The net. emergency room

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Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on May 16, 2009 at 2:29am

I really pray that he will get a chance to see the Fire Proof Movie as well as you. this could be the key to save your marraige as it has been used in a wonderful way already. there might even be churches in your area who are showing it.

I pray for you and your family that God will bring your husband back home and that there would be a reconciliationand a healing come forth in jesus name amen.


Love always hopes, so keep hoping and trusting in the Lord. I have been stankding for 3 years for the restoration of my own marraige. I just keep trusting the Lord and finding his grace day by day.

In the love of Jesus
bob

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on August 1, 2009 at 4:15am

Hi Sister, i am Bob, I started this group over 2 years back because I wanted to provide a place where people like yourself could find some support. I have been separated from my wife for 3 years. I have had to take it one day at a time and spend my time building my relationship with God. My wife filed for divorce finally last week. I am not throwing in the towel yet because I believe love always hopes until there is no more hope. She has been backslidden for so long, and has been involved with horrible things I do not want to even think about. one year after our separation I moved back to my house in a separate apartment so i would be in my daughter's life more, it was worth it to see my daughter graduate with honors from high school this past June. I see her most every day.

I have learned so much along this path that was not the one I would have chosen, but God has been with me all along the way and I know He is with you.

Your husband's actions, and attitudes toward you are just like Adam when he was confronted with his sin, Adam struck out at Eve and God, blaming them for his sin. Until your husband stops blaming others and takes responsibility for his own failure, he will not find relief from the guilt that is in his heart. It is not your fault what has happened, he has made some wrong choices that has got him into the situation he is in with his family.

You are a wise woman to keep dealing with your own heart during this time with the Lord so that bitterness does not get into your heart. I know the deep pain you are facing is something you have to deal with each day.

Please read through the comments in this group, there is a lot of wisdom. You are not alone, you have the Lord and your brothers and sister in Christ who will pray with you and support you during this difficult time. Also read through my blogs which are just lessons God has been teaching me along the way.

In the love of Jesus
Bob

Permalink Reply by Karin Franklin on August 3, 2009 at 9:01am

I am in need of an emergency....my husband and I had been seperated for 6 mos and he was seeing another..then one day he ask'd me to hekp him with this very comp..well one thing lead to another and we were talking then he convinced me he loved me and needed me and I came back now he is staying with that woman and has been there all night.....he even told me it was to late now and that he doesnt really love me it was just a mistake..I had the divorce paper's drawn up but since I gave everythink up to stay here I am now out of funds to leave or pursue the divorce,when I tell him I want to leave he just coldly ask's were you gonna go...I know God has plans for me and that he doesnt wqant me going through this..

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on August 5, 2009 at 4:17am

Karen I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am in a very similar situation myself. God will guide you through this mind field so it doesn't destroy you in the process. Take it one day at a time and continue to seek out support from others.

Father God You know the situation that Karin is in, you know the awful hurt of infidelity, you know the hurt of betrayal. Father it would be much easier for us just to strike out and demand them to pay for hurting us, but we need to follow your example and forgive them. Father right now flood Karin's soul with a peace that passes all understanding, help her to have a clear head and lead her to those who will giver her good council. In Jesus name amen.

In the love of Jesus
Bob

Permalink Reply by Karin Franklin on August 13, 2009 at 12:22pm

Thank you so much for that I thank God that he will and has lead me to those who will give me good council.I thank God that when we are going through the valley's it just means he has something great and new waiting on the mountain top.

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on August 13, 2009 at 4:54pm

