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What are the real deeper earmarks of a true Christian?

I know we've spoken on the fruits of the Spirit and various things that define a Christian, but how about a bit deeper...what are the real defining earmarks?  Since we have Christians who are babies, those who are young men, those who are old men, each in a different area of growth, how would we define a true Christian?  A baby Christian may not display enough fruit that one could even see unless they lived with that person.  A mature Christian may still display some bad behaviors while everything else has changed as they are still failing in a particular area.  So if we're judging by fruits alone and do not know where a person is in their walk, how do we judge? 

The main earmark is love.  If we have not love then Christ is not in us.  But how does one define love?  If a man loves his wife and yet gets angry over something she does to hurt him, yet he remains and tries to work it out...because he got angry, did that mean he didn't love her?  He may not have loved what she did for good reason.  Our kids do things we don't like and we punish them, but we don't stop loving them.  So by this we can see that even Christians can get angry at one another.  So by that...how do we determine if they love?

So many question their own salvation and/or the salvation of others because they don't see what they define as fruit or love.  I went through the questions because I wasn't seeing growth, even though others were assuring me they saw growth.  I couldn't understand what it was they were seeing then.  And it may have been because I did get hurt when people hurt me, I had angry thoughts, sometimes I even spoke back out of hurt, but I didn't stop caring about them.  I was also led to believe fruits were to have perfect patience, always have a smile on your face regardless of what was happening in your life, go out of your way for everyone while denying your own basic needs if need be, etc.  And there are some who do those things after many many years of being trained by the Holy Spirit.  But for those yet untrained...how would you assure them that they're a Christian?  How would we honestly judge another?

All through scripture, love is the main theme, but when we question if we love or if another is showing love, how can we know?  There is also if you remain in His Word, and other scriptures to the same idea that show we have to abide in the Word to grow.  Therefore, is it possible to have love planted in our hearts but need to learn how to express it better since we've been taught so wrong for so many years? 

I had an evangelist pray over me not too long ago that God was healing me from the inside out and I've not felt really healed in years.  But lately, I can feel more and more is being healed than ever before.  Yet for several years I was in that torment of not really knowing, questioning, feeling condemned over scriptures describing behaviors I hadn't attained despite all efforts to do so and all desire to want to.  I'm actually coming to a place where I can even see some good of the situations of people who've hurt me and where I have a concern to pray for them more so than pray about the hurts they've caused.  But in those years before, it caused a lot of inner turmoil because we all have the scriptures to tell us what a Christian should look like, but not always the wisdom to apply it appropriately. 

So I'm just wanting to get your thoughts on how you would determine someone's Christianity, or even your own, regardless of what age one is to Christianity and what level their walk is. 

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on October 22, 2014 at 10:45pm
Amen. I know my love isn't enough either but it is growing and God is pursuing me. I'm not even sure how to be a living sacrifice or how to become what God wants me to be. But I certainly am seeking and pursuing these things. I feel I am meeting the amount in my present condition with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, as much as I possibly can but I know I have so much more to grow in love, in faith, in grace, in knowledge, in all. I long to be made perfect and to love God enough. I long for God to cause me to become all that He means for me to be.
Permalink Reply by thewatchman on October 22, 2014 at 9:45pm

"Yet how many times to Christians hurt others who trusted them, destroying that person's trust?"

"This, unfortunately is more the norm than the rarity. Somehow, in His wisdom, God has put us together in the body to grow. Sometimes church can seem more like an insane asylum, other times like a hospital. Yet, it is through this that God grows his Kingdom. If you will take a moment and think about every book from Romans to Jude, these are primarily written to correct sin, failure and conflict IN THE CHURCH. Yet, the church is God's primary instrument in the world to be salt, light and his living message in the world. This requires each of us to have some humility and accept that fact. Then, begin being the solution to what is broken within our own members - because scripture is clear that we are the church and the church is us. If it is broken, it is because we came in as broken people and made it so. "

Sadly this isn't the norm, to be the salt and the light is...but not to be broken people. 

Permalink Reply by Seek on October 22, 2014 at 10:26pm
Not sure what you mean. Are you saying that most Christians are being salt and light (encouraging one another and building each other up in the most holy faith)? That this is the norm among Christians today?

If that is what you mean then why do so many not experience that encouragement? Usually it's tearing down by placing burdens on them rather than encourage them to press in and grow into what God desires.
Permalink Reply by Tammy on October 23, 2014 at 2:34pm

I may be wrong but I believe she was saying the opposite. That unfortunately, the church isn't the salt & the light as they have been called to be.

Permalink Reply by Seek on October 24, 2014 at 4:53am
Well I hope she clarifies cause it doesn't seem any of us understand what she's trying to say.
Permalink Reply by ScribeD on October 23, 2014 at 10:03pm

sorry, but I don't understand what  you are saying here. If you are contradicting my statements, agreeing or saying something different. 

Permalink Reply by thewatchman on October 24, 2014 at 8:24pm

Sorry, I have little time during the week so forgive me for not responding promptly to your questions.  

First, I'd like to say that the "norm" is being the salt and the light in Christianity...there is no other "norm".  Just because very few are exhibiting this, doesn't mean that it has become the "norm" not to be the salt and the light.  It only means that God's word is coming to fruition.

I believe that we as followers of Christ will be the salt and the light....

 

Permalink Reply by Seek on October 25, 2014 at 11:27am
I like to question the part about the Word coming to fruition...If you're speaking of the last days...which many do these days. Even my own church is doing a series on The End Times right now. Every time people look towards the end I remember how they thought it was the end times in the New Testament and then I think of Nineveh. "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

I think Christians are often looking to the end times because we want taken out of this world and wickedness but that misses God's desire....to spread the Word. He desires that none should perish and the end will leave many to perish.
Permalink Reply by Seek on October 25, 2014 at 11:31am
This bothers me by the way. I think of my unsaved aunts, cousins, nephews, neighbors, friends. I've even felt the need to intercede for a former atheist co-worker. There are many who I would hate to see not make it to eternity but live in eternal torment.
Permalink Reply by thewatchman on October 25, 2014 at 7:14pm

I have two children who aren't saved....do you believe that I do not care about them???  I have co-workers & friends that I'm concerned about....fasting and prayer are definately important.  

I don't doubt that any Christian would like knowing anyone would die and go to hell.  We don't save anyone, tho, God does.  

We also must understand that there will be people who won't be saved, no matter what.  In fact, the Bible says that few will find the strait and narrow gate and wide is the road to destruction.

The best we can do is to live for the glory of God, and to love Him completely, this is what we are asked to do and this we shall do without complaint and with love.  Our purpose is to Glorify God, are we fulfilling our purpose?

Permalink Reply by thewatchman on October 25, 2014 at 6:57pm

Hi Seek,

The Word will come into fruition, whether we'd like it to or not.  But.....I wasn't talking about the end times, I was talking about how the Lord's word will be true.  

I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to be taken out of this world and all of it's wickedness.  I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to be with God for all of eternity.  But.....I wasn't talking about that either. I'm not sure if it's because you're studying the end times that you came to this conclusion about what I wrote or not, which I found quite a stretch from so very few words.  I doubt that you disagree that God's word is coming to fruition, it is Truth and it will prevail.  

Permalink Reply by Seek on October 25, 2014 at 7:19pm
I guess it's because of the word fruition...which signals the end of a goal.

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