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Some Christians seem to struggle very much in the Christian life, and are at almost constant war with their flesh, often falling into sin (I'm talking here of sins like selfishness, anger, impatience etc). 

Other Christians seem to be living in such glorious victory. They don't seem to give in to selfishness, impatience, anger etc. 

When I look around, there seem to be two tiers in Christianity: Those who seem to have it easy must have either graduated into a higher tier of Christianity, or perhaps they're pretty self-controlled by nature or upbringing and so there's less work to be done. 

Then there's those who have so little victory, though they want it. 

My personal experience as a believer has been one of almost constant struggle. I feel my sin nature so keenly, and am most often in great temptation to live according to my flesh, often succumbing to the old habits of sin that come so easily to me. 

I know the answer to our struggles in the Christian life is: FAITH. Maybe those who I imagine in the "upper tier" are simply those who have stronger faith. 

If simple faith is the answer to those in the thick of the battle with their flesh, what does it looks like to apply simple faith to the daily failures and so little daily victory over sin? 

Thanks in advance, 

Jenny

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Thanks for this. It makes a lot of sense. The illustration of the automatic door helped too. 

In how this applies practically in the case of, for example, holding my tongue towards my husband when I want to bicker, what does this look like? Would taking the first step be trying really hard not to bicker? That hasn't worked so far. Maybe the first step would be to believe that God will deliver me from my desire to bicker? 

Jenny, Can I recommend a book? "Dance With Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships" by Harriet Lerner, PhD. I had trouble finding it, but you can probably find it at the library. Sometimes people argue because that's how they've always done it. Have you ever had an argument that makes no sense? You're thinking how did we get here again? Gary and I have had certain things that we go around and around about. We're improving. That's the good news. There's certain patterns that we've overcome. I loaned the book to my daughter, and she still has it. They have the same dance with anger going on. I don't know. Maybe she watched Gary and me, and she was making some of our mistakes.

Love,
Mary

Thanks Mary, I'll look for that book. 

My husband and I definitely argue out of habit, and I know that even if he never changed, things would be made much better if I wasn't so stubborn. 

Jenny,

I was blessed to hear the message at the following link, entitled The Attitudes of the Beatitudes.

http://www.lightsource.com/ministry/leading-the-way/video-player/th...

In it, Jonathan expounds upon the idea that we can't save ourselves and says we don't need Jesus to help us, but we need Jesus to be our Redeemer and to transform us and to grow us. That realization comes from humility. Please, don't misunderstand. I'm not implying anything about you personally, regarding redemption or humility, etcetera.

To me, this message outlines the progessive relationship we have with God that deepens as humility is produced within us, which I also see in the life of Moses and even Jacob and others in Scripture, including Saint Paul. I hope it helps.

One of the things I took from it was for me to stop asking and hoping God will help me, and to start surrendering, if only moment by moment, to letting God work in me and through me. In other words, not God helping me do it, but Christ in me work, working through me. All this is new for me, too, and I'm a long, long way from being perfect and I sin in many ways.

Thanks Amanda, I'll listen to that, and from the sounds of it, it's what I need to hear right now. 

My prayers throughout the day are often, "God, help me", but I'm interested in knowing more about how a heart of humility prays. 

One of the Scriptures he quotes is from Psalm 37, and one of my sins is fretting. It easily turns into anger for me and I have envious thoughts, as well. It isn't that I envy people for intelligence or looks or money or possessions, but, for me, I have envied how I think others are treated better than I am. (I say "think" because it's a matter of perception, and my perception could be wrong.) The enemy loves to attack marriages and families it seems. If my husband is gone too long, I fret and then the thoughts set in that other people and things are more important to him and then I think I'm not worth much to him in comparison, and then I begin to fear abandonment and rejection, etcetera. It's a painful pattern. Perhaps we can apply James 5:16. Pray with me. I'll pray with you.

Read the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah.  

Rachel and Leah both struggled for Jacobs love and attention and were at war with each other.

Rachel knew Jacob loved her and Leah also knew. Leah knew that Jacob did not love her the way he adored and protected Rachel. Now that was painful. Some women may feel rejected because their husbands don't give them time or attention but Jacob put Leah up in the front lines of an attack and kept Rachel back with him. 

But it is written, "When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren." Blessed be the name Of Jesus! 

But look, look at Leah's heart when she named her son Reuben. Which means, “The Lord has surely looked on my affliction. Now therefore, my husband will love me.”  Leahs was still fixed on wanting jacobs love But GOD's not done with her yet sister.  Leah had more children:

Simeon - “Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved."

