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Coming back to Jesus Christ

So i was raised in a Christian house hold was saved at the age of 12. I lived right for god for a few years then began to backslide. I've lived in sin for 15 years. In that time i met my wife and we got married and have a beautiful daughter and one on the way. Recently God through the holy spirit had delt with my heart and i knew i had to come back to Jesus and live right for God and thats what i did. Now im a believer but my wife isn't, its an uphill battle for me everyday. I pray like 20 times a day and read my bible constantly. She gets mad at me and says i wish you'd put as much love and effort into your marriage as you do that book. I try to witness and not be condemning or judgemental but everything i say just comes out wrong. To be honest i dont know why im saying all this i guess im trying to find help and comfort from fellow Christians and seek out God's word. Thanks for listening

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on July 12, 2015 at 12:32pm

Amen on your return to the Lord. I'll be lifting your marriage up.

Permalink Reply by stephen on July 12, 2015 at 12:56pm

Congratulations on your return to the Lord. Im glad that you are putting the Lord first in your life, brother. Don't ever take let Him drop down to number 2 in your life. But please listen to the cries of your wife also. I don't know the whole situation but it sounds like your wife is crying out for your attention. Give your wife that attention that she needs and trust in the Lord to work on her heart. Continue to be the light that shines in the darkness. I will pray for you Brother. 

Father I lift up my Brother in prayer. I ask that you draw his wife to you Lord. Soften her heart as only You can. I pray that we will trust in you even when it seems like things are not going the way we want them too. I plead the Blood of Jesus over this family and ask you to make yourself known to Matthews wife. In your precious sons name Jesus Christ. Amen and All Glory to God

Permalink Reply by Matthew on July 12, 2015 at 1:09pm
Thank you i appreciate the prayers...here's what im not understanding, since I've made my change and she refuses to be open minded at least a little bit how do we connect again since all's i want is to talk about jesus or avoiding sin, reading the bible etc. Wheres the common ground at now? Idk what to do anymore?!? But i pray and ask god for the divine wisdom and the holy spirit to intervene...but it feels like im sinning by watch the same old tv shows and whatnot with her.
Permalink Reply by stephen on July 12, 2015 at 1:15pm

I understand your excitement in wanting to share your relationship with your wife. Trust me! I do know. But it can come off as trying to shove our beliefs down someone else throats. Before we were saved we didn't want people to shove it down our throats. Just continue to live your life for the Lord and do what is commanded of us. But don't try to push it on your wife. It will only push her further away. Trust me. I know. I also know how hard it is not to do this when we have realized the truth. But remember that only God can change her heart. Lead by example and let her see the change that its making in your life. Let God change and soften her heart. This is part of giving all your worries to Him to handle.

Permalink Reply by JB on July 12, 2015 at 4:26pm

Bro. Stephen, I say amen, Too many times we try to change the other person, but the change must come by the work of Holy Spirit.

Mathew, you might be the only Jesus "Christ" she will ever see, by you living the life of Christ will draw her to him; then to you. Don't try to do the work of the Holy Spirit, just let your life reflect the life of Christ.

JB  

Permalink Reply by stephen on July 12, 2015 at 4:35pm

Trust me! I have been very guilty of this myself. I still catch myself doing it at times with my estranged wife. When we find our faith and see the truth all we want to do is share that faith with our loved ones. We go overboard at times and it makes us look crazy. You can put God first in your life, but don't have to take it to the extremes. We can never worship or seek the Lord enough so please understand what I mean by extreme. Just live your life for the Lord and hear your wife crying out for your attention. Let her see the change its making in you and she will start to respect your faith. I will pray for you brother. I am glad to see that you are seeking out the Lord with your whole heart. It took me losing my wife again to bring me back to the Lord. Now Im standing on His word praying for the restoration of my marriage. Don't push your wife away. Just pray for her and be the Light that will shine in the darkness. And don't give up if things get worse. Sometimes our light convicts people. But remember its the Holy spirit who convicts through our light. Not us. 

Permalink Reply by Tammy on July 13, 2015 at 11:14am

Amen to all Stephen has said here. Also, think of things you talked about before you returned to the Lord. There has to be something that connects the two of you. You are one heart. You share many things. You are to love her as Christ loves His church. He's called you to meet this need she has. Me & my husband are both Christians but we don't sit around & just talk about the Lord. Think of something that brings joy to the both of you. Your children, grandchildren, places to go, etc. Surely there has to be something. 

Permalink Reply by Carla on July 13, 2015 at 6:19am

Amen Stephen. 

Matthew, in regards to watching TV shows with your wife there are two ways you could look at it.

1) you're meeting her where she is, and showing her that you care about the things she's interested in.

2) since you're in a stage of intense growth (a babe In Christ) you may be susceptible to bad images clouding your thoughts and influencing your choices.

I've been there... 

