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Forgiveness
Saints I am surrounded by people at work that I know are not real, what I mean by this is they are gossipers, liars, untrustworthy, it is so hard for me to say Good Moring to them. I know Jesus said we must love everybody, because if we don't how can we love him whom we have never seen and hate our brother whom we have seen, he says that we are a liar and the truth is not in us. So, what I have been trying to do is avoid people like this but in my work environment you cannot always do this. I ask the Lord to forgive me for thinking horrible things about these people but the truth is the truth, my question is how many times is he going to forgive me for the same offense of not loving these people?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jane Smith on
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Hi Nancy,
Someone once gave me a good answer to this- you try to get along with co-workers or a boss the best you can unless it becomes evil- at that point you leave. Those I know, including myself, who have been in this position always found a better job after we left. The Lord blessed us for not compromising with or putting up with evil and promoted us!
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I think a lot of us are in the same position, I have been praying for a while that I can find another job where I can work in a christian environment, its a sad fact that the world doesn't understand us. My colleagues are always out drinking or talking about getting drunk and I cannot get why they love to do this so much but they do not know God and their pleasures can only be satisfied physically and not spiritually. We can only keep praying that God will reveal himself. Whenever I think badly (which I do try not to but it is so difficult sometimes) I tell myself that God loves that person and by hating them I am hurting God. I have recently started praying for more tolerance and more positive attitude every morning when I am on my way to work.
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Permalink Reply by Carla on
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Hi Mary,
When we don't forgive others, we are grieving the Holy Spirit. The command is to forgive...when we don't forgive we are directly hurting the Holy Spirit. God reminded me of this today.
Forgiveness is very important because unforgiveness can lead to bitterness. Today I read in a book "Bitterness is a rancourness condition of the soul, poisoned by systematic brooding over the wrongs we blame on others."
The fact is, we can't change how other people behave. If they are not believers, we don't judge them, we are free to love them. It doesn't matter how they behave... They don't know the Lord. When they don't know the Lord, what do we expect them to do? They can only do what they know.
I know it's difficult to be around people who don't know and love the Lord. We are called to shine for Jesus, and love them... Show them how Jesus loves them and does not judge them. They will be judged, but that's not our job. The Holy Spirit wants to bring them into God's family... that's really what it comes down to. God wants them to be saved. You are there as a missionary to Glorify God. It's not about you, It's about God and His fame. It's about the free gift of salvation that is being offered to all people. You can preach the gospel without words. Our actions are very powerful. We are called to love. Not because of who they are, but because of who we are now as new Creations in Christ. There are many times that God will test us. This is possibly (probably) one of those times.
Blessings, Carla
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Permalink Reply by Mary Doris Jones on
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Thank You Carla for those words, You are right actions are very powerful, if you are truly a child of God it will shine through you. Thanks Mary Doris
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You are right simply Nancy I do not hate or dislike the people it is what they do I do not llike. I know I ccan change them only God can. Thanks for your reply Mary Doris
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Mary,
The Bible says to love the sinner...hate the sin. I think a good thing is to search for the things that you like about them. If someone is wrong, I tell them they are thinking wrong. If they are lying, I tell them that I don't believe then. I point out their error, and I listen when they point out mine.
There are people that just clash with a person, don't hate them because they don't think as you do. After all, they might be right.
I personally have done much sinning during my lifetime. Christ paid the price of that for me. Who am I not to forgive another of their shortcomings? Christ died for them as well.
Mary, we live in a imperfect world. Each of us are part of that imperfection. Reverse the situation...do you want some one to hate you because you took a misstep? Not me. Do you want a person not to forgive you? Not me.
Find their good points and think one those things.
Blessings, Mary, as you try to find peace in this situation...