Permalink Reply by Melanie Christine Brooks on September 12, 2009 at 10:32am

I am in need of an emergency. My husband has left and moved in with another women and filed for a divorce. To make a long story short this is not the first time he has left and moved in with another women,the diffence this time is I left him for 4 months and was convinced that it was over and he did not love me he hated me. This is where i get really confused he had an accident and could have died due to refusing medical attention,but his sister (which to my knowledge did and does not have alot to do with him) made him get the medical attention he needed,he ended up spending time in the hospital and reflected on the things that he has done to our family,he was very apoligetic and wanted his family more than anything.He apoligized over and over for the things he had done to me,I told him that he had apoligized and that was enough but I don't think I really acted that way. After he came home from the hospital I convinced him to move back to our house and I took him back and forth to work b/c he had no vehicle. He was a changed person, he wanted to go to church and just be with his family we made plans for the first time in along time. At this time our children and I continued to stay at my parents house due to me being afraid that it would all end. I tried to do the right thing,but from what i have been told he feels like I abandoned him at our house and wanted him to sit and wait on me and only wanted something to do with him when it was convient for me,he feels I keep our children away from him and that I don't love him. At the time I was not commented to making my marriage work. I really felt I tried to help him as much as I possibly could. He became distant and inpatient with our marriage after he got fired from his job,he was worried about money. At this point we ahd m oved back in with him. Then we got into an argument and I left,I continued to take him to and from work and spent time with him on the weekends. He kept aasking me what we were going to do about us that he wasn't going to wait forever,I kept responding with I don't know. I realize now that what I was doing was wrong to him and my children. We went out to eat with his boss and his family on a Friday night and the he met another women and he ignored my phone calls for a week then called me the next Friday and told me that we needed to talk about a divorce and he found someone else. He also told me that he didn't know if she was the person for him or not and that he wanted us to be friends. I asked if we could see him that weekend to work something out with the kids and so the kids could see him he told me that he would talk to me on the phone but would not see me because he did want to be around me because I would beg him back. I did not understand this because I had no intention of begging him back. I lost my temper a few days later and did things I truely am sorry for I was mad and hurt I felt cheated because I feel like I have been the one there for him trying to encourage him to be a better person and helping him and I feel like the other women is getting what I have been waiting for for 6 years. We talked the next week just about everyday and he refused to try and work on it. I called the other women and asked he to leave him alone that if he wanted a divorce he should come to that decision on his own,she told me that she would not that she has been through a divorce and that it would make it right between him and her when he filed for a divorce. he turned his phone off the very next day and got another phone number. The next week I recieved a text from his old phone stating that they wanted my children the next weekend and that they wanted our daughter on her bday. And that they were turning that phone off and that I could call this womens phone to talk to him,I had called he phone 2 days before and she wouldn't let me talk to him or he told her he did not want to talk to me. He filed for a divorce the following Friday. He called on that Sunday after he went to the attorney and filed and told me they had talked about it decided what we were going to do, they get married as soon as our divorce was final and that was it. This has been going on for almost 2 months and I am devasted. I have prayed to God for answers,the day I had to make the appointment with my attorney to respond to his filing I was very upset. I spent my lunch crying and praying to God for forgivenss. When I got back to work an total stranger approched me and tapped my wedding ring and asked where my husband was I was taken ba k by him and was hesitant to answer he told me he had intuition about these thing and told me to build my faith up in the lord and that it wasn't my fault, he then said that there was no such thing as love at first sight that you learn to love someone by the things you respect in them,he then asked if we had children I showed him a picture of my husband and children and he said something else but I wasn't paying attention and all I heard was someone to treat you well. Then the next weekend I was home after church reading the lord word and just opened the book and started reading I came to Micah chapter 7 and read the from 7 thru 11 "Therefore I will look unto the Lord;I will wait for the God of my salvation:my God will hear me. Rejoice not against me,O mine enemy:when I fall, I shall arise;when I sit in darkness,the lord shall be a light unto me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord,because I have sinned against him,until he plead my cause and execute judgement for me: he will bring me forth to the light,and I shall behold his righteousness. Then she that is mine enemy shall see it,and shame shall cover her which said unto me,Where is the Lord thy God? mine eyes shall behold her:now shall she be trodden down as the mire of the streets. In the day that thy walls are to be built,in that day shall the decree be removed."
Since then I have learned that she is the one that paid for him to file for a divorce and that he has quit his job and started working for her, she owns her own business. I have spoke with him and we had a really good conversation, I told him that there is nothing that he can do to make me stop loving him and he admitted to me that him living and being with her was wrong and that we both made mistakes. I asked him to really think about what he was doing before I hung up from talking to him. There are little things that he has said that make me think that he is starting to regret what he has done. Everytime I have talked to him he has asked me to please have the kids call him, this has tugged at my heart for a couple of weeks i don't understand why he can't call them,he refuses to see them except with around. He wants them to come to her house and spend the weekend,I refuse to let them go b/c I don't know her and they have never been around him with another women in that way. I don't feel its in the best interest of my children. He saays I am using them against him but I have told him that he could take them to his parents for the weekend and come see them at our house. Tha past 2 weeks he has mentioned about me having a boyfriend,which I don't but he seems stuck on it. He recieved me response to his filing which the attorney told me he did not have grounds for a divorce because he stated the reason for his filing was we have been seperated since October which was not true and that we do not have any assets to divide which is not true. I don't want a divorce so i couldn't counter with that response. He is upset with my response and I am afraid that this divorce is going to go through. I do not think it is what is best for my family and I don't believe that God's will is for divorce. i pray everyday that God turns his heart and brings him home. I love my husband and want to make things work so terribly bad,but I don 't know what to think, I left in October and was dealing with it had started to make plans for myself and my children then I feel God put him right back into my life, I don't feel he did it to make his will a divorce for us and destruction for my family,its getting hard everyday because of the other obstacles that I have been facing with this. I ask that you all pray for restoration of my marriage and for God to turn my husbands heart back to our marriage and family that love him unconditionally.

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on September 12, 2009 at 3:19pm

Hi Melanie,
You need to know that what your going through is a horrible thing for a woman or a man to go through. You started a family with the hope of growing old together with your spouse and having grandchildren.

Right now you are at a cross road and you can allow God to use it as a stepping stone, or it can become a stumbling block. You will find out what your really made of before this is over. It is one of those defining moments in our lives. We live in a fallen world and we are so vexed by society that dismisses God.

Your priority is your children at this time, I was lucky my children were older 15, 18, 21. I know this is the thing that hurts you the most, is seeing your children suffer. Children suffer the most and they have no control over the situation. God will give you grace to minister to them. Remember they need there father with all his faults and sins. Do what's best for them.

Your story is so much like so many others and the scriptures tell us that adultery and abandonment are grounds for divorce. Biblically a divorce is not final until one of the spouse remarries, then they can never return to their former marriage and the divorce is final.

God is with you and will help you day by day to find His wonderful grace and help in your time of need. It has been 3 years since my wife and myself separated and she just filed for divorce. She has chosen the world instead of her marriage and the Lord. God wants us to live in peace and not to be in turmoil with another person.

I still love my wife but the difference now is i am not appeasing her just to keep the peace, but am willing to love her like God does by holding her accountable for what she is doing by telling her the truth from God's word in-spite of where the chips fall.

Let me pray for you sister,
Father, you are the God who sees all things and you have seen what Melanie has been going through, you have captured her tears, you have seen her desperation to restore her family, you know that she values her family, she loves her children and even her adulterous husband. Father will you touch her heart right now and give her peace, help her to cast her cares upon you because you care about her. Father your love poured into her heart by the Holy Spirit will enable her to get through this without becoming better. Father give her a time of refreshing that comes from your presence. In Jesus name amen.

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