Strange feeling.

For what I know I've been pretty apathetic save for the 4 emotions I can't rid myself of.  I did that by forgetting ever feeling the emotion (not the memory itself sometimes) so if I felt something like, say, happiness, I wouldn't know it and become apathetic once whatever excited me wares of and I, from what I know, forget the emotion again.

But I don't much care about any of that, seeing as how I forced my mind to do in the first place, I'm just starting to feel something... familar?

I can't really place it because whenever I feel it I also get an unwelcomed sense of nastalgia along with it. I've been ignoring it for a month because I thought it was only a feeling of nastagia dispite the fact that I have nothing to feel nastagic about at the time. Now I know it's a completely different feeling after paying some attention to it.

I get it after reading something about someone dying a certain way or age. Not that I really care that much, what's dead is dead and was going to happen eventually. I still get this nawing in the pit of my stomach, it feels kind of weird.

Any idea on what it could be? Thanks for the help.