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All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

I AM GRATEFUL,  WASN'T ALWAY SO.  THIS MORNING I WOKE UP THINKING OVER MY LONG LIFE.  LOTS OF TEARS, HURTS, WRONG TURNS, AND LOTS OF HARD WORK,  BUT WHAT IF I HAD BEEN BORN INTO A FAMILY LIFE  THAT EVERYTHING WAS LOVING, WITH EVERYTHING MATERIAL I EVER NEEDED OR WANTED WAS PROVIDED. WHAT IF I WAS BEAUTIFUL, SMART, AND POPULAR IN SCHOOL, I HAVE OFTEN THOUGHT OF THE PERSON I WOULD BE...AS I HAVE TENDED TO BE JUDGEMENTAL, AND HAUGHTY IN MY PERSONALITY, I AM SURE I WOULD NOT BE A COMPASSIONATE, CARING PERSON.  I WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOST SOUL. I HAVE BEEN HUMBLED MANY TIMES,,EVERY TIME I START THINKING  HOW SMART, OR GOOD OR ANYTHING THAT IS OF ME, MY FATHER IN HEAVEN SAYS HOLD ON, YOU ARE ONLY BREATHING BECAUSE I ALLOW IT, YOU EAT, WORK, SPEAK, MOVE BY MY WILL.  HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO TOUCH MY SPIRIT TO GET THE TRUTH THROUGH TO ME.   GOD KNOWS WHAT WE NEED TO LEARN, AND GROW HERE. ALMOST DAILY SINCE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GO BACK TO WORK FOR THE HOMELESS MISSION, HE PUT SOMEONE IN MY PATH TO REMIND ME WHY I AM STILL HERE, AND WHY HE ALLOWED ME TO GO BACK TO WORK THERE, SOME TIMES I HEAR A WORD FROM SOMEONE PASSING THROUGH THERE THAT TAKES MY BREATH AWAY...IT IS LIKE HE IS TALKING TO ME, LETING ME KNOW, HE SENT ME THERE.   THIS IS ALL TEMPORARY, AND WE REALLY OWN NOTHING.  WE MAY HAVE A WONDERFUL CAREER, BEAUTIFUL HOME, BILLS ALL PAID.  PEOPLE LOOK AT US WITH ENVY, FEAR, AWE, AND THINK HOW LUCKY WE ARE, HOW LOVELY WE ARE, BUT THE INSIDE SPIRIT IS SO EMPTY, LONELY, CONFUSED.  WE NEED MORE, AND MORE OF EVERYTHING.  WE ARE NEVER FULL, WE ONLY HAVE A MOMENT OF JOY, IT IS GONE IN A FLASH.  THEN WE ARE EMPTY AGAIN, NEEDING TO BE FILLED UP WITH STUFF, AND LIES.   DRUGS, AND ALCOHOL NOW THERE IS AN ESCAPE,,,,RIGHT,,,,IT NOT ONLY DESTROYS US, BUT EVERYONE, AND I REPEAT EVERYONE THAT REALLY LOVES US.  THE ENEMY WHISPERS LIES IN OUR EARS,,,AND WE BELIEVE IT...WE THINK WHO CARES....IF THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE US TRY TO HELP US WE HATE THEM FOR IT AND ALL WE WANT FROM THEM IS THAT THEY PROVIDE FOR US SO WE CAN GO INTO OUR HIDEY HOLE, AND NOT THINK, WE REALLY DON'T CARE HOW HORRIBLE IT IS ON THE LOVED ONE'S BROKEN HEART, AND TEARS.   LOOK AROUND THIS PLOY OF satan  IS EVERYWHERE..MY AGE GROUP GREW UP WITH VERY LITTLE, SO WE TRIED TO GIVE OUR CHILDREN ALL WE COULD,  THIS WAS NO FAVOR TO THEM.  WE SEE THE RESULTS, HOW WILL THEY SURVIVE WHEN THE BOTTOM FALLS OUT, AND IT DOES FOR SO MANY, IN A MOMENT EVERYTHING MATERIAL CAN BE LOST, AND IT CAN BE LOST FOREVER.  ..I WOKE UP FEELING GRATEFUL TO GOD THIS MORNING,  BORN IN A COTTON MILL VILLAGE,  DADDY ABANDONED US EARLY, MOTHER'S BROKEN HEART NEVER MENDED, BUT I WAS GIVEN A GIFT SO WONDERFUL...A PRAYING GRANDMOTHER.  THERE WERE 4 OF US...NO INDOOR PLUMBING, NO CENTRAL HEAT, AND AIR...FIREPLACE IN THE MIDDLE ROOM ONLY...HEAVY DUTY SHOES ONCE A YEAR, THEY HAD TO LAST A LONG TIME.  OLDER COUSIN'S HAND ME DOWNS...THOUGHT I WAS RICH.....LOTS OF BEANS, CORNBREAD, AND FRIED POTATOES.  DON'T EVER REMEMBER BEING HUNGRY.  I HAVE SPENT A LIFETIME TRYING TO FORGET HOW I LONGED, AND CRIED FOR MY DADDY TO COME HOME EVERY DAY.  