When Godly Brothers Dispute and Divide ___Part 1

What happens when we forsake refreshment for pride? What happens when Godly brothers miss God's will and divide?

Sometimes, in the middle of good works being done by Godly brothers in the Lord, disputes and disagreements can arise. How do we handle that? What does Jesus want us to do, when two good people disagree sharply enough to part ways? Should we accept that, and just split up? Or is there a higher call for us, as Christians – as disciples of the master, to live differently?

I know some good brothers, men who I admire and deeply respect, who have parted ways over a disagreement. Frankly, it’s deeply troubling. The dispute leaves good people in the middle who are now compelled to sort out the situation and unfortunately choose allegiances between them. We have seen this happen in history, and it hurts the work of God… doesn’t it?

Jesus said “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35) and he prayed for unity of all believers in 17:9-11. Yet, sometimes we Christians fail to live out the purpose of God in this regard. Yes, it is a failure on our part when we allow the enemy to divide us apart from truth and apart from the body.

Does this mean that the purposes of God will fail? Not at all. Nor does it mean that if one or both of those brothers continue to succeed in the work of God that they have a moral high-ground, if they are unwilling to be reconciled in Godly sincerity. A decision to harbor bitterness and angry contention against a brother is a sin. It gives the Devil a foothold in our lives. (Ephesians 4:26-27) We are called to be ministers of reconciliation, as ambassadors of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:19-21), agents of Christ reconciling the world to God. How then can we fail to be reconciled to one another – especially as “ministers of reconciliation”?

There is a significant case where this happened in the early church, in a dispute between The Apostles Paul and Barnabas. And I believe that we are expected to learn from their example – you see the passages that Paul wrote about reconciliation, not giving the Devil a foothold and being ambassadors as ministers of reconciliation came after Paul had the bitter experience of parting ways in anger with his friend Barnabas (as we see it recorded in Acts 15:36-40).

36Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." 37Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40but Paul chose Silas and left,

We have no record of Paul and Barnabas ever meeting together again, after this time. Apparently, they were so upset with one another that they never spoke again. About 8 or 9 years later, Barnabas was martyred while Paul was in custody of Centurions on his way to Rome, and speaking in his defense at the court of Festus.

Consider how grievous this was at the time: these men had been joyfully sent out by the great church at Antioch and served together boldly on a highly successful missionary journey. They both loved the Lord Jesus and were both so committed to the Gospel that they were used by God to establish most of the churches in eastern Asia Minor. Yet, now they were sharply divided enough to split up forever! How disappointing that must have been to the Christians at that time.

Well, hindsight is always clearer, isn’t it? So, can we discern who was right and who was wrong? Yes …and maybe not. I am convinced that both men were right about their principles and their convictions; and yet both men were wrong about their conclusions and choices.

Paul had identified that John Mark was too immature and unreliable for the work ahead. He was not ready for the intense journey and the demands of faith that the ministry would require; and he would hinder the work. Paul was right to be clear on that and refuse John Mark at that time. He was wrong, however in how he handled it – because he argued bitterly with his encouraging companion Barnabas – who was arguably the most ardently faithful and encouraging man in the church; the best companion Paul ever had, was convinced that Paul’s conclusion was wrong. Paul should have considered the relationship involved and that Barnabas needed to mentor this young disciple.

Barnabas was right to insist on continuing to mentor his young cousin John Mark. Barnabas was the “Son of Encouragement” a man of great faith and conviction in the Lord. Barnabas saw a great love for Christ in his cousin and he saw the work that God was doing in him. He accepted John Mark’s weaknesses and knew that God would build his faith in good time. However, he was wrong to challenge Paul’s authority. It was clear by this time that God had set Paul apart as the “Apostle to the Gentiles” and that Paul was the authority on the trip. It was clear that Paul was right about John Mark’s weaknesses and that he was not ready for the demands of this missionary journey ahead. Instead of the harsh disagreement, Barnabas should have accepted Paul’s authority and parted with him without such hostility.

How do we know this sad chapter was the end of their relationship? Well, for one, the only words that Paul subsequently wrote about Barnabas until his death were uncharacteristically critical. Also, the two men didn’t just head in different directions, they split off without any continuing words or interaction. That’s harsh – after all that they had been through. If they had remained friends, there would have been continuing interaction to share their experiences and mutual needs for prayer and encouragement. But, we see nothing – there is no record anywhere of their interaction in that decade.

