Can I Vent

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 12, 2013 at 11:28pm

Amanda -

 

I am acquainted with pain and in my previous life, my life before Christ I even enjoyed and long for pain, so it doesn't make me uncomfortable. I once loved evil and Christ set me free. I have not walked in perfection because of that freedom. God has had to give me Grace from day one until today, so again, I love to say God gives us so much grace so we can give grace, yet through it all God has kept me and strengthen me to where now most things just bounce off me as long as I am abiding in Christ and my flesh is not the one leading.

 

>>Perhaps you need to be able to identify better with those who have heavy hearts while others of us need to learn how to laugh again.

 

Yes beloved, is never a bad thing to be able to identify better with those who you love and want to desperately help.

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Permalink Reply by ribbon on April 12, 2013 at 9:35pm

DV, please be careful of your boasting of how you would react in grave circumstances. I have seen a few people who did and said same things as you and they fell down and Im not sure if they ever got back up.These people knew Gods word and believed it too. The one who bragged the most is the one who backslid quickly when some bad things happened to him.  . Ok now I am done. I am sorry for earlier if I came across rude.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 12, 2013 at 11:30pm

My friend Janie, I will share a story with you tomorrow beloved. My wife is ready to kick my butt if I don't stop typing hahaha

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Permalink Reply by ribbon on April 13, 2013 at 9:15am

David I didn't know about your fiancé but I have read your testimonie. I know you understand hardships. Its just that I know how people have fell after they say almost the very words that you have here.  I know the bible says somewhere to rejoice at a death and cry at a birth . I don't quite understand that but probably would if I were in love with the Lord like you and the others here are.  I am just thinking about you that is all.

 

Tammy, Your personality cracks me up......." put those pearly whites in your back pocket" <----that is funny

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 12, 2013 at 5:12pm

David, we do rejoice with those who rejoice. We rejoice in our lives and experience joy. We go to the weddings of our loved ones and we hold their babies at the hospitals and we go to their high school and college graduations and we really rejoice when they find Jesus and get baptized. But there are times when we are to weep with those who weep and when we want others to weep with us. It hurts to have someone sing happy songs when our own hearts are heavy. Proverbs 25:20. We can and do relate to the joyful in Christ. Can you relate to those who have heavy hearts? There is a time and a season for everything. You know this.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 12, 2013 at 5:17pm

PS It isn't that we go through years of recovery when we suffer a loss. The fact is we go through years of hurting because we are told not to grieve, not to cry, not to mourn, not to weep, and therefore we can not heal. There's a difference. When people feel they must hide their pain or bury it instead of feel it and experience it and heal, they can NOT heal.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 12, 2013 at 5:41pm

Amanda,

 

I can relate to the hurting for my life had been filled with pain, abuse and violence before Christ and for the glory of Christ I do weep with those that weep, but in Christ my life has been drastically different. Abiding in Christ gives me the capacity to now rejoice A LOT MORE than weeping that is all I am saying.

 

I do weep with those that weep, but truth be told, I primarily weep at the fact that so many of us in the body of Christ take forever weeping, when in Christ there is freedom and joy in the midst of everything.  I long to see people mature, not to the point where they do not weep, but at least to the place where recovery is almost immediate because after our initial reaction we remember who we are and more importantly, who's we are.

 

We can rejoice through it all, not at the calamity or trouble, but at the fact that we have God throught it all.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 12, 2013 at 5:53pm

There is no time limit that I know of stated in the Scripture for how long we should or should not feel the pain from our losses. That is completely individual and I don't expect you to feel any loss for a certain amount of time. I'm happy that you recover quickly. And if anyone thinks their pain is lasting longer than it should or is interfering with their life, then they ought to seek professional help and many of us are and have. People are doing the best they can. But asking people to rush their feelings and to not cry and not feel bad and not be sad just isn't something I will ever do. I don't see God leading me to do it. I see God saying be patient with people.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 12, 2013 at 11:04pm

Amanda -

You are correct that there is no time limit. Healing simply takes as long as it takes. By God's grace my recovery time is extremely quickly, but who am I boasting about here, me, how awesome I am or my Lord? Any one that knows me will tell you I boast in the Lord. My wife knows me better than anyone else and she I think will tell you that my boast is in the Lord.

 

I have certainly not ask anyone and I don't think you are saying I did, you are doing what most of us do, you are balancing the topics we discuss, to rush their feelings. God has also told me to be more sensitive and patient with those who are specially sensitive themselves.

 

However, like Peter I do not find it a burden to remind us of truth that helps us become free form all our insecurities, fears and hurts. Truth that sets us free to walk in a strength that is no from us nor our own but by the strengthening of the Spirit. 

 

God does tell us to be patient. I like to say that God gives us so much grace so we can give grace

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on April 13, 2013 at 7:18am

Actually, David, it does appear you are boasting about you & not Him. Yes, your words say one thing but your attitude says another. You give Him glory but turn around & it's all about you & how you react & you feel & you.....

The problem with the truth that you feels so adamant about sharing to the mourning is their pain is so deep that the last thing that person wants to hear is something they already know. I know where they are in heaven. I don't want them there at that point in time. I want them by my side.

Ever lost a spouse with little eyes looking up at you asking where Mommy was? Your explanation is she's with Jesus. I don't want her with Jesus, daddy. I want her here with me. At nights those babies crying because mommy's  not there to comfort them. Been there except it was a husband.

 

Ever woke up at 6am by a phone call to find that your awesome incredibly most-giving Christian mother had a heart attack for no apparent reason? Your child had spent the night with her & seen her dead? No because you're still hoping yours will die. Brother, I have no doubt where these loved ones are. One person even told me about my husband because I wasn't boohooing "Oh honey, it hasn't hit u yet". I was very nice but inside I was thinking really? I wake up alone. I roll over to touch someone to find only a pillow. I wait at 5pm for someone to walk thru that door but yet no one shows up. My 7 year old doesn't want to stay home because her daddy is no longer there. To be so, I don't know what word to use, arrogant? Maybe that's not it. Self-righteous? No, well, maybe yes. 

 

The sign of maturity is to also show compassion. Maturity is knowing when to keep your mouth shut & tuck those pearly whites in your pocket & save your Hallelujahs for another day.    I'm not sure of how close your loved ones was that you lost but my were engraved so deep in my heart. Actually, one of them was the other half of my heart.  At my husbands & mothers' funerals I was on my feet, hands raised praising the Lord because I knew I would see them soon. But the pain of their absence, at that time, was so profound. I would never belittle anyone's grief as I feel u have here. I was going to ask you earlier to reread your statement hoping u could see your lack of compassion. However, when you continued to back & defend that attitude, I seen it wasn't a mistake on your part but it was your true & sincere feelings which kinda saddens me.  Of course I know where my victory lies but I'm also flesh. Jesus wept. We can come up with 1000 reasons why He did but the fact remains, He wept at the tomb of Lazarus.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 13, 2013 at 8:42am

Even if his response to a similar situation is completely different from what yours was, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The key is to grieve. Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted. We go wrong only when we don't mourn. Mourning helps us heal. Grief is inward; mourning is outward. We must get the feelings out. It's the way God created us. There are blessings in mourning. One is being comforted. It's ok to need comforting. There is no time limit for how long one should or should not need it.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 13, 2013 at 11:00am

Bless are those who mourn, but mourn for what? The lost of a love one? That is not the context of the verse No, who mourn about their condition, without Christ's righteousness we have no righteousness. So God is not teaching us here that mourning about other things is a good thing, though mournign is not bad either. 

 

2 Samuel 12:21 

His attendants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"

 

2 Samuel 12:20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

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