All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
When is it time to give up on waiting for God?
I'm really struggling and need some answers. My husband left me and our three girls over 3 years ago to pursue a relationship with another man. It has been horrible, espicially since I believed this man was such an amazing man of God. He introduced my children to the other person days after moving in with him. He has since moved out and lives alone in his own apartment, but still has contact with him (although I don't know how much or what the relationship is now). He asks me to go out to eat with him and the girls a lot and because my oldest daughter doesn't trust him to not bring the other, I go so she and he will have some semblance of a relationship. He only sees them a few times a week, and never overnight. We still go to his family's for Thanksgiving (I go because it isn't fair to take that away from my children and I will not be away from them on a holiday). His family (other than three people)do not know, but the ones that do believe he is wrong too.
All this to say, I believe with all of my heart God has told me He would bring him home. I love my husband (we are not divorced, nor are we legally separated by the way), but I hate him too (or at least this new person he has become). I am willing to work through this with him, but he has to repent first. He sees nothing wrong in what he has done, except he never should have married me. I have trusted in the Word of God; I have claimed the verses; I have waited; I have prayed; I have never once let the wave of depression completely overtake me. But I'm tired...I'm weary...I'm discouraged...and I do not want to have to wait 40 years or 99 years to see Him move. When do I just say I was wrong. I didn't hear him? He doesn't want this marriage to survive and just go ahead and file the papers and be done with it.
All this to say, I believe with all of my heart God has told me He would bring him home. I love my husband (we are not divorced, nor are we legally separated by the way), but I hate him too (or at least this new person he has become). I am willing to work through this with him, but he has to repent first. He sees nothing wrong in what he has done, except he never should have married me. I have trusted in the Word of God; I have claimed the verses; I have waited; I have prayed; I have never once let the wave of depression completely overtake me. But I'm tired...I'm weary...I'm discouraged...and I do not want to have to wait 40 years or 99 years to see Him move. When do I just say I was wrong. I didn't hear him? He doesn't want this marriage to survive and just go ahead and file the papers and be done with it.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kim Dupee on
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i am so sorry for what you are going through. if god meant for your marriage to end i feel he will tell you when it is the right time to file for a divorce. May God be with you and your family.
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Permalink Reply by journeyman on
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Dear Angie; Never give up on God. God never gives up on us. You have come to a web site where many will witness to God's eternal Love for us. Tell me... when you are alone and probably crying and praying you must have faith. I will witness to God being right there with you. I know because I've heard his voice speak to me when I've been at my most utterly lost moment. We must listen for God and not listen to our emotions. My heart reaches to you and I am so moved by your testimony. We are all sinners. Your husband must repent but it has to happen in God's time not ours. Pray for him to hear of God's Love for him. When you are at that empty drained emotion point. A space is created for you to let your Love for God take God's hand and listen to his guidance. My story is not like yours but, like yours I was desperately seeking the Father. God is right there for us. The clutter of our lives must be set aside so we can accept and follow his word.
Remember, Hebrews 13:5: “For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.’”
Patience is a grace filled blessing. May God Bless you dear friend.
journeymanhd
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Permalink Reply by eve on
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Dear sis,
Don't give up..... For he is blinded by satan's temptaton....
Continue to pray for him & love him. For he be touched by your love & come back to u... Believe in GOD...
His grace will touched your husband & turn him around.....
Have faith sis, hang on to GOD's every words, act on his words ...For his words is the truth, his promise is never empty, his love is unfailing...
For I too am going thru' the same path, my husband's infidelity, but I firmly believe GOD will restored all marriages of every standing spouses.
James 1:12, God bless the people who patiently endure testing, afterwards they will receive the "CROWN" of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Lean on to GOD for strength, we make it through..... !
Let's stand together to our marriage healing, remembered & uphold those marriage vows we taken till "death do us apart".
GOD BLESS.....eve
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Permalink Reply by Deborah Sue Schenfeld on
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I'm so sorry for all the suffering & trama you & the girls are going through. It must be so hurtful to you who loves him. All I can say for sure is that God is pleased with your faith & hope and drawing near to Him. The god of this age, (Satan) has blinded your husband's eyes. God Almighty will continue to deal with him & try to turn him around, bring people accross his path & speak in that still small voice.
I believe God did speak to you, but I'm sure the discouragement & sorrow are overwhelming at times. Your seeing your husband hardened in this ungodly lifestyle must cause you a lot of grief. It's not that God doesn't want your marriage to survive & be healed, He does. He doesn't take away a man's free will. Do you have a good church family? Have you thought about going to counselling with a pastor or a godly couple you trust? It's nice that you take the girls to see their grandparents, but YOU need support too! I'll pray that the Lord send you real friends who can pray with you, who you can open up to. There are wonderful people on this site who will be your friends, but it's nice to have a close shoulder to cry on. Bless you dear! God does love you & hear your prayers.
