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how do we deal with disobedient children. well when i say children i mean between 19-23 - so more adults i guess who have not grown up.

I have 2 in my family, my brother and my cousin. My cousin has recently lost his dad and it seems like its opened doors to do as he pleases. doesn't want to work or take responsibility. Goes out to all hours af the morning. doesnt listen to his mother, who is finding it really difficult to come to terms with her husbands loss let alone try to instill discipline. He is 19 and maybe his fathers death has been difficult on him; and this is how he expresses anger. but this behaviour seems to have begun when he was in matric; when his dad was still around

My brother on the other hand has not faced a tragedy of this sort in his life but also feels no need to take responsibilty. He doesnt work, my parents have given him everything from cars to businesses all of which he has failed at because he doesnt manage it well. he also goes out every weekend, hardly attends church, has a terrible attitude. He is 23 and i wonder what can be done to change him now.

any advice on how we can impact the lives of these 2 individuals?

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Thanks Rick - it's really difficult.
I like what you say - "DO NOT BECOME AN ENABLER"
you are right - i shouldnt want to change them
I guess it would be too many scriptures to put on your page, so here they are:
PROV. 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go & when he is old, he will not depart from it."

PSALMS 34:22 "The Lord redeemeth the soul of His servants & none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate."

PHIL. 4:6 "Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made unto God."

JOS. 24:15 "..but as for me & my house, we will serve the Lord."

ROM. 4:17 "...but God, who calleth those things which be not, as though they were.."

PSALMS 144:12 "That our sons be as trees grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace.."
Natashia,
I understand your frustration. It's so hard to watch young people making bad choices that will effect their lives & relationships negativly down the line. If they have been trainned up in the ways of the Lord we have the promise in the Word, that when they are old, they will not depart from it. The only problem with that, is so many of us made mistakes ourselves as young parents because we were so busy with life.
My brother is right, prayer is the best answer. God can redeem our mistakes! Sometimes we have to give our grown kids the 'gift' of struggle. Harping on their ways & critizing, just seems to make things worse. Then again, you have to hold firm to your standards. Don't be afraid to say, "That attitude & behavior isn't acceptable in my house. I love you. The door is always open, if you need to talk to me, but you need to show respect for the God I serve!"
Get together with other believers and pray positive scriptures over your young people. Call those things that are not, into being. (I can't find the scripture I'm looking for right now, I'll put it on your page later.) For Example: "That our sons may be as trees, grown up in their youth...that our daughters may be as pillars in the temple of our God...happy are those people who's God is the Lord!"
(Ask the Lord for specific things to pray, but I will look up the ones I've used.) These boys are blessed to have a caring relative like you to pray for them!

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