What's wrong with me?

I feel like something really dark has happened and I've blocked it out. It's like I've known about it unsobconchently for a long time but never understood. I tried to tell about it in creative writing in 12th grade in my stories. Stuff like being chased. And even in a Christmas story about a monster coming after a little girl. The teacher that came in and talked to the creative writing teacher would listen to our stories and stuff. She was upset because the girl died in the story. She never seen behind what I was really trying to say...I was trying to explain my pain. There was so many ways I tried to explain my pain in those stories. Neither of them ever got what I was really trying to say.

Am I crazy? I hope not...

I still don't understand. It's like it's been blocked in my mind but my mind never forgot. It's like something happened to me a long time ago so traumatizing that I mentally blocked it out. It's like there's pain so deeply rooted in me...