WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?

I woke up this morning with a troubled heart. I have so many things tugging me in every direction that I feel like I am a one person basketball team, covering all positions and still trying to make all the shots. There's career choices and direction...mounting vet bills...Itty Bitty my cat has been staying at the vet for the last 5 days because she is very sick...credit cards...home repairs...home owner association dues, the house next door is for rent...hope someone normal moves in...the car needs new brakes...I've got a bad sinus infection and some major asthma attacks over the last 4 days...prednisone and antibotics from the doctor...I've missed the last 2 weeks of church...feeling out of touch. I'm a chicken running around with my head cut off. That's kind of gross but you know what I mean. You've been there before, too.

I waded across the living room thru dogs, cats and dog toys to get to my recliner. I sat down and wallowed in my own pity party because of all the things I mentioned above. I started having a conversation with God about how my life is a mess right now...and on and on. How did things get so crazy when just a few weeks ago everything seemed so normal? What happened? What changed?

The answer is me. I'd changed. Things had been going so well for me that I decided I could slack off on my prayer time...my studying the bible...my focusing on God's use of me for his greater purpose. I became the very thing I warn others about- complacent. It's so easy to do and it happens to all of us at times. It just snuck up on me this time. I mean here I am in a weekly bible study and reading the bible almost every day for that. I've been praying too. So how could this have happened? It happened because my motivation for doing those things had changed. I was reading my bible more than ever in my life...but I was motivated by needing to complete the homework and be prepared for the class. I was still praying...but I was motivated by a mental checklist of "Ok, cross that one off the list today". I was motivated by the wrong things. I had forgotten who God is. But I remember now.

He is my source of strength and renewal. That is why I should be studying his word. He is my source of strength and renewal. That is why I should go to him in prayer. He is my source of strength and renewal. That is why he should be my center. And starting today, I reclaim him as my source of strength and renewal. Not just today...but always.

God, it's so easy to become distracted from you. It's so easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we are doing the right things for the right reasons. Help us remember you as our source of motivation this day and always. Amen.