When the intimacy in a marriage is no longer with just the two

I wonder if you can give me your opinions and advice, as I am not sure how to respond to this that I have been asked.

A friend has been married for almost 22years in the marriage they have three wonderful children, a marriage that was blissful, happy, to everyone this marriage was for keeps. My friend before she got married and after she got married read her Bible and prayed daily, went to Church her husband also a Christian did not strenghten spiritually as she did, life started getting hectic for this couple good things and sad things but they stuck it out.  They were married about 13yrs when he called her told her he had resigned and was going to start doing contracting work overseas, she was shocked and just like that life changed she became mother, father to the children he would go away for 6 to 8 weeks at a time be home for average of 4 weeks it continued like this for almost 7 years he is still doing it.  While this was happening he contacted her and asked if she would go onto a site on the internet when questioning him about it he said its a swingers site, she didnt even know what a swinger was needless to say found out very quick with his explanation she was angry even felt bitterness towards him, she refused to go on.  He created a profile she didnt even know of then when he was at home he would start taking pics of her while she was showering or gettting out the shower, adventually it came out that he was putting her pics up on this site.  She was hurt but to keep the peace she kept quiet, he then continued talking about swingers and some clubs that are for the purpose of swinging, very upset about it as she married him as a virgin

As time went by she adventually gave in as she could no longer continue ignoring it also worried that if she did that her marriage would fail, asked him why he wants to do it he told her because it will "spice" up their marriage, she didnt understand as their were days he told her he cant keep up with her sexually.  They resorted to going to a swingers club joining and becoming members fearful nervous yet she went, all seemed ok after the first time of nothing happening they went again alcohol became her friend in the sense to block all out and if someone touched her sexually she would not have a care as she was too drunk to worry so yes she did have sex with others and so did him at times in the same room at times seperate she was so into thinking that this will save her marriage. 

Then while members at the club he became very friendly with another lady his wife suspected that their friendship went beyond the club adventually she realised there is feelings between the two after a fight that her husband and his lady friend had it was as if he couldnt function couldnt do a days work and one night she was on the net and started chatting to the lady friend at the end of about a 3hour chat she actually gave her husband and this lady permission to date.

Her husband and this lady would go out for dinners while she stayed at home with her son the other childrne were at friends, through all this she no longer was reading her bible was not praying daily was not even attending church. 

Each time her husband went out he would want her to go out and meet a man and have fun, he at times would take his lady friend out and even bring her back home.  He then started to go onto different sites they both did chat sites and he would then arrange to meet other ladies his girlfriend never knew of, the one day he even told his wife that she must leave the house with him he will drop her off at the mall and she can go have coffee while he meets another lady.  This they did he dropped her off late afternoon she ended up having coffee upon coffee upon coffee adventually ended up going and having dinner alone.  She kept sending him messages when he will be picking her up and he kept saying he would not be too long.  He adventually picked her up after 12 that night, by that time the mall was locked the basement was locked and she stood alone in the rain waiting for him, when he adventually got there he was fuming at her for spoiling his evening as him and his friend were having a braai and this friend had invited other friends of hers over to join for the braai

Their situation went from bad to worse to the extent that all the kids were away one weekend and they arranged for a swingers party at their house his girlfriend was there as well she told all that she has cancer and was not feeling well she went to lay down her husband was often missing for long periods of time each time she went to see where he was he was in the room with his girlfriend and they were having sex this continued till early hours of the morning

The swinging continued, their marriage starting to slowly fall apart got to the stage that the little time they had together was not theirs he would bring other ladies to the house while his wife was sitting outside he would take his lady friend to their room and have sex with them after he would tell her how wonderful this lady is as a person

She adventually started going to church again after not going for about a year, she then went on a chat site created site intending on making friends who are not in swinging and just be able to have normal conversations

She then started chatting to a guy who is younger than her he is not married and of a different color, they started chattng and getting to know each other she told him all about her and he told her swinging is wrong but kept her as a friend, he is a strong Christian and started daily talking to her about God about Jesus and the Bible as they were talking for about 5 months they never met and she adventually told her husband about this man, she was in love with him she never told her husband that part jus tthat she has met a person and they have been chatting and that she would love to meet him

Her husband was fine with it, and one day he wanted to spend a night with his girlfriend and asked if she wanted to go to this man for the night she did and nervous as she was met him they had booked a room they spent the night praying and talking about God yes they then did have sex she and he both see it as love making as they feel that God has brought the two of them together he also has gone through difficult relationships some very similar to hers, they both have broken ties with all people they have been with sexually

Each day they will pray together even apart but they will be having a conversation and will all of a sudden start praying they have even got a friend of hers to go with them to church, he has go her to go with to his church she used to go there about 15 years ago, they building their relationship on God

They remained friends and fell deeper in love they read the bible together they pray together even if it is on a sms

Things at her home got worse and worse and adventually she told her husband thats it she wrote him a letter and never gave it to him waiting for the right time the one time she told him that she wanted a divorce he was suicidal then she prayed and prayed and so did her friend they prayed that if this is what God wanted that He would let it happen in His time and guide them, the day came that again without even thinking of it she told him he took it okay while she was talking to him she gave him the letter, explaining how she feels he cried and burnt the letter apologised for everything but agreed that a divorce is the only way out, while they were still talking about it he started sending sms to someone she adventually checked on his bill for his phone and it was a different lady

Since then fights have happened arguing and now they are speaking and have reached an agreement on a settlement she has also checked again his itemised billing for his phone and called some of the numbers and they ladies different ladies each weekend since he has been out with ladies

He has gone back overseas for the 6 week period the lawyer has started with divorce proceedings, now he will tell her that he misses her loves her and wishes he can be sexually with her again the hatred and anger she felt for him is gone she loves him as a frriend but is in love with the other man, her husband now sends her facial pics he has taken of himself the date clearly shows it was taken on other days she asked him if it was taken for another woman he said yes but he couldnt get the pic sent to her, while this goes on she then starts thinking of all the naked pics he had of all different ladies on his phone

My friend is now confused is she doing the right thing, she loves God and believes that God has sent this other man to her who helped her get on the right path and she believes that he is the man for her, but does not understand why she feels so bad about asking for the divorce

What do I tell her that God wants her to or not, yes pray about it to get the answer but how do i help her