Trusting … especially when we question

Trusting … especially when we question.  2 Timothy 1.12

Good Day. 

Don’t think I had ever been to Burbank before … until yesterday.  Have watched plenty of Bugs Bunny shows, but never saw Warner Bros. studios either . . . until yesterday, when I spent a couple hours a stone’s throw away from the studio gates and sprawling back lots.  It was a strange juxtaposition of creativity and potential, bumped up against huge loss, as I officiated at a painful memorial service. Oh, I know that all funerals, all memorials are difficult, but they are especially so, when there are dubious circumstances, and a premature death. 

Over the years, I have presided over services that were more or less ‘normal’ – the individual lived to be a good old age, and there was a lot to memorialize and cherish.  But then, I have also conducted several that were disturbing—a 23-year-old young man falls over dead in his mother’s cv bkitchen on a Sunday morning … a 50-something year old woman found dead in her bed, suspicion cast toward a hateful son-in-law … and my beautiful 50-year-old friend who died from her alcoholism.  Yesterday was one like that—solo driver in his car that went off an overpass, 50 years old, a lifetime of struggles with alcohol and drugs—a man filled with potential, but so tortured.  Leaving behind a splintered family with questions, guilt, sorrow and years of bitterness. 

‘For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto him against that day.’ Those are the words of a hymn that I remember singing as a little girl, standing next to my mama in a small Baptist church.  I did not understand the meaning, I will confess, until right now.  Oh, I loved the tune of that particular old song so much, which is why I could recall the words by memory today.

I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.   2 Timothy 1.12

What was Paul saying to Timothy in this verse?  What he was saying to Timothy, what this scripture is saying to us, should we take time to understand it is:

~Even when things are hard,

    Maybe especially when things are difficult, (like with Paul in prison)

      When I do not have solutions to problems,

         When I cannot answer the obvious ‘why’ questions,

           When things are not going the way I planned,

             When relationships are broken,

                When it appears there is only heartache on the horizon,

                    When tragedy has struck …

This is what I know for sure:  I know who I believe in--God Almighty--

                                                  and he is not only able, but will truly guard

                                                    my relationship with him, and the faith

                                                          I have placed in him, forever~

                                                         in life, in death, and for eternity.

Officiating at yesterday’s service for Russ was especially challenging because while Russ was Catholic, and believed in Jesus, his father and part of the family are Orthodox Jews; in addition, they have been broken apart for years from past pain and countless disappointments.  But it was my prayerful goal to honor the living, honor the dead, and honor my God.  With G-d’s help, I did just that, and praise be to him, it was a healing time, an honoring time, and a reverent one as well!

There will always be ‘Why’ questions, especially in circumstances like this one … why did he struggle so much?  Why did God let this happen?  Where were you, God?  Why? Why? Why?  Questions are natural and normal and God is certainly big enough to handle our questions. 

Somehow we seem to expect that from the hand of God should only come good things--whether or not we hold that hand in the first place--but the founder of the modern hospice movement, answered the question of ‘Where is God?’ With “God does not prevent the hard things that happen in this free and dangerous world, but instead shares them with us all.” Bad things happen, even to good people, in a broken, hurting world.  To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven…² even the things we do not understand. 

Why? What next, God?  What about me, God?  These are likely questions, but how about if we ask some questions of ourselves:  Who and how do I love?  What have I done with my life?  And am I ready for whatever is next?  Really, the substance of those questions/answers is all we can control, thus so important to consider.

One thing I know:  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.³ 

And the tune runs through my mind again, And I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto him until that day!

Christine

1 - Dame Cicely Saunders, The Question that Never Goes Away: Why   Philip Yancey, 2013

2 – Ecclesiastes 3

3 – Psalm 34.18