All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Trying to Endure A Long Trial God's Way...
My husband and I are both believers, and we prayed asking God before we were married to bless our marriage. Now, ten years later we are suffering greatly! I have two boys; my oldest is not my husband's child, and my oldest is high-functioning autistic that has spacial issues, etc. For the past five years, conflict has been building between my husband and him so much that they can't be in the same room for two minutes before they're arguing back-and-forth with each other. What starts the arguments between them is my husband's grouchy tone of voice and demands before it just goes south from there. They're like two kids arguing over who's going to go first at something. Except, my husband acts like the bully, because he has the advantage of being an adult and my son does not, and they both know it. I've tried to explain, so many times, to my husband that it's a cause-and-effect thing with special needs children, but he continues to behave in this manner and even expresses in his actions that he doesn't really like my son. He claims to love him, but says it's hard dealing with him when he back talks him. But I've been desperately trying to explain to him if he would only talk in a more loving tone of voice, my son wouldn't react to him in that manner. My husband just shrugs his shoulders and continues to throw out demands in a very grouchy tone of voice that leads to one argument after the other. The last comment my husband made about my oldest son that I still can't get out of my mind was at a therapy session in Key Largo, Florida. The therapist asked all the family members present how they felt about my son, and my husband immediately responded back, "He eats and gets bigger." This broke my heart, and he just thought he was being funny (so he said). The problem is he's been doing this for years to the family, and my oldest son is now 12 soon to be 13 on March 29th. Also, my son keeps asking me why I married him and continue to stay with him when he treats him this way, and then I look at my youngest son and I can't really explain to him how it would be ripping his brother's life apart if I left my husband. However I'm torn, because I feel like I'm ripping my oldest son's life apart by staying with my husband. Also, my husband has already expressed he would keep my youngest son from me if I left, because he doesn't feel its safe for him around my oldest son. My oldest son doesn't have any history of violence in school, but he does have spacial issues where he doesn't watch out for others around him while he's playing, and he doesn't seem to know when to stop rough housing before his brother gets hurt. Because of many incidents of my youngest son getting hurt, he doesn't feel it's safe for them to be left alone together, and this scares him and has caused him to resent my oldest son more than I think he cares to admit to me. I've been praying to God for years, as well. I'm so exhausted, my hair is falling out, I'm fighting depression and tears all the time, and my husband keeps telling me that we have to keep trying because marriage is sacred in the eyes of God. So, my mother came to live with us for about six months, and she was my extra pair of eyes and became a presence that helped maintain peace by merely keeping my oldest son occupied and away from my husband. But now, she has to return to sale her house in SC, and I'm left alone again to try and figure out what God wants me to do with this nightmare that seems to be getting worse. I realize that God's solution is ultimately the best, but while I'm waiting for his answer, I'm falling apart here...
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by DARLENE SCOTT on
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I am in a marriage that is very hard also. I have been married to my husband for 5 years. He was nice until we got married now he treats me like trash. He goes and comes as he please. I pray and ask God why.I hurt so bad I don't know what to do with this pain. I know God does not like divorce, but that is the only way out of this pain. I have been faithful to him from the day we got married until now. Sometimes I feel like calling a friend just to go out to feel like someone cares. When I start that thinking the word of God comes to me and say it is not worth it. When it gets to me I have to listen to a song that tells me that God will work it out. I have all ways heard thet pepole who do other people wrong will get it back,but the problem I have is that he is just having a good time. We sleep in the same bed no sexual contact at all. He does not do anything for me it is like we are roomates. I know how you feel it is very hard to live that way and keep your mind at the same time. So just pray God will step in when he think it is time I am telling myself the same thing.
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Permalink Reply by Tammy on
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Darlene,
I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. At the moment, I'm praying about what to say but I did want to drop u a line & tell u I was praying for you.
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Thank You.
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Permalink Reply by Carla on
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Darlene,
Welcome to AAG. I'm so sorry you are going thru such a difficult time... God brought me through a difficult marriage and it's been good for almost 4 years now. God is in the business of healing marriages... Please don't give up....come here to talk when you need it. I know it hurts..and I'm so sorry it hurts.
Was there a difficult event in your life that may have triggered him acting this way?
Bless you... hang in there, Carla
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No
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I just wanted to stop by & see how things are going at home & to let you know I'm still praying.
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Permalink Reply by Richard L. Broch, Sr. on
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Rhonda...........
Does any of the following sound familiar: Physical pain, mental pain, depression, being referee, weary, heavy laden, feeling alone, confused..........?
Let's prayerfully consider Matthew 11: 28-30, NASB - "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (29) Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. (30) For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."
We're praying for your guys to take on Jesus's yoke with you..........so that you all can pull together.
It takes a team to plant a field of dreams.........a sweet harvest......of working together with the Lord Jesus Christ, Who is the Savior of souls.....and the Savior of families...........
Grace and Peace from your Sisters and Brothers here at AAG.
Amen.
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