Rita
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Rita,
Thank you so much. I do not hate any one if I do according to the word of God:"If I say I love him whom I have never seen and hate my brother whom I have seen I am a liar. And that I am not. I guess the the best way to put it Rita as you did I dislike their ways, but I can't change people they have to do that on their own or be willing to change on their own. I have been been betrayed by the last person on earth that I thought would protray me and that was my sister. I forgave her it took awhile, and I forgot about it. But, I am very cautious as to what I tell her or anybody else. You say find their good points, well their is smiling, laughter, and diaglouge. Thank you for that wonderful and enlightening answer. Mary Doris
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Permalink Reply by Amanda on
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Char, sometimes we do have to consider letting go of those relationships that are painful. God is working though and the hearts of the ones of whom you are speaking may change towards you and soften and repent and perhaps God wants to point something out to each of them, to help them mature in their faith. We tend to choose friends based on affinity. Sometimes we open up too much, too soon, and think we can trust someone, and then learn we could not trust them. Gossip is defined as:
gos·sip [ góssip ]
conversation about personal matters: conversation about the personal details of other people's lives, whether rumor or fact, especially when malicious
casual conversation: informal conversation or writing about recent and often personal events
habitual talker: somebody who habitually discusses the personal details of others' lives
Synonyms: chatter, chinwag, talk, chat, conversation (Encarta World English Dictionary)If that's what has been going on, then it is truly gossip and truly harmful.
I know it hurts.
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Char, if they are truly in Christ they will experience conviction for having hurt another member of the Body but whether they confess and repent will be within their liberty and they will face divine discipline until they do. If it was a constant happening then it was malicious in nature. I sometimes share a little personal info about someone with another person when I am very concerned for the person and requesting prayer or when I am hurt by the person and seeking to understand what was done to me. Yet, I have gone too far before, too, and have fallen under the definition of gossipping. Not habitually though but in a way that was mean and hurtful nonetheless. When I think of a habitual gossip, I think of Harriet Oleson from Little House on the Prairie. She was a very stubborn and snooty person. She saw herself as a good Christian woman but had disdain for people whom she considered poor and she looked down on others and could easily disregard them. I think she was really jealous of others. Once in awhile there were episodes where she did open up and cry and show her own vulnerability, but then she would go back to being Harriet. We are imperfect people who do imperfect things in an imperfect world. That doesn't make the hurt any less. One thing God has been teaching me lately is how to make forbearance more a part of my character--controlling oneself when hurt or offended. Yet, we can tolerate a person but not tolerate what the person has done. We forbear when someone is trying to repent, trying to change. Forbearance means not lashing out when something happens. It means not being harsh in judgment but allowing for the weaknesses and faults of others. It takes a lot of love. It takes God working in us.
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I avoid chat because I know one can be easily hurt by the words of others and I cause enough trouble for myself in the forum :)
We don't do people favors when we constantly go back and forth and carry tales of "he said, she said" and sometimes it is best to avoid situations where we will be prone to this type of behavior and may easily fall into the temptation to gossip. I know in my job we would often have case meetings and share private info about patients. When we are doing it in ways to help and connect with the person and seeking God's best for the person, I think we are not doing anything wrong. There was an incident when a hospice worker was pumping gas at a filling station and he saw someone from work and the two began to talk about a patient. They were oblivious that others could hear what they were saying and it happened that the person on the next pump fueling his car was the next door neighbor of the patient they were openly discussing. That neighbor ran straight home and went next door and said, Why didn't you tell me you were dying?
The patient had not yet accepted his own diagnosis. He was totally devastated at that moment by that comment.
We all often do very foolish things.
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Permalink Reply by Russell Tassett on
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I looked up that passage, 1 John 4:20, its heading came under Obedience by Faith...Here's what it says as a life lesson: Only when we try to obey God through our own power do His commandments feel burdensome. When we rely on His Spirit to enable us to do what we can't, we find great joy in obedience.
Hang in there!, Your Friend in Christ, Russell
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Permalink Reply by James on
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Strange, Amanda. I'd never have guessed that, but I guess what you say makes sense. Personally I find forums so difficult to communicate in. It's so overwhelming with so many posts that I can't read everything, and with all the in-your-face viewpoints in forums, it's more difficult to speak up and give a view, especially if you're certain many others posting in the forum disagree with it.
I find chat far easier to use because it's interactive and you can also private message people for private conversations. It's much easier to get to know someone on chat than in a forum I think.
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