HE PASSED AWAY 4 YEARS AGO AND STILL COULDN'T LOVE US. I HELD OUT HOPE FOR HIS LOVE UNTIL STANDING OVER HIS BED AS HE TOOK HIS LAST BREATH.  HE JUST DIDN'T LOVE ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.  I PRAY FOR HIS SOUL.  I DAILY STRUGGLE WITH FORGIVENESS BECAUSE OF THIS....THANK YOU LORD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HELP US WITH THESE SHORTCOMING, HAD A STEP FATHER, THAT DIDN'T LIKE US, BEAT MOTHER, US KIDS SOMETIMES, AND RESENTED FEEDING US AND PUTTING A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS,  BUT HE TAUGHT US MANNERS, THE HARD WAY.  I DID NOT ASK THE LORD TO FIND ME A HUSBAND, SO I DID IT MY WAY,,WRONG,,,NOW ALSO MY CHILDREN HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS ARROGANCE.  MARRIED AGAIN,,WRONG...DIDN'T LIKE MY SONS....I MADE DECISIONS ON MY OWN, AND THERE IS ALWAYS A PRICE TO PAY....NOW LOOKING BACK,,,,,I SEE SO MUCH MORE CLEARLY HOW I DID IT MY WAY, AND HE STILL DIDN'T LET GO OF ME....I MADE IT HARD ON MYSELF AND MY LOVED ONES.  I KNOW IT WAS A LEARNING TIME,,,I HAVE LIVED HARD, AND AT THE TIME I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HARD,   I HAVE HAD THE LOVELY HOME, AND ALL THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE SEE AS SUCCESS, AND I STILL WAS SO EMPTY.   NOW I AM BACK TO NOT MUCH.....HAVE A ROOF, AND FOOD, CAR, AND SON ARE STILL ALIVE, GIVING THEM TIME FOR SALVATION, I EVEN HAVE A JOB, AND SOCIAL SECURITY.  AND I DESERVE NOTHING,,,BUT GOD LOVE ME SO, AND HE HAS FORGIVEN MY SELFISHNESS, AND HE HAS GIVEN ME A GRATEFUL HEART.  DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY I AM SHARING THIS NOW, BUT IT SORTA SURROUNDED ME THIS MORNING.  I DO HAVE A TEMPER LIKE PETER, OR IS THAT MY EXCUSE,,,I LOST IT TWICE THIS PAST WEEK.  I HAVE BEEN ASHAMED OF MYSELF BECAUSE OF THIS, AND IT HAPPENED SO FAST IT SHOCKED ME.  RIGHT NOW I WANT TO PLEAD THE PRECIOUS, POWERFUL BLOOD OF JESUS OVER MY ENTIRE BEING,,,ESPECIALLY MY MOUTH,  AND I PLEAD HIS PRECIOUS BLOOD OVER MY ENTIRE FAMILY, AND OVER EACH AND EVERY SOUL THAT IS READING THIS RAMBLING POST OF MY HEART.  HE IS AWESOME, HE IS COMING TO GET US, AND TAKE US HOME, THIS IS TEMPORY, AND WE WHO BELIEVE THE LIVING WORD NEED TO KNOW HOW BLESSED WE ARE NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION IS HAPPENING IN OUR LIVES.  WE ARE GOING HOME WHEN THE TIME IS PERFECT.  IN ACTS 16:31 OR 32, CAN'T REMEMBER, HE PROMISES TO SAVE US, AND OUR ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD, I HANG ONTO THAT SCRIPTURE WITH BOTH HANDS FOR MY LOVED ONES.  THIS IS NOT A SAD TALE, IT IS A REMINDER THAT IF WE LOVE THE LORD, REPENT, AND TURN FROM EVIL NO MATTER HOW AWFUL WE HAVE BEEN SOMEDAY WE WILL GO HOME, NO PAIN, NO TEARS, WOW....NOW YOU'ALL THIS IS REALLY GOOD NEWS.  ALL US REBELS HAVE TO COME THROUGH THE FIRE.  HE IS NOT THROUGH WITH ME...STILL STUMBLING AND LEANING ON HIM.   THE MANAGER AT WORK CAN'T STAND ME, SO SEE GOD IS STILL SHINING ME UP.  THE HATEFULNESS IS WHY I LOST MY TEMPER...NEED PRAYER TO JUST SMILE, AND GO ON, OR HER HEART TO CHANGE TOWARD ME...I KNOW YOU WILL ALL BE PRAYING FOR ME.  I AM PRAYING FOR YOU ALL.  GOD BLESS, AND KEEP US ALL SAFE FROM ALL HARM, AND ALL EVIL.....JESUS IS LORD, PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME.   LOVE IS THE GREATEST OF ALL....