I am unequally yoked also.  I returned to the Lord in 2006, my husband didn't.

God healed my marriage, and HE can heal yours too. 

There are things you can do with your wife to encourage closeness and intimacy which won't compromise your new faith.

~Take her out for date night.  This could be different things, it doesn't have to cost money.  What did you both like to do when you first met?  Walks in the park, bike rides, picnic, call some friends and have them over for dinner (this can be hard since old friends may not understand your new faith either)

~Ask her what she wants to do.

~Set your time with the Lord away from distraction, and at a time when it won't interfere with family time.  She will possibly see all your time with God as interference, so you must be discerning in this.  Early morning while everyone is asleep typically works best.  Remember, the Lord is always with you.  You can talk to Him quietly to yourself all day long.  You do need to have your personal time to connect with Him intimately, but the connection is constant anyway.  Soon you'll understand what I mean by this if you don't already.

~Tell her you love her, and apologize for not showing it in a way that she understands.  Ask her what she wants you to do.  She may say to stop reading the bible, when she does don't address that, because she probably won't understand that is not an option.  Just reassure her that your love for God will only intensify the love you have for her.  Be careful in how you say this because she may interpret you to be patronizing. 

~Remember, this is a Spiritual Battle.  In unequally yoked marriage situations this is what is supposed to happen according to God's word.  You're right on track.  You will begin to see the importance of praying through every circumstance as you grow and learn.  Lean on the Lord for everything.  She will see the difference in you, and she might even grieve a loss of what she once knew...but the differences she will see in you will be better than the old things she is familiar with, and she will appreciate your love and grace and understanding which can only come from knowing the Lord.

My husband has not come to the Lord YET. But he appreciates and respects how I live.  I know this because he has told me so.  All of my husband's preconceived ideas of what it means to be a Christian have been altered, and even though he hasn't come to the Lord himself, he understands the difference between a personal relationship with God, and 'religion'.  I believe this will eventually lead him to see that Jesus is actually who HE says He is, and that HE is alive and well, and living and working through all the people who trust in Him.

Study and pray about Ephesians chapter 6.  God may bring you through an intensive training and understanding of spiritual warfare and what's happening in your marriage.

You are no longer controlled by your sin nature, submit to God and let her see what it means to actually begin to stop sinning.  She may be threatened by this.  Stay humble and let her know that it is nothing you are accomplishing in your own strength, or by your own means.  Overcoming sin is something only God can do. 

THIS IS IMPORTANT:  DO NOT JUDGE HER SIN.  SHE DOES NOT KNOW THE LORD.

Remember, the process of sanctification (being made new) is lifelong....it's a steady growth into who God intended us to be.  God's purpose and plan for us is that we will grow into the image of His Son, Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.  In Christ you are an overcomer. 

Blessings, Carla

Permalink Reply by stephen on July 12, 2015 at 4:38pm

I sent you a friend request if you ever need me to lift you up in prayer or just someone to talk too. @Matthew. I sent you one also JB

Permalink Reply by Mary O on July 13, 2015 at 7:03am

Hi Matthew, God bless you,

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)

My Gary called me last Friday. We were married in 1975. He asked me for a date. We went for supper together.

Once he butterflied a steak for me. Do you know what that is? It's no folding. You take a round steak and start gently cutting on the edge until you have cut it in half and open it like a butterfly. You fill the center with a stuffing. If you're Gary, you make stove top stuffing. Then you roll up the steak and tie it together or figure out how to keep it together. He did okay. Then he baked it. It was a holiday, and I got stuck working. I came home and was frazzled. He had butterflied a steak for me. That was our second year of marriage. You can see how it affected me. I've never forgotten it. Then he gave me a little "I love you" sucker he had found and we promptly demolished first. LOL

We are to love each other deeply.

Love,

Mary

Permalink Reply by Carla on July 13, 2015 at 7:15am

Amen sweet Mary.  Beautifully said.

Permalink Reply by Mary O on July 13, 2015 at 11:25am

Marriage has been on my mind.

There's some gorgeous words in Ephesians 5 about men  nourishing and cherishing their wives and loving them as Christ loved the church. Those words really hit home once. We had this accident. Right before we hit, Gary leaned himself in front of me and tried to shield me from the accident. I remember he said...We're going to hit. Of course he couldn't completely shield me. How many times do we read those words...as Christ loved the Church? He loved her so much He gave Himself for her. He died for all of us He loved us so much. Maybe I have an example because I'm the age of dirt. LOL Never mind how old I am. I pray that no one else here ever has an example. One example is enough. Husbands are to love wives as Christ loved the church.

My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. (Song of Solomon 2:16 KJV)

That doesn't mean Gary and I don't annoy each other once in a while. Him and his cousin tried to paint I forget what green in the living room and work on an alternator in the dining room. A personal favorite of mine.

Love,

Mary

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