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Thank u sis Deb,
Amen... For it was really GOD Love & Grace who had touched & pulled me through these difficult period.
For I am learning to entrust & unload totally all my burdens to him & by focusing in Him only. We can then drive away all anxiety, fears, doubts & worries. He had me won by His unrelentless Patient, Love, Faithfulness. Because this, it further increase & cement my faith in Him.
Thus I am thankful to Him for this trial. For He had me realized & reflected about my selfish, self-centred past. For I had only lived for myself in the past.
I know right now, He is transforming me to become a wife He wanted me to be. By following his words closely, he is teaching me about true meaning of foregiveness, love, appreciation, patient & kindness.
No doubt, it's really tormented & hurting....
But with GOD, I believe He will touched my husband's heart, restore & bless my marriage. For His words never lie.
"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later." Romans 8:18
Dear sis, let us also pray for every other woman or man standing for the restoration of their marriage right now. For I believe GOD will heal their marriage.
God Bless....eve
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Permalink Reply by Angie Gibson on
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Hi everyone. Thank you for your comments. I do have wonderful friends here, but it has been three years and after awhile people stop supporting and start thinking you are nuts and delusional (which I am beginning to think myself). I've even had one of my pastors say it has been three years, so it's time to morne and get over it. So, I don't really talk much about it. I just keep wondering if there is ever a time when God wants there to be a divorce; that he doesn't want the family to survive. I question whether I interpret the Bible wrong-if there are so many who decide they are gay, then am I wrong and it is okay with God. I just don't think that even sounds right. I don't want to give up, but I don't have the strength to fight satan anymore.
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Hang on dear sis,
Never give up!
We'll make it thru'..... Believe in GOD, cling on to it's words.
For his promises' never empty.
Through it is painful & miserable....
But with faith, we'll survive & be stronger. I'm sure!
GOD BE WITH U...eve
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Permalink Reply by Ting on
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Good day to everyone... I just joined group and I believe that the Lord had led me to this page so I would know the hurt I'm causing my wife.... and now it's the time for me to take the right path... back to the person I vowed to love and to cherish... I have been unfaithful to my wife and already brewing plans to move out... We already had initial discussions and arrangements for the kids... All discussions end with a prayer but my heart was hardened by my desire to be with the other person... not until now.... The Lord spoke to me through your words... I felt the same love I had for her the day I first met her seven years ago... I thank the Lord! Thank you guys!
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Thanks Bro Ting,
Amen to GOD Grace.
Cherish your wife as u'll love yourself....!
I am sure your wife will be welcome you with open arms.
GOD Bless U.... eve
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Thank you for sharing that with me. One of my hopes has been that God would be please with me and glorified. And He has been. You give me hope that no one is out of reach even when their heart is hardened. I will pray for you and your family that you will be able to reach past the hurt and find that God has breathed new life into your marriage. Angie
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Permalink Reply by n1ck0l3man on
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Angie,
God has promised that he would never leave us or forsake us. God has made it clear that when we go through struggles that he too grieves. I am so sorry for your loss and I will be praying for you, your family, and most definitely your husband. He is obviously away from God and he either no longer cares what the Bible says or perhaps it is like what is written in Romans 1:22-28:
"Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient"
All I can offer is what the scripture says and pray. I do not claim to know what your going through, nor do I have sufficient knowledge or wisdom to truly offer the advice that I wish I could. The Holy Spirit is our comforter and will help heal our wounds from life over time if we fully give the issue over to the Lord. I do want to encourage you to continue to fight the good fight. Remember that there is more to this world than the physical. The devil is taking a hold of our country and people one at a time, pushing harder than ever to make Christians fail. God has never put me through something I could not handle and he has never made me go through something without a good reason. With that being said maybe God will be able to use your testimony to draw your husband back to him like in Hosea. I can only imagine the testimony you will be able to have and the encouragement you will be able to give to the countless other women that are going through this as well.
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That is what I keep hoping for. Just when I am about to give up, I remember something a friend told me. What if you give up today and God tells you tomorrow he only needed one more day. If you had just held on. That is brought to my mind everytime I say I'm done. I just can't give up. God will not let me. But that doesn't mean I am not tired of it all and just want God to get on with it. I really don't understand this whole God can do anything vs. free will. He could work in his heart and soften it, nothing is impossible for Him, yet free will....
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