All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Fight to save my marriage or walk away.
I am new to this site. I need prayer to help me with my stubborness towards my husband. We are going thru some problems after almost a year of marriage but we have been together for almost 5 years. He is mad at me because I lied, I am human and I make mistakes, I am not jusitfying my mistakes lying is wrong any way you look at it. I am so confused at us, I know he loves me even though he does the I don't care any more speech. I love him and I wonder to I fight to save my marriage or just walk away.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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God's design for marriage is lifelong. Sometime that does not happen. I would encourage you to take every step possible on your side to make it work provided you are not in an abusive or life threatening situation. In the end it may fail, but you can look back and know you tried your best and you only can be responsible for your actions. A place to start is remembering back to why you got married to start with. Instead of being overwhelmed with the current situation and beat down by it alone, try to see in the other person what you saw then. There was something there, and probably still is, that led you to marry this person in the beginning. Seek counseling if he will go with you, expressing to him that you are asking this of him because you want to save the marriage. These are just a couple of thoughts that I would encourage you with based on the little you have shared.
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Permalink Reply by Krista Lynds on
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Thank you. My husband won't go to counseling. He is pretty mad at me. I do believe that the marriage is lifelong. He is my best friend and I miss him. We recently moved to Texas after most of my life in Vegas and I am home sick but then I realize I don't have a home without him. We are in the same house but he got mad and moved myself to the guest room not that this is the first time he has done this before we got married. I have done so much reading on how to repair things that I am overwhelmed and someone told me to do the love dare. I want my husband back but I want a stronger marriage. I love him so much. He isn't physically abusive at all but when he is mad at me he shuts me out for a while and it breaks my heart and I am not sure how to break it down this time. I feel like I do it all the time the last time he did was when I left he before we got married and I don't want that for us but we are distant. Do you think all marriages are fixable?
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"With God all things are possible." At the same time He has made us freewill beings. A relationship takes two people to make it work. Thus, all are not fixable, that is unless both are willing to do what it takes to fix the marriage.
I might add that I believe it is important for you ... for your overall good and long term health ... to put forth your best effort regardless of the outcome.
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thank you
Have a blessed day
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Permalink Reply by Seek on
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You have to realize you were in the wrong and you said your apologies. Now he's in the wrong and has to get to a point of forgiveness. But one year, and nothing like adultery or something major....that is no reason at all to give up. Show him you're sorry for lying by how you treat him and it will turn his anger around. Spend this time, when you're not with each other physically, reading God's word on marriage.
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My cousin posted a blog that may help you:
http://theawkwardpastorswife.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-floating-mitt...
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I have been reading God's word on marriage. I have asked for forgiveness from God and my husband and I have forgiven myself. It is so hard to do things when he won't talk to me. I am leaving notes around the house. I wrote him a letter and Facebook. I know I hurt him and now he is hurting me it is a vicious cycle. One of us had to break it before we end up in divorce when I believe that neither of us really wants it. I do believe with God all things are possible and I believe in marriage. Thank you for your kind words and the inspiration.
Have a blessed day
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Permalink Reply by Carla on
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Hi Krista,
God's heart is for marriages that they will be healed and strong, and ultimately, with Him at the centre, they will reflect His Love and Life to a lost and hurting world.
Marriage is hard. It takes work. If you are willing to do the hard work in prayer and practical application, it will pay off, and you will have a great marriage.
God heals and restores marriages...I know this first hand because He restored mine 4 years ago.
Trust me, it's still very hard, but you have to set your mind to doing the work.
It sounds like you may have to earn his trust again. Ask God for opportunities for that.
Every day, we choose to love our spouse and honor and respect eachother....just as every day we choose to honour. love and respect God. Keep Jesus at the centre of all you do.
I would also like to stress the importance of knowing who you are in Christ. I read a quote from a Christian author the yesterday...and I love it. I've posted it on my fridge at home.
here it is:
"We need to let our identity, not our insecurity, be the first thing to walk into any circumstance." ~Lysa Terkuerst.
What is our identity? We are Blessed, Chosen, Adopted, Accepted, Redeemed, Forgiven and Loved.
Do you know who you are?
In order to be in a relationship which is loving, sacrificial, forgiving and generous you must know who you are.
When marriages break up people end up broken, feeling rejected and unloved--not good enough....that's just where the enemy wants you.
God has something else in store for His children.
Bless you.
In His Love, Carla
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Hi Krista, my name is Nina and I am in thee same place you are.
I really don't know what to do. My story is a bit more complicated though. My husband entered traveled for work 2 years ago. I ended up alone, no family or friends for 2 months. Im not from this city we were at the time.
Then I made a friend. A male friend. That became a fling bcs I am stupid.
Then my husband (at the time he was just my boyfriend) came back and I told him what happened. I was confused.
Time passed by we were akwardly together and the other guy would show up just to cause problems.
Anyways, its been very long we dont talk about the cheating, and I am not a cheater. I dont want any other man.
We got married in april.
And now my husband decided to cancel the marriage bcs he is turly depressed.
We are.not living together and i am freaking out. All of a sudden he decided he doesnt want us anymore to be together. He says he didnt meet anyone else, and he is always kissing ans hugging me.
I know this is confusing, I am going crazy too. Bottom line is, he never Really forgave me from all his heart.
I dont want to divorce.
Im so sad and tired. Ive thought this story was over and I was on the "happily ever after" part.
I'm praying for you. You and. Are gonna go through this with our Lord by our side.
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My husband traveled for work to while I was here in Austin Texas alone. All my friends and family are in Las Vegas. My heart breaks for you. I know that I love my husband more than anything. He is my soul mate. We need to keep fighting for our marriage. At least your husband kisses and hugs you while mine won't speak to me, moved me out of our room and I am in the guest room. I didn't cheat I lied about some stupid stuff. He is really upset about it and rightfully so but I have asked him for forgiveness and I have asked God for forgiveness. I also, asked myself for forgiveness. I just wrote my husband a 2 page letter, he will probably throw it away because he is stubborn but I have to put action and show him that I love him and won't take him for granted again. You need to do the same. You made vows with your husband til death do you part so stick to them. If you love your husband truly love him then you fight for him don't let your pride get in the way. I was letting mine get in the way and we hadn't talked for 2 weeks. Enough is enough and I am going to do everything I can to work on us. I will pray for you. And yes I am going to go through this with God on my side as you are and we will prevail with his help. Mistakes are made but only one can judge us and he forgives us so others must do so as well. Keep your head up. Have a blessed day
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