updated testimony

Hello guys, my name is Miranda, and today I'm gonna share my testimony with you.

First off I think it’s vital for you all to know about my past and where I came from.

I came from a broken home, where love and acceptance wasn’t always present.

When I was young, I started to get into drinking and drugs due to the lack of guidance and love from my family.

At age 8, I started to cut and really began to get into this really deep and dark depression that was so hard to overcome.

I did not know God and did not think there was an emergency escape route.

So thus this black hole I spiraled into was going at lightning speed.

My home life was always something that impacted me greatly.

My Dad left when I was 2, and later on in life my Mom met an abusive man who is now known as my step dad.

He would physically, emotionally, and verbally abuse me.

I thought for the longest time that this was okay, and that I deserved every name he called me and every punch he throw at me.

But when I got older, I finally couldn’t take it anymore and started to fight him back. Not physically, but verbally and using my size to my advantage.

Every time he and my mom would fight I would always get into the middle of it, and stop him from hurting her.

Eventually he only came after me.

One day I decided not to take it anymore. I literally walked out the back door of my Mom’s house and have never been back.

I moved to my Dad’s in Sylvan lake, and from there that’s where God started to come into my life.

Bailee is the person that brought me to a little Presbyterian youth group and since then, I’ve been stuck.

I remember thinking that nothing could ever set me free from my pain and suffocation.

So for a year I went to youth every Wednesday night, but still didn’t completely believe that God was in fact real!

Around this time I was starting to experience new struggles...the fact that I thought being cool was number one!

So I

began to become really rude and mean, and, well, really preppy. I only hung out with the people who had money, and I only wore name brand clothing.

Then I moved here and that really broke me. It felt like, to me, that I wasn’t just leaving my friends, I was leaving the only thing that made me happy.

So I tried to kill myself. I’m not going to get into it, but one thing I remember clearly is that I said to God that if He was real, and if He was everything that

my youth pastor said He was, then I wanted Him to take me in and guard me, because I didn’t want Satan to win.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I had cut my wrists to the point that they wouldn’t stop bleeding, and also I took a brand new full bottle of Tylenol.

I could literally feel the life pour out of my arms. I stayed awake all night. No matter how hard I tried to fall asleep, I couldn't. My dad found me laying there,

almost passed out, and I couldn’t walk so I had to go to the hospital. from there the doctors had to pump my stomach and stitch up my wrists. i was delerius through pretty much all of it and not to mention really scared. after that my dad didnt trust me with anything so he cleaned out my room and pretty much everything i could possibly use to harm myself.

In Febuary of 2009, I came to this youth group for the first time, and everyone was welcoming!

If you ask anyone that new me then, I didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t want to be hurt again so I put up a wall.

After the first night there...well, let’s just say that the following night I accepted Christ as Lord and Savior in my life. But then Pastor Luke called me up

and everyone laid their hands on me. It felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders!!

That’s when I really began my real life changing walk with God.

I strived to do my best, and at that time God had placed a wonderful person in my life to help me.

Some of you might know her, her name is Candice. She showed me the love God had for me, and how He isn’t a quitter, even when things get tough.

So from there everything was up hill...at least until the summer time.

I went to Australia, and there God shaped and molded a lot of my heart.

But something happened while I was there. On August 5th, 2009, my best friend had taken her own life. It COMPLETELY shattered my heart...it was 17 days before her 16th birthday.

When we where little, we had this line from a song, "Even though we are miles apart, you’re forever in my heart."

God really carried me through that though. I think it was worse then all the hurt I have ever faced in my life put together.

But I used God's strength to get through that time, and eventually the pain was no longer hurting even though it was still there.

October 18th was when I was baptised.

But there is something else that happened around that time. A week before I was baptised, I had a secret that I could not hold in any longer.

So I told Danielle, and she offered me a strong hold, even though I was scared. She helped me through what I had to do, and Pastor Luke and Chelsea were also there.

I’m going to tell you what it is, but first I want you to know I’m not saying this because it’s something that has to be said. Well, it is, but it’s something that God has told me that you guys needed to hear.

So here it is: When I lived with my mom, I wasn’t just physically, mentally, and verbally abused, I was also raped, almost everyday from the time I was 9 to the time I was 12 years old. It finally stopped when I moved in with my Dad.

You see, God answered my prayers and now I know that His will WILL be done.

I really struggled with that in the days leading away from that. Satan took advantage of that, and told me that I deserved everything. And you know what, at first I believed him.

I continued to cut, but I still found comfort in God at the same time.

And even though I've gone through many struggles, one that I have just overcome now is my dad leaving me, he had cheated on my step mom so in result he had to leave. my dad gave me the option of leaving with him but i chose to say, when i told him my desision he nodded his head and left. i felt so abandoned and unloved. i didnt hear from my dad for a week no, phone calls or anything, i hounestally thought something bad happened to him, and that some how it was my fault but I know that even when my earthy father is not present, my heavenly father is at my side.

This last summer I went to Pembina Bible Camp, and it was a blast! but also i learned at that particular time as forgiveness. i forgave my Dad, my Step-dad, and everyone else this this world that hurt me.

I got a prophecy spoken over me, and it said "Miranda, i have gaven you the strangth before, i'll give it to you again, you will be a nation shacker. at this point i was crying my eyes out and had a sudden urge to run to the front. from there i fell to my knee's and cried even harder, but as the tears flowed i began to feel this sort of joy and peace so i began to laugh, many you know it as being slain in the spirit, so for about an hour i rolled on the floor laughing my butt off. and then finally i stop and started to cry again,i sat on the pew and started to think, then Britteny came towards me and put her hand on me i remember excatally what she said " i feel this heart aching pain and its not mine, i feel like my heart is broken into tiny peices and i cant put them back together.. i love my family so much but they keep on hurting me." she left and i started thinking about what she said, i couldnt believe it.. she told me what i was feeling, and that everything would be okay then i had this thought that "even if im okay now, will i be okay when i went home? i desided that i wasnt going to shove this thought out of my mind, so i ran to Pastor John, something increadible there is that he prayed over things in my life that i haven't told him, and from there i was baptised in the spirit. so on the 21st of July, I finally quit hurting myself. I made a promise to God that that was the last time.

And I'm pleased to say that I have kept that promise! Today I'm striving to be everything that God has called me to be, because time is precious. i have learned through all my life struggles that god isnt someone who leaves work unfinished. And i want you all to know that he wants to love you, he wants to be your Daddy, and someone you can run to for help. Even in my darkest hours i still find comfort in Christs' name.