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Replies to This Discussion

Beautiful Lord and Savior. Wonderful testimony.

You have a very wonderful testimony!!!!! The Lord gave you all those things!!!!!!!! I am very glad you shared that!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE ONLY BREATHING BECAUSE I ALLOW IT, YOU EAT, WORK, SPEAK, MOVE BY MY WILL.  HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO TOUCH MY SPIRIT TO GET THE TRUTH THROUGH TO ME -- a realization of a heart humbled by His grace...Hallelujah! 

 

THIS IS ALL TEMPORARY, AND WE REALLY OWN NOTHING.  WE MAY HAVE A WONDERFUL CAREER, BEAUTIFUL HOME, BILLS ALL PAID.  PEOPLE LOOK AT US WITH ENVY, FEAR, AWE, AND THINK HOW LUCKY WE ARE, HOW LOVELY WE ARE, BUT THE INSIDE SPIRIT IS SO EMPTY, LONELY, CONFUSED.  WE NEED MORE, AND MORE OF EVERYTHING.  WE ARE NEVER FULL, WE ONLY HAVE A MOMENT OF JOY, IT IS GONE IN A FLASH.  THEN WE ARE EMPTY AGAIN, NEEDING TO BE FILLED UP WITH STUFF, AND LIES. --- seeing life here on earth from the perspective of eternity...

 

HE JUST DIDN'T LOVE ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. --- I was there too. Now, in His grace, I am learning the meaning of love and He is calling you and me to live in it...

 

I HAVE HAD THE LOVELY HOME, AND ALL THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE SEE AS SUCCESS, AND I STILL WAS SO EMPTY.-- It is great to hear these words from those who have been there so that others who are still aspiring to go there would see in advance the vanity of an empty life...Thank you!

 

DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY I AM SHARING THIS NOW --- So that we can see our story through your story...

 

HE IS AWESOME, HE IS COMING TO GET US, AND TAKE US HOME, THIS IS TEMPORY, AND WE WHO BELIEVE THE LIVING WORD NEED TO KNOW HOW BLESSED WE ARE NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION IS HAPPENING IN OUR LIVES.  WE ARE GOING HOME WHEN THE TIME IS PERFECT.--- Home sweet home! This is not our home. We are pilgrims in this world. In His time, we will be in our permanent residence...

 

I KNOW YOU WILL ALL BE PRAYING FOR ME.  I AM PRAYING FOR YOU ALL....Let us remember each other in prayer...May God richly and continually bless your life and use you as a mighty witness of His grace!

Beautiful response - Thank you, Ruel.
You're welcome Roy.

Ruel, thank you for seeing my heart...God bless you and yours....

 

 

 

I am grateful...
I have a bad temper, and it has been hard to keep jobs in the past. I feel I am being criticized when someone says something to me. God will forgive you if you ask Him too. You are a beautiful person Sherry inside and out my sister in Christ. God bless you and your family. I pray for you to have the confidence everyday to go on with everyday life.

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