Levi - “Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.”

and  gradually the names began to shift from Jacobs love to guess who? GOD's love. Praise GOD this is good preachin sister...

She had her final son and she named him Judah, but this time she is done idolizing Jacob and says, "Now I will praise the LORD." Gen 29:31-35

Husbands need to love their wives and cherish them and wives need to stop wanting to be worshipped. I don't know if this will hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling but I post it with tenderness and love. Please women don't get fired up with me about this. It's true for some. The focus word here is "SOME" ok not all just some. I love you all in the name of Jesus. 

One more thing. Rachel was buried by the road and Leah was buried next to Jacob with his forefathers Abraham and Isaac. And one last tid bit, GOD recognized Leah as Jacobs wife and lineage through Judah the forefather of Joseph the husband of Mary who brought Jesus Christ the savior of the world into the world. 

You bring up some good points, Moses. There's a similar situation in the story of Hannah and her husband, Elkanah, as well as Sarah, Abraham, and Hagar. The relationship in marriage is interdependent. Men are instructed to love their wives, and women to respect their husbands. Problems appear to arrise when either one isn't living out the mutual love-respect cycle. What's even more difficult is to continue fulfilling one's part of it even when the other isn't fulfilling their part. But that is what we are called to do. Also, one or the other might believe something that isn't true, too -- one might have the perception, for whatever the reason, that they are unloved or are being disrespected when that isn't the case.

Thats interesting. 

Have you ever played chess? 

What piece is the most powerful piece on the board? Its can move more than any other piece and is the most feared and if you lose this piece the game is practically over. 

Do you know what piece that is?  The Queen

What is the weakest piece on the board? One step at a time and its best if you never even have to move it. 

I think you might guess now where I'm headed with this...The King

What do you think? 

Yes, I have played chess. 

My POV regarding marriage under the New Covenant might seem a bit controversial to some, but I'll risk sharing it. 

The finished work of Christ on the cross, and the blood of the new covenant brings healing and restoration for all who repent, believe, and receive Jesus. This means that the interdependent relationship that God instituted in the marital relationship between a husband and a wife before the Fall can be restored, at least to some degree, now. 

Yes, the fallen flesh of woman still wants to control man, and the fallen flesh of man wants to abuse the power to rule over woman, but in Christ, neither one in the marriage is to control the other but for many couples, it is a constant battle, and especially if one of them isn't saved.

Men are to lead the family, but it doesn't mean as a totalitarian dictator (and I know that you aren't saying that either.)

We are to walk in the Spirit, and Ephesians 5:21-33 shows us the Christ-like qualities that each one of us, when allowing Jesus to live in and through us, can bring into marriage. 

Hence, submission is to be mutual if both are born again believers seeking the will of God in the relationship. 

It's apparent to me that several couples in OT Scriptures wrestled with the fleshly desire of one wanting to control the other. 

Again, I say it's a POV that I hold. I understand others may see things differently.

You know sarah rebuked the spirit of feminism. 

You know Sarah was an elegant woman. Sarah was beautiful not only from the outside but from within. She had a proper upbringing and she had a reputable legacy. She came from a good family with all the qualities of a great wife and she was really smart, probably smarter than Abraham. 

Abraham on the other hand was from Ur.... Idolaters. You can imagine his his childhood and everything that surrounded him.  

But Do you know what the greatest virtue Sarah possessed? That in-spite of all these superior qualities she possessed and even some above her husband Abraham she called him lord. 

It is written:  “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

She obeyed him and respected him. What she did was accept her GOD given role as wife and submitted to her husband Abraham even though looking from the outside she seemed to have more going for her. 

But by lifting Abraham up to his position she lifted both of them up. If she would have behaved and treated Abraham like some misinformed and misguided wives of today who feels that a husbands purpose in life is to please and serve his wife at all cost then this will hinder GOD’s blessing to that marriage because GOD is not on the throne of that man’s heart his wife is and a good wife, a blessed wife will recognize this, rebuke the spirit of feminism and lift the husband to his place adorning themselves with the beauty that GOD honors and loves to see from his daughters.

Sarah knew she was the most powerful piece on the board but she said Abraham my love you are the most important piece on the board of GOD’s plan and purpose for both of us.  Blessed be the Name of Jesus forever and ever. 

Amen to the amen. Submission is a privilege not a yoke.

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