What to do, what to do...

There's so many things that come at a person. I want to witness to the JW. But, I read someone's post that I should have a mature Christian with me. I would love that! I don't want to doubt God that He'll send someone...It'd be so much easier if a brother or sister in Christ would talk to them with me!

I'm wondering. Since, I'm almost a two year child in Christ am I mature enough? I don't want to have any of my negativity hurt the Body of Christ.Forgive me for anything that I said was negative... I know it's a bad idea to hold it in and not say anything, so what do I do? I don't want to do anything to hurt anyone with my posts...A though came to my mind but I don't know if I should say it...

Bad move on my part, I can tell my heart hardened a little more...

Satan/his demons plant bad thoughts....or maybe it's just my flesh.

"Am I worth it? What could I possibly be worth to Jesus or the body?"

Honestly, I know I'm not mature enough...I don't have a very strong spiritual life. I don't have much to spiritually "nourisment"(I know I spelled that wrong). I once had a case of Christian CDs and I didn't take care of them and lost them! I know salvation is by Christ alone and not by works...I just don't understand how...what could I possibly do for Jesus or anyone in the body? It'd be different if I had a Christian to fellowship with face to face. And there's that deep self pity, that sin that doesn't want to leave. Saying "You'll oneday have to leave this forum, than you won't have one single Christian to fellowship with."

I'd love to hear Jesus' voice...I need to hear that comforting voice... 

I'm mixed up....If I could only share Jesus with them. I know it's up to God and not me...there's so much that goes through my mind.

And now I'm concerned if I'm hurting the body since I've had alot of negative posts. Yet, if I hold it in I'll still hurt the body...

:sighs: I know Jesus doesn't see it this way but why do I seem like a hopeless case?

I want to be with Jesus so much. I yearn for Him for than I'll finally be at peace. I want to be like one of those people in a Christian movie. The person has issues but there's a friend right there...and eventually things turn out all right. I would love to see a Christian face to face. Get told it'll be ok and be given a great big hug that would last awhile. It'd be a big hug, we'd ebrace each other fully arms wrapped around each other. And, you know how some people rock back in forth when they hug? Yeah, that'd be nice. We'd hug for awhile and rock back and forth. Rocking is soothing for me. And the person could say in my ear, "Everything will be ok as long as Jesus is here."