Confused and struggling

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Permalink Reply by JB on July 22, 2012 at 10:39am

 

 

 

I have tried to do this 10 times in my own lifetime. My confusion and struggle lies in wondering why God allowed me to live and not her

My question would be; What did God do to stop you?

And what did God do to allow her to?

Just Curious!!

One needs to activate the Word of God against all temptations that is contrary to His Word.

Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and Jesus our Lord; according as His divine power has given unto you all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who has called you to glory and virtue. 2Pet.1:2-3

Joe

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Permalink Reply by Colby on July 22, 2012 at 2:11pm

Mischelle,

 

Life, which comes from God, is precious.

 

Suicide--the taking of one's life--is a tragedy.  

 

There are many reasons why people attempt suicide.  Many are overwhelmed by the trials and tribulations of life, such that they become overly despondent, withdrawn and utterly hopeless and see no other way out of their situation.  Often, we don't know what was going on in their minds and their deaths by suicide come as a total shock to us. 

 

The friends and loved ones of those that have killed themselves often suffer much grief and angst, especially as they reflect on this tragic and unnecessary loss of life.   We might ask ourselves: "Was there something I could have done?  Anything... that might have made a difference?"

 

For those that are confused and struggling with thoughts of suicide and those overcome by grief at the loss of a friend or loved one due to suicide, take comfort in prayer and in reading the Holy Scriptures.  Talk to someone, a close friend, family member or pastor.  In times of tragedy especially, we need each other.  Seek out professional help from a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist or mental health clinician.  If you have a friend or loved one who is exhibiting any of the signs of suicidal tendencies, is overcome by feelings of sadness, angst or depression, reach out to them.  Show them that you care.

 

Never give up!  Know this: Your feelings of confusion and hopeless are a lie.  There is always reason for hope.  God is ALWAYS faithful.

• "God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord" (1 Corinthians 1:9).

 

• "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for
  those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

 

• He will not let you be tested beyond your strength and ability to endure (1 Corinthians 10:13).

 

I do not know why God allowed your friend to die and for you to live in spite of numerous suicide attempts.  But I consider it a blessing that you are still with us.  Having said that, I hope and trust that out this tragedy you have learned something.  Namely, that each and every life is precious in God's eyes, and that there's always a reason for the hope that we have in Christ who will never fail us.  He is faithful.  Do you think God saved you for a purpose he might have in mind?  Perhaps you can draw on the experience of your own struggle with suicidal thoughts and your faith in Christ to be led by the Holy Spirit to help others who may be contemplating suicide.

 

May you be blessed by the extravagant love of God our Father, the amazing grace of Jesus the Messiah, and the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit,

 

Colby

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Permalink Reply by feet breath on July 22, 2012 at 8:30pm

Sister, I've wondered the same thing myself. There was other people bullied and they comitted suicide. Why'd I live yet they didn't? I wanted to in 8th grade. I was even thinking about it when I seen a bottle of pills (I was in 8th grade).

 

I finally gave my guilt not to long ago to the Lord and it really helped. I don't know why they died yet I'm still here. But, I do know I gave my guilt over to Him and He will take care of it.

American King James Version Come to me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

http://bible.cc/matthew/11-28.htm

:hugs: Give any pain to Jesus. He will be your rest and comfort. As you go to sleep tonight know He's holding you.

 

Read this footprints poem :) http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php I hope it helps.

 

Yes, it's a blessing that you're here. You're our sister after all. :0) And you're a unique person. Like Colby said each life is precious. Don't give up, God hasn't. He still has plans for you. And if He has plans you know He's got something really good planned ahead!

 

In Christ,

feetbreeze

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 23, 2012 at 8:57am

What you speak of is often called survivor guilt. It occurs when there is a natural disaster, when someone is killed suddenly and unexpectedly, as in an industrial accident, or when something happens like what has happened at the theatre in Colorado, or in an airplane crash, or a death by suicide, or when a soldier dies in a battle, etc...

The person who goes on living will not allow themselves to enjoy life or have any happiness and will feel even worse if they get to enjoy anything even for a short time ... because they keep thinking, "Why should I, when the one who died ... ?"

