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Someone asked me if things have gotten better since I've asked for prayer?

My life isn't awful.  I got my share of Blessings to be happy with.  And yet those good things are hard to remember when my negative emotions are over powering my mind.  I guess it's depression.  

Right now I'm feeling really confused about things.  Stuff is swimming around in my tired brain, and even though logically Life is no worse then it's been, on an emotional level I feel hopeless, burned out, inferior, stupid, dumb, messed up, worried, and I wonder if I'm blocking God with my sins.... 

I'm afraid to share with you guys this but I feel that I need to write it down somehow and somewhere.  I guess I might as well, write it here. 

To Be honest with you guys I don't think we Christians really know anything...  I listen to the Bible and I receive my impressions.  Then I go  to Church and I receive the preachers impressions. (Which is probably better then my impressions because He's a lot smarter then I am)  Then I go listen to a Christian book and I receive the writers Impressions.  All these Impressions make somewhat sense to me. 

One of the many conflicts in my brain is between what our pastor says about sin and what Jefferson Bethke says about Sin.  (Jefferson Bethke wrote the book "Jesus is Greater Than Religion")  I feel that both the Pastor and Jefferson is correct.  But I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. 

The contrast I see.  That is if you want to call it a contrast.  Is between God's Grace/Salvation depends on God/You don't work for your salvation so you shouldn't go around sinning on purpose but when you struggle God is right there with you.  Verses If you got sin in your Life it will Block God's Blessings.  At this point you might think our Preacher is one of those who thinks opposite to Jefferson.  But He doesn't because He believes in God's Grace "once saved always saved, nothing you can do to loose it"  (Really I don't know which side of that fence Jefferson would put Himself on, but judging by His ideas of Grace I'd say He's probably a once saved always saved guy)

Ok Enough about Jefferson verses the Preacher.  Let's get to the point here.  Sometimes I think I get overly concerned about my Sins.  Other times I think I'm not concerned enough.  Sunday I tried to examine of myself and ask the question "is there any sins in my life that could be blocking God"  The only thing I could come up with is in my thought life.  And who on earth doesn't struggle with that?!  ((shruggs)) 

The reason why I posted this as a prayer requests.  Because I don't expect you guys to have answers to some of these things.  But I know God does for sure.  So I'm asking once again for a little extra prayer that God will somehow Help me sort things out.

P.S.  These turmoils didn't just start by listening to Preachers, Teachers and other writers.  I'm sure many of you have read more, and heard more then I have.  These turmoils have been inside of me for almost as long as I can remember.  It's just that some of this exposure has a way of bringing up more.  Either way I haft to live with ME, and some of this is just the way my head operates. 

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MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU GOING UP, THANK YOU JESUS .

I'm just gonna answer you with scripture Gregory:

Which is probably better then my impressions because He's a lot smarter then I am

1 Corinthians 1:27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

Right now I'm feeling really confused about things.  Stuff is swimming around in my tired brain, and even though logically Life is no worse then it's been, on an emotional level I feel hopeless, burned out, inferior, stupid, dumb, messed up, worried, and I wonder if I'm blocking God with my sins....

Romans 7:15-24 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

To Be honest with you guys I don't think we Christians really know anything...  I listen to the Bible and I receive my impressions.  Then I go  to Church and I receive the preachers impressions. (Which is probably better then my impressions because He's a lot smarter then I am)  Then I go listen to a Christian book and I receive the writers Impressions.  All these Impressions make somewhat sense to me.

1 Corinthians 8 And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.

One of the many conflicts in my brain is between what our pastor says about sin and what Jefferson Bethke says about Sin. 

1 John 1:8-10 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

I just posted this in a discussion 30 minutes ago:  http://www.allaboutgod.net/forum/topics/god-or-the-devil?commentId=...

See that's something that bothered me for so long...sin.  Was it sinning to get upset at the driver who cut me off?  I still find myself sometimes speeding up a bit when the guy behind me whips out and revs it up to 90 just to cut back in between me and the car in front of me because they're so impatient.  And I start praying God help me to not let what others do upset me like that or that I not feel a need to speed up and stop him from jumping in there and just lay back and let him do whatever.  And I've always felt that was sin.  Or if you don't jump to do something for someone else because you're worn out that you're being selfish and that was sin.  So that's why I said when we say living in sin it can confuse people.  I was really confused by it, and to an extent it does still bother me.  I keep telling myself that I've seen growth in areas like traffic.  I used to have a terrible road rage but don't drive that way anymore.  I've even forced myself to get behind the slowest car on the interstate to make myself keep calm.  LOL  But sometimes no matter how much I try, calm don't stay calm.  I want it to, try to get it to, get upset when it don't...which is another problem, getting upset with getting upset.  Aye aye aye. 

But I question it because there are many who don't commit adultery, steal, cheat, lie, murder, etc., and who go out of their way to help others, who still aren't righteous.  Sometimes I think I think too much.  Ya think?

Just remember, you're not alone. 

A BIG AMEN SEEK ,,,

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YA MY GOOD FRIEND.GOD BLESS YOU!!

LYN(GEORGIA PEACH)

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