Then there is the remorse. You see, shortly after Barnabas’ death, Paul writes several things that reveal his regrets about the matter:
1. He wrote in Colossians 4:10 in very respectful terms of John Mark being the cousin of Barnabas, and by virtue of that relationship alone he insisted that John Mark be welcomed at the Colossian church. (no doubt that the earlier rift was well known to them at that time).
2. After Barnabas’ death, Paul and John Mark re-establish a relationship, which culminated in Paul commending John Mark several times to other believers in the churches which Paul and Barnabas had established together. (Colossians 4:10, 2 Timothy 4:11, Philemon 1:24).
3. The letters that Paul wrote immediately after learning of Barnabas’ death include themes of the great importance of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:19-21), resisting conflicts and strife (Galatians 5:16-25), the essential need for humility, patience love and a unifying bond of peace, in the love of Christ (Ephesians 4:2-3). He wrote to Philemon that same year and in just 23 verses he pled with Philemon for reconciliation, with the themes of “fellow worker” and “love for all saints” and “encouragement” and “separation”; he repeatedly urges a sense of brotherhood and forgiveness and restoration so that there can be a refreshing.
4. I imagine that when Paul wrote about the fruits of the Spirit “…faithfulness, gentleness…” he saw the face of his companion Barnabas in his mind. I feel his stinging sense of regret when he wrote “The acts of the sinful nature are… hatred, discord… selfish ambition, dissensions…” (Galatians 5:19-20) or “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other?” (Galatians 5:25)
5. I cannot imagine that Paul ever spoke the word “encouragement” without considering Barnabas. Indeed, in each of the letters he wrote immediately after Barnabas’ death, Paul used that word twice – double what he had done in his previous works. The book of Philippians is entirely focused on encouraging the church. His final letter, 2nd Timothy ends with a crescendo – you got it – on the word “Encourage”: “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” The structure of the sentence in the Greek puts a big emphasis on that word and then follows with a double underline that it should be with great patience and careful instruction.

So, it seems to me that Paul had his life greatly impacted by this broken relationship. I hear a sense of sorrow and grief in his letters, in his passionate appeal for unity and reconciliation. Perhaps he thought about it too little, until it was too late; and then he couldn’t stop thinking about what was lost when he lost his relationship with Barnabas for the rest of time.

I would like to encourage any reader: don’t let division and conflict, inspired by the enemy, destroy what God has given you in your Godly relationships. It’s okay to disagree. These Apostles each had valid reasons to disagree. There were important issues, based on solid principles, in conflict at a crucial juncture in their ministries. The disagreement wasn’t the problem. Their division was the problem.

We must be careful not to let disagreement cause division in the body. We must remember who we serve and what we live for! We must be reconciled to our kin in Christ. We must not let Satan destroy us or hinder the work of God, by allowing a root of bitterness to grow in our hearts toward one another. It is what we conclude and the actions we take that must involve Godly humility.

Ironically, Barnabas was buried holding his own copy of the Gospel of Matthew, written in his own hand. In Matthew 18, it is recorded that Jesus warned about broken relationships with our brothers, and it is there that Jesus gave a mandate and clear direction for Godly and principled reconciliation. Imagine how much more might have been accomplished in their work, if those two men had reconciled and shared with each other, what God was doing in their lives, after they parted.

Think about the grief this division caused among the brothers who knew them both and loved them both. Think about what that cost the church in those days. Is it possible that the centuries later divisions between east and west was a harvest that was sown by a disagreement between these two men? Paul’s ministry primarily went west and Barnabas’ ministry stayed primarily east. It seems that the conflict between these two brothers compelled other people to choose an allegiance to one or the other. Yes, Paul tried to heal that and his words are profound and beautiful. But, what if he and Barnabas had lived the example, rather than giving us words?

Is this a story about two prideful men? Yes, I think so. Instead of sorrow at the loss of a dear friend, they could have each been rejoicing at each other’s successes and each received necessary encouragement during their trials. Instead of regret, they could have received refreshing from one another. It takes humility, but the refreshing we receive is well worth the cost and the strength that it gives to the body is essential.

Be reconciled!


Next time:
When Godly Brothers Dispute and Divide ___Part 2

How God works, in all things (even divisions and disputes), for the good of those who love him and to accomplish his great purposes inspite of our weaknesses.