How can we be sure that he/she is the right person?

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Permalink Reply by Blue sapphire on August 4, 2009 at 5:25pm

Well......God has the perfect mate for you....His choice is the best one......so give it time my friend....avoid fornication as the bible tells us......and let the spiritual foundation develop.

Three years is a good foundation for a marriage that could go for 50 years.....don't you think.

Get the spiritual foundation right first......this is what your marriage will survive on.

If this person is not right for you God will lead you in these first years......hope this helps.

And enjoy the journey.....God wants to take you on....

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Permalink Reply by Graham Vayro on September 25, 2009 at 9:38pm

I dont think you can change another person. "isnt the spiritual type" They can only change if they choose to. It is very difficult to see the real situation through the haze of romantic love. A Christian counsellor would be able to help by giving each of you an unbiased viewpoint of the potential future. It is not possible to base a solid relationship on changing yourself (or your faith) to make you more 'acceptable' to the other person. Pray for guidance and seek a counsellor you both respect.

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Permalink Reply by Gayla on August 5, 2009 at 11:10am

This is the most important discision you will ever make, apart from accepting Jesus as your Savior and Lord. I urge caution.... in this area, as marriages are breaking up at the rate of 1 in 2, in the US, not sure about your country.

Much prayer..... and fasting too...... seeking Gods answer.

Before making a commitment.

God can answer you. And it is very important to him, what you do.

He can and will confirm his will, if you give him time. and ask for it.

Perhaps also, working thru some marriage preparation seminars ???

There should be several available, if you will seek them out.

They will help you to see areas of concern that you may not have thought about, and your financee needs to work thru them with you.

As for her not being a virgin, if you are willing to accept that and you seem to be, and if she has taken it to God, then, it should be between the two of you. ,

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Permalink Reply by Blue sapphire on August 6, 2009 at 6:49am

Are you a sinner.....have you been forgiven.....if so.... why can't she be forgiven .....if she repents and seeks forgiveness from her Saviour.

Why do you need to make a decision right now.....isn't time on your side... when you wait.

If there is uncertainity.....be patient and wait on the LORD.

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Permalink Reply by Carla on August 6, 2009 at 7:44am

Dear Stanley,

I am in an unequally yoked marriage. When I got married we both were in a state of apathy regarding spiritual matters. Since then my husband has grown into a full grown athiest, and I have become a born again believer..Jesus got ahold of me! I DO NOT RECOMMEND AN UNEQUALLY YOKED MARRIAGE! PLEASE RUN FROM THAT! You can avoid it now before taking that step into a pit!

2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

There are just a few things I want to suggest here..to add to the wonderful advice you have already received from others.

First of all.. you are going to do what you want to do, unless you surrender to Jesus. If you are not surrendered, you are going to make a choice to meet your own ends...which is always detrimental to us...Every person struggles with this, it is a form of Pride. Admit your need for God. It is written...Mat 5:3 "God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.

Second, you mention your culture..IT is the right choice to not indulge in premarital relations...but make sure your motivation for doing the right thing is properly placed...Fear God! Not man! I am not saying to be afraid of God...but it is written Psa 111:10 The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do [his commandments]: his praise endureth for ever.

Third...you say she is not a virgin... I believe someone else responded on this. Does she realize she has sinned against God? This is not a part of the conversation we can have unless she is a part of it. Otherwise, we are just talking about her. You need to talk to God directly regarding this. Remember, when we judge others, we are only judging ourselves.
IT is written 1Cr 6:18 Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. As a Christ follower you are to do the right thing...no matter what. Do not cause another person to fall into sin... Gal 6:1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.

Dear brother.. I hope this helps you. Remember we are each accountable to God. Be careful to not try to justify your actions by seeking man's approval.
~Carla

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Permalink Reply by Carla on August 10, 2009 at 7:21am

Hi Stanley.

I can see that you truly care for her well-being.

I really believe that this is something you need to pray about.

I think you should also ask the advice of your parents. God gave us parents for a reason. :) What they say may surprise you. I also think you should be completely honest with them. This is not an easy situation...and you are going to need family support. Remember you are not her Savior...Jesus is!

My personal opinion is that you should back off an intimate realtionship with her...but maintain a friendship and strengthen any trust that she already has in you. Let her know how much God loves her. Does she come to church with you? You also need to check your own personal realtionship with Jesus....Is it where you want it to be?

God be with you.
~Carla

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Permalink Reply by Carla on August 13, 2009 at 7:18am

Stanley,

You have to ultimately make your own choices.... I can't make them for you. You are accountable. I am giving you the biblical response regarding intimate premarital relations. This is something that you have to pray about ...and be accountable for how you respond to what God is leading you to. God will never lead you to do something that goes against His Word.

You can't stand up for any convictions you do not have. If you desire to have those convictions....only God can empower you to do His Will.

Love in Christ, Carla

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