All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

Parents

I know we are to honor our mother and father, but how and what does it mean when they are not believers?

I have had run ins with my parents over the last few years in regards to my faith. Yesterday, for example, I was asked how my work at a faith based outreach is going. I said fine and stated there is a lot of work to do. I was explaining to him and a friend standing near by how I needed to remove some games from the computers. Halo and some other killing game. His response was, " I think you are going overboard"

Of course I responded with, " you need to read the Bible". Not the best choice of words. His response was that we didn't need to go there because it wouldn't turn out well for either of us.

It doesn't matter what the conversation is about he will throw barbs at my faith and the fact that I do take everything to God. Even this problem.

So, how do you honor your parents when you feel the only way to tolerate them is not see them?

Blessings all,

Gary

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on November 26, 2012 at 10:19am

Adult children of abusive parents may still suffer in many ways, too, from ongoing verbal and emotional abuse and even psychological abuse. And, yet, they do need to learn how to honor their parents nonetheless.

Permalink Reply by Carla on November 26, 2012 at 9:54am

Janie, Honoring a sexually abusive parent... this is most definately a difficult concept to swallow...

Practically...what does that even look like? --That's what I asked God when I read your reply.

First things first... the parent has to be reported to the authorities, the child must be protected.

What if the parent is not reported to the authorities? How does a child honor this parent who continually hurts him/her? I wish I had an answer that would be more satisfying than what I'm about to say. In this instance I want it to be okay for me to say what the world would say...

But God calls us to a higher way... no one said it was going to be easy or fair.

God calls us to forgiveness.

God calls us to love.

God calls us to reconciliation (if possible--sometimes it is unsafe for relationship reconciliation)

Honoring doesn't mean tolerate abuse

Honoring means respecting their authority-- in what we say and what we do.

Obey the boundaries they have put in place....

An abused child must reach out for help for guidance and direction and wisdom. It's important to seek out someone who can take on the role of guardian, and help in the process while the authorties are being notified.

If anyone reading this is in that circumstance, I would advise them to go to the authorities immediately. An abusive parent usually threatens the child with words like 'If you tell anyone you'll get in trouble'....OR...'If you tell anyone I'll hurt them and you'. This is demonic control straight from the pit of hell... When you go to the authorities you must know you will be protected and provided for. Don't be afraid of 'change'. Change must occur for the better.

My biological dad abused me (and others) for years... He was finally put in jail for life and he died there a couple years ago. If you are being abused, it's likely that you are not the only one.

A while ago I asked God where He was when this abuse was happening.... God reminded me of circumstances that happened regularly to get my abusive parent out of the house...and eventually convict him a life sentence which he served in full.

I had prayed as a child, and by my lack of understanding, I thought God was absent..or didn't care because the answer to prayer was not instant. God's answer to my prayers as a child came at just the right time....healing from the abuse came much later. I had to learn about forgiveness. I learned to see things from my dad's perspective... he was abandoned by his own Mother when he was a child...and he was left in a home to endure abuse. She told him when he was just a boy that she was going to leave the abusive father...and take him with her when she did. However, when she did leave, she didn't take him. he felt abandoned by her. God brought me through this entire process...and let me know he had heard my prayer. He answered my prayer in such a way that I would never be harmed by him again. It wasn't a temporary fix...but a permament change.

Lord Bless you and give you peace as you process this difficult (and yucky) topic. Lord come quickly... Blessings, Carla