Jesus Praying Through Me

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Permalink Reply by Karen Maurer on November 21, 2008 at 6:21am

Dale,
I do understand that AWESOME PEACE, STRENGTH, WISDOM, JOY...that comes through me when I am in right standing and complete abandonment with JESUS. I lived ten years solidly walking in the SPIRIT and being used by HIM in almost every thing I did. I never felt HE wasn't right beside me, in me and working around and through me all the time.

Unfortunately, I say in the flesh, because I know GOD has a great lesson, teaching, and testimony for me when I get over this illness I picked up about six years ago and slowly fell away from reading the WORD after ten years of reading ten hours a day, from 4:30 a.m. until I had to do a few things around the house and get my boys off to school, went to work, witnessed the whole time, I was fortunate to work with Christians and the ones who weren't were interested in what I had to say, so my ministry continued even at work. I left home at 2:30 p.m. and got home at 8:30 p.m. just to curl up on the couch and get into HIS WORD more. I had such a hunger that I almost felt a kind of greed for wanting so much of HIM and of KNOWING HIM. The greed was a good greed, I realize now it was an enormous hunger the LORD had Blessed me with, from the day of conversion. A real 'Road to Damascus' experience.

But, I got ill anyway, and I told the LORD I would glorify HIM in all of it. It was a treatment I was going to start on and I knew it would make me very ill. But, I was sure I could keep my relationship strong, steadfast and ONE with HIM. I failed that test, and I suffer through the consequences of getting so far off track, but, I'm heading in the right direction.

Well, I got where I couldn't read or concentrate on what I was reading, so I put the t.v. evangelists, choosen ones of course, listened to the radio, because that was all my 85 pound weak body could do. I thought I could at least allow my spirit to be fed, even if I wasn't aware of what was going on. I was suppose to take the treatment for 48 weeks and I quit at 12 after losing most of my hair, weakness, depression, and begging the LORD to take me home. HE gave me a choice! He said I could continue on the treatments and HE would soon take me home or I could quit and live again!

I watched my husband walk around lost and sad, my son was afraid to leave the house because he didn't know if I would be there when he got back, my daughter's were afraid to call in the morning to hear the news of my condition. So, I quit the treatments, I love them and I want to be with them. I couldn't imagine my 17 year old son, as well as my 34, 28, daughter's and 23 year old son looking over my casket to say good-bye to me.

I took the very expensive meds back to the doctor, still sealed and told him to give them to someone who was having a hard time paying for them, that they were killing me...and the dr. agreed the treatment was too hard on me. So, there is no other cure for me in this, except eating well, exercising, drinking lots of water, but, the disease keeps me exhausted. I do one thing and have to sit down...and that is my routine everyday. I am very restless in waiting on the LORD to heal my energy level, but, there are things I have to do to accomplish that and I need energy to do them, it's like a 'catch 22,' kind of thing, but, I do know what LIVING WITH THE WORD and WALKING WITH HIM is like and I am trying with everything I know to remember from the basics of when HE first came and got me the first time and delivered me immediately from my sin. I'm just hoping and praying for another 'Road to Damascus,' experience, but, I believe obedience is the answer for this time around. I am much more mature and realize what I am getting into and HE isn't going to allow me to just skip in happy, happy, joy, free like last time. It was so easy before. But, there is a cost in following JESUS CHRIST and we all have a cross to bear and carry. Please pray for me. Thanks

So, I'll never quit on JESUS because I know HE will never quit on me.

Don, thanks for your story, it excites me when I hear of the LORD working like that; It's great encouragement and gives me more determination to seek, knock and wait on the LORD. I know HE'S COMING!

Peace in our LORD AND SAVIOR,

Karen...><>...