All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

Can I Vent

I love me some Christians. Let me say that before I start. I was sharing with someone how I had puked everything up that I had ever eaten since I was 2 & my head was killing me. Their response: God is in control. DUH. I know that but that doesn't make me feel any better. Then they said: Don't worry everything will be OK. I say I'm not worried I'M SICK. Again: You will be well OK. ME: I know I'll be OK but that does not help right now. Then: I am praying that you can get better. I said yea, whatever. I know I sound hateful but that drives me up the wall. It's like telling someone in mourning they're in a better place. Really? How does that help my heart right now. I say I'm sick please don't say God is over all, yadda yadda. I already know that. Say you're sorry or something. Actually, I'm not looking for u to say anything. I'm really just sharing. I'm not looking for a miracle because life is life. We gonna have sicknesses & trials. It is what it is. Do you feel the same as me or are you on the other end of the spectrum? Am I just ill right now? lol

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on April 12, 2013 at 11:27am

This went clean over your head didn't it David? Don't sweat it though brother, it would have went over JM's head as well.

Telling them they are in a better place only makes it worse. Never say that to someone who has lost a close dear one.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 12, 2013 at 11:49am

No it doesn't go over my head Tammy. There is nothing complicated about the discussion. It is very elementary and simple, but we must understand that telling someone that their love one is in a better place is not WRONG at all. The word NEVER is almost always not a good word to use, I am sure that there are times when folks appreciate the reminder.

I for one have lost loves ones and do not mind being told that at all. It is perfectly ok and a truth I love hearing. I am making a point to harp on this because we need to understand that we are all different and not make blanket statements such as the ones I see in this discussion. You may not like to hear that, but others may be perfectly ok with it. Is that statement and others being mentioned here wrong? No! not at all, they are biblical.

We need to mature to the place where such things do not bother us at all and understand that the people making the statements are simply trying to be helpful, by reminding us of bibical truth.

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Permalink Reply by Seek on April 12, 2013 at 11:52am

David, there is always another side to every coin. While we need to mature to where things don't bother us, we should also be willing to mature as Paul did....where we can be all things to all people. Because that type of saying may give you hope, as you said, all are different. So the person saying it may not have been led by the Spirit or took the time to think of what the person they were speaking to at the time needed. They just gave them what they thought they'd want to hear.

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 12, 2013 at 11:54am

Char - we are in agreement. :)

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on April 12, 2013 at 12:20pm

I don't care that they tell me now but in the funeral line, yes, I did. I also had a husband die & I had a 7 year old there. Again, what u said, yes we're different. You love people dying, I don't. I say NEVER with great conviction. Our Lord says never many times but I'm not goi ng to go there.

I didn't mean to make this so intense. I was venting. I just done mine online instead of calling Char. I realize my thoughts are very simple & elementary. It's who I am. I don't complicate much. This is a discussion & if you feel I'm making blanket statements, it's your right to do so. It's my right to speak them & I am stating feelings of which I know for a fact others feel the same.

It's really no big deal now but yesterday I was a bit frustrated. You have taken this way over & beyond where I intended it to go. But, since we're there, let's go. I have no problem with it. Just because you're in a certain place & I'm in another doesn't mean you are more mature then anyone else. Maybe I feel others need to mature enough to see life with Christ isn't just skittles & rainbows. All this goody goody gumdrops isn't life & I feel many need to see how to see life when being in Christ can still be difficult. Positive is great but life sooner or later hits. I understand the kid was trying to be helpful. I wasn't mean to him. I understood where he was coming from. I was just venting my thoughts to my online family.

Words always hurt. I've seen a strong, healthy man crush at words. I've seen the strongest of women fall at words. Chapter after chapter after chapter reads about our words. If you reread that statement, you will see a bit of self-righteousness in your words which I think is so unbecoming of a Christian mature man. Of course, 15 minutes later, I was thinking a whole lot of what the kid said because I knew he didn't know what else to say. I was never mad at him & always appreciate more prayers.