Needing encouragement.

Hello all. My name is Chrissie. I'm 29 years old and I'm in need of some encouragement and prayer.

First, let me tell you a story.

When I was very young I was devout in my beliefs. I knew God existed and I never questioned it. I loved attending church and my Bible school lessons. I stood up for what I believed in. I even remember being punched in the stomach one time for sticking to my beliefs against a young man who told me that God was no different than Santa Claus, and just as fake. Though my stomach hurt, I knew I had done the right thing.
As I got older things started to change. Children at school started to pick on me because we didn't have a lot of money, and I was a bit eccentric. My mom found a boyfriend (my mom was single as I was growing up) and it seemed she found more pleasure in this new man than with me. I was pawned off on relatives regularly who never treated me quite as well as their own children. I fell into drug abuse, alcoholism, and the occult.

I've lied and cheated on a husband who has divorced me. A hole filled my heart.

More recently I've rededicated my life to God. I've been reading my Bible and have been teaching my nearly two year old son to pray. I talk to God daily. I feel that I have been tested, and while I failed that test, God has brought me back to him and I plan on staying.

I'm having a hard time dealing with my past sin. It's hard for me to believe I was that person. That I had turned from God for any amount of time. That I had used drugs, alcohol, and sex as solace for a grief that only God could fill. Instead of turning to him, I turned away from him.

I need some encouragement if you have it to give. Something to keep me going. I have very little people to talk to at this point in my life as we moved away from where I grew up a few years ago and I've had a hard time making new friends.

Thank you and God Bless,
Chrissie