I know you already know what Romans 8:1 says. It is normal to feel guilt and to feel conviction. Condemnation is not for you though ... is not for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

It was during my years of working for hospice that I learned please don't say to people, "It was God's will ..." That doesn't comfort and we live in an imperfect world where imperfect things happen to imperfect people and we also battle an evil enemy whose motive never changes and that motive is to kill, steal, and destroy. We were told please don't say, "God needed another rosebud for His garden ..." Does God snatch people away for His own pleasure? I do believe God is Sovereign but mankind has liberties, saved or unsaved alike. We were told, please don't say, "Your loss is heaven's gain ... " Seeing it written like that makes it sound cruel doesn't it -- something very cruel to say? Yes. Because it is a painful loss. And most of all never say, "If you think you have it bad, let me tell you about ..." Many people do have a worse situation, but knowing this does not make you feel better about your own situation. We must learn not to invalidate the feelings of others or trivialize their hurt. We simply weep with those who weep.

There are many things we should not say. What can we say?

I'm sorry. I care. What can I do to help?

I will add, It is not wrong that you lived. I am thankful that you did.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 23, 2012 at 11:25am

I also wish I had a better answer, too, as Carla has expressed. I can only share information but really have no advice. I dated a man once for about six months. It was long ago before I ever met my husband. When I entered into the relationship I knew he was a Christian but I also knew he had attempted suicide once and had been hospitalized for a deep depression afterwards. He was ten years older than me. Our relationship ended by my choice. About a year later he shot and killed himself. But he had already married someone and had seemed to be going on with his life. Sometimes we can never know why people make this choice other than what Colby already shared. They just feel like they no longer can cope anymore. In some cases they do fear death but they are more terrified of  being alive. What Char said has truth, also. All of us are at risk for believing lies. Lies cause us to make wrong choices. Truth sets us free. Jesus is Truth.  

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 23, 2012 at 2:28pm

Mischelle, I just wanted to add that it is often comforting, on the other hand, to know we are not alone in our pain and to be able to share and listening to the stories of others who have been in similar circumstances can be very helpful. I seek to tell my own experiences not in a way that minimizes or trivializes another's grief but in a way that offers mutual help ... but I fail in many ways. I will share one example of trivializing someone's situation that someone shared with me. She was going through a divorce and was very devastated and another person looked at her one day in the break room where she worked work and said, "Will you please stop talking about your failed marriage. My husband is dead and at least your husband is still around and you get to see him!" The widow may have been in a worse situation but what she said to my friend really hurt her and made her feel like she was doing something she shouldn't ... which was mourning the loss of her marriage. A big mistake people make is trying to pretend they are fine when they aren't fine. It is good that you are talking about this. You said:

My confusion and struggle lies in wondering why God allowed me to live and not her.

It really helps to be able to talk about what bothers us.

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Permalink Reply by Carla on July 23, 2012 at 10:26am

Mischelle,

This is awful.  It doesn't make sense.  It hurts.  I'm sorry I don't have a better answer than that. 

 

The best we can do is hand it over to Jesus as He wants to carry our burdens that are too heavy for us, and He is able to carry them when we can't.

Love in Christ, Carla

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Permalink Reply by Colby on July 23, 2012 at 11:53am

The Serenity Prayer

by Reinhold Niebuhr

 

God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 23, 2012 at 11:59am

Amen.

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Permalink Reply by Carla on July 23, 2012 at 12:08pm

Wow Colby..  I have never heard the complete serenity prayer before..  It's very profound.  This may become a regular prayer for me.

 

This part really spoke to me..

 

"Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right"

 

Thanks so much for sharing it...

Blessings, Carla

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on July 24, 2012 at 10:32pm

 

Mischelle -

 

Girl - like we can read the mind of God hahaha What in the world kind of question is that hahaha J/K you... I tell you, I still crack me up hahaha

 

On the real though - God loves you - He has given you abundant grace, so you can now comfort others, with the love and comfort He has given you.

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