after and now that that has happened. He told me he rather be friends because he's not ready for that right now and because I am not that much intimate with him, so he thinks I am going to be the same way if we were to get married. So he's not ready to get married and don't want to rush but claims he loves me. I love him and don't want to let him go because we been together for a long time and that would be a waste, but I am not going to put him before God which I already feel like I been doing. How can I deal with this? I prayed so much already, what more can I do?
Update:
Now that we been friends for awhile he agreed to get more into God and that he would marry me because he don't want to lose me and how he don't want to be intimate with anyone else. But he says he can't wait to have sex because he has needs and don't want to cheat on me though I told him we are not together; he doesn't understand why we can not do anything if we going to get married? Now my strength is building stronger for what I believe but still I don't want him out of my life because I still want to marry him. I want to know would it matter if you have sex a week or 1 day before you got married? And if so, what can I say or do to make things easier for us both?
Update:
Now that we been friends for awhile he agreed to get more into God and that he would marry me because he don't want to lose me and how he don't want to be intimate with anyone else. But he says he can't wait to have sex because he has needs and don't want to cheat on me though I told him we are not together; he doesn't understand why we can not do anything if we going to get married? Now my strength is building stronger for what I believe but still I don't want him out of my life because I still want to marry him. I want to know would it matter if you have sex a week or 1 day before you got married? And if so, what can I say or do to make things easier for us both?
Views: 100
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sara on
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Maybe this is God's way of telling you to let go. If it is God's will for you to be together then nothing you do or say can stop it. I know it is a lot easier said than done. Sometimes the things or people we want aren't always the best for us.
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Permalink Reply by Amanda on
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That's so true. It's just had to let go and plus we live together so I don't know what to do. I feel bad because he's not close to his family and his mom died 2 months ago and that was all he really had.
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Permalink Reply by once upon a time on
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Psalm 95:6
6 Come, let us bow down in worship,
let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;
Praise God for all the wonderful thoughts that they shared to you sister Amanda. God wants us to be like Him Holy, righteous and worthy to His Kingdom, if we are the true follower of Jesus Christ we must abide in Him before anyone else. Let God's Holy Spirit will control your life everyday and dwell His Holy Words daily to strengthen you.
I will keep you in my prayer, I am glad you shared your burden, and I praise God i am blessed to read the humbly opinions from our sisters and brothers here for you.
May God be magnified and His presence abiding in us.
God's honor,ladyhumble
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Permalink Reply by kolawole omolara dasola on
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I would advise you to introduce him to christ as much as possible and if he doesnt respond,I think its best you walk away since the bible advises us not to be unequally yolked with unbelievers.it is only the holy spirit that can change his heart.
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Permalink Reply by Nora on
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Wow, you sound like me when I was in that situation. Not a nice place to be, I know. I felt the same, but I couldn't let go. God told me and told me, and family told me to let go, but I didn't. Now I'm married to someone, God didn't want me with.
Anyway, you said you are not together, have you had the emotional ties broken? As this can add to your battle. If you had them broken, you can see clearer as to what God really wants for you. Ask at your pastor or church counselor to go through the prayer with you to break the emotional ties.
And to answer your question: 'does it matter to have sex a week or 1 day before marriage?' Yes it does matter. The bible states that it is a sin to have sex if you are unmarried.
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Permalink Reply by Quila on
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I would say the same thing..Just pray about it..But if he doesnt wanna be with u because of sex...Let it Go..God has better plans for your life..Trust in God and Keep praying..God Bless
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Permalink Reply by Theresa on
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Dear Amanda,
You are so valuable and precious to God and God loves you so much and He wants the best for you in this life, in spite of all the pain and suffering and temptations, Jesus says that He will never leave you nor forsake you, keep your eyes and mind on Christ and His word and I promise you that you will never be a looser or miss out on anything good.
Do not be afraid to say NO, your fiancee is not going to die if he did not have sex, this is bunch of cheap bologne, do not give in to his smooth words or any of his actions. Do what God wants you to do and do what is right for you, you can not love your fiancee if you do not love yourself, you are precious to Jesus!
Jesus says: Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus is saying to you my dear precious sister, do not cheapen yourself, do not hate yourself, you are so valuable and loved by God Almighty through what Jesus did on the cross.
I love you and you have been in my prayers, you will do what God desire of you in Jesus name!
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