MY DISCUSSION

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by SAUNDRA KNIGHT on July 16, 2012 at 1:22pm

oh there were responses 15 replies to be exact if u find them and read them you will understand, but i think it is better i stay away, thank u for responding though.

Permalink Reply by Tammy on July 16, 2012 at 1:42pm

Saundra, 

It was forgiven before you even ask. I'm sorry I was so blunt. We all need to pray before responding to these discussions. The negative of the internet is we can't hear the tone in one another's voice so times we get way offended or angry when the other person never meant it in the way you took it. I've done it time & again. As you, I desire to continue to grow in Him. Please don't stop replying to any discussion. We are a very loving site & would not hurt anyone on purpose or I know I wouldn't. So, please forgive me sis for even making you feel that you need to step off & not interact with us. Don't let this stop your learning as I'm sure we can learn many things from you. 

Luv u

Tammy

Permalink Reply by SAUNDRA KNIGHT on July 16, 2012 at 1:52pm

i thank you both from the bottom of my heart, and i sure never meant any harm or anything, am just hurting so badly but i will continue to learn and grow, may god bless you both with abundant blessings. love u too tammy.

Permalink Reply by Tammy on July 16, 2012 at 2:05pm

I pray you'll give us a second chance. We're your brothers & sisters in Christ & would love to join with you in prayer or discussions over the pain you're feeling. We all go thru trials so I'm sure we have someone here that can relate to your situation. The word tells us we have trials so that we can comfort others who will be in that same situation. Let's learn together.

Permalink Reply by SAUNDRA KNIGHT on July 16, 2012 at 3:42pm

i would so much love to share, just have been made to feel so badly about telling my woes that i keep them bottled up inside, afraid to say anything for fear of being critcised, for being weak but and i know i am not the only person going through my heart goes out to everyone that is hurting, i pray for others that they find peace and help and love, i suffer from severe depression my daughter weas murdered in 2003 and her killers walk free, she was killed simply because she was poor and black, because she had no criminal record or any thing, was basically a good person, she was 35 my only son locked away have not seen him in 12 years, i am disabled in a wheelchair, from a dipiltating disease, i have been accused of giving it to myself, i live totally alone no family, no friends i am also a large lady and was told constantly by my mother all my life that the world did not like fat people, and i was worthless and woukd never amount to anything, no man would ever love me unless he was an alcoholic or drug addict or out of his mind, i know i made mistakes i sinned having children out of wedlock, experimenting with weed, nothing else basically a book worm, cigarettes but long ago i went to god and asked forgiveness and he delivered me from all of it, i stopped cold turkey no rehab or nothing, raised my children alone and grandchildren alone, have always tried to be good tried to please my mother but no matter what i did she never was pleased and went out of her way to let me know i was not what she wanted she prefered my cousin who is a drug abusing nothing, she once told me she wished he was her child instead of me, i carry the scars of menta, verbal and physical and sexual rape and abuse which i was told was my fault, i was a 14 year okd child loved dolls and tea parties but i was raped and according to my mother it was my fault, and today i feel as if i have done something so badly god won't forgive me for, because my life hurts so bad i exist on social security only, my bills are more than my money but can't afford to move, and the lonliness oh god i feel as if the walls are closing in on me at times i go to church in the choir with nothing but a wheelchair for transportation i end up just sitting home alone a lot, no social places for blacks here, or anything for christians i am sometimes out of food only getting a small amount of money each month, and am diabetic food rooms here can not help because of my sugar, and other health factors, and folks here do not believe in helping others, and i pray oh how i pray am only 63 so yes i still desire and want a loving husband, but am not even dating men look at my weight and my chair not my heart, or look at nme as a bed partner and i refuse instead i made a vow to god that i woukd wait for my true husband , it has been 12 long years, and i am only human. women here if they got 3 men they won't introduce them to you, they want them all, anyway it would take a book to tell of all the heartbreak, pain and sorrow i live, i saw my father murdered at 8 years old, sometimes i feel like i am paying for it, instead of my mother, and she did it, but i have no ill feelings toward her, i love her i go see her every chance i get, she is in a nursing home now and we coukldn't be closer i forgive her with my whole heart and i love her, i am an only chikd no brothers or sisters i just feel so alone and unloved and unwanted. i hope i have nit bored you tammy, and i thank you for letting nme share even this much god bless you, please pray for me i feel so lost and thrown away.

Permalink Reply by Tammy on July 16, 2012 at 4:35pm

Are you kidding me? Bored? Girl, I walked off in tears. Now, I REALLY feel bad I was such a jerk. Your daughter murdered - that would be enough to kill me right there or kill them which would land me in prison. Mother killed your father in front of you & then they leave you holding the bag to everything bad that's happened in your life. You are getting nothing you deserve. God doesn't do that. Sure, we pay consequences like having children out of wedlock is a hard road. It's hard enough with support but alone, it's horrible. You have taken the blame for the Korean War. My gosh sweetie. I hate to hear about your son as well. That can't be easy either. Raped? I'm sure beat many times by the loser men. Oh my word, I'm speechless actually. I'll come back & share more after I take it all in. How in the world could anyone survive such things? 

Permalink Reply by SAUNDRA KNIGHT on July 16, 2012 at 4:40pm

i wonder sometimes myself why am i still alive with all this pain who could hate me so badly

Permalink Reply by God's Helper on July 16, 2012 at 4:45pm

Saundra God loves you,honey I just read your story and was on the eduge of tears. I so don't hate you...I add more after I digest this and give you more help.

Permalink Reply by Tammy on July 16, 2012 at 5:18pm

Satan hates you that much. Do you realize the prayers you can pray inside your house? Do you realize the lives you can encourage while on this internet? Girl, you have many many things to offer the Lord. Stop selling yourself short. Others need to hear from you. 

Permalink Reply by SAUNDRA KNIGHT on July 16, 2012 at 6:32pm

oh how well i know, he hates all of god's people, but i still kniw he is a liar, and a killer, and he destroys lives, but his days are so numbered, i would love to share with others it is in my heart to, just do not know how to go about it, am writing a book though, i have so many needs , just can't seem to get the things i need, but i sure plan to keep trying, i know i can not give up now, something has got to break for me. i sure do appreciate u understanding that feels good.

Permalink Reply by Chelly Weezy-Caviezel on July 16, 2012 at 4:46pm

hey Sandra, I'm so sorry you went through all this but never think you are worthless.  I just want to let you know that you are beautiful no matter what, you are a strong, loving person with a very very big heart. No matter what, you are always loved not only by us but by God who loves his children more words can describe. Always continue to stay strong in him like you always have.  Your an angel & you always be :) 

Permalink Reply by God's Helper on July 16, 2012 at 7:35pm

Sandra

Do you know what you are doing to satan when you talk to our Father?  you aren't giving him the power to hurt you. please know you aren't worthless in our eyes but most of all please know that you are loved by Him and always were and always will be loved by him. God put you here for a pruopse just pray and ask Him to reveal it to you and He will...remember God loves you and so do we.

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