The Ideal: Work it Out - 1 Corinthians 7.8-16

The Ideal: Work it Out. 1 Corinthians 7.8-16

8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Good Morning.

It is not God’s will that people divorce. Period. Not even if HE is unkind or if you have fallen out of love with HER. You made a covenant before God. Whatever can be done to save a marriage—especially where children are involved—should be done. I personally know the pain that children endure from divorce, and it lasts for a lifetime. It is not an unforgivable sin, mind you, but ought at all costs, be avoided. Again, Paul is addressing questions the Corinthians had raised, such as, ‘okay, so I became a Christ-follower, and she is not . . . should I leave her? Can I leave her?’ Bear in mind, it was very easy for a man to obtain a divorce. And ‘would I be more devoted to Christ if I never married?’ Paul answers their questions.

It wasn’t such a strange question they asked about leaving a faithless, or less than faithful person; after all, one thing that can bring a marriage to its proverbial knees is being mismatched in faith. Sometimes one spouse ‘finds religion’ and the other is almost blindsided by the change in his mate. Or. . . a baby is born to the couple, and one of the young parents decides it is time to reconnect with the faith of his youth. In my case . . . I was a cradle Christian but not too annoying with it until God miraculously healed my toddler. THEN my world was radically rocked, and honestly, turned upside down. Not just for me though…for my spouse too. I was different afterward, and there was no going back. I knew what I knew, and I would never be the same. So, how does a married couple move forward with such lopsided devotion to their faith? Don’t get me wrong—he was a believer, just not zealous.

How to live in harmony with the disparity? Well, understand that the difference exists—for both of you. Since you are reading this, let’s assume that you are the more devoted follower . . . put yourself in your mate’s shoes. Just look at how you’ve changed! When Lee Strobel’s wife, Leslie, became a Christian, Lee felt almost like a jilted lover. Who was this Jesus that was consuming his wife’s attention?? Consider this statement: “She has found a person called Jesus with whom she claims to have a love relationship. To the partner left on the sidelines, this can be devastating news. He perceives their marriage has been attacked by an outside agency claiming his wife’s heart. He senses the loss of the earlier relationship with his spouse very deeply, even though the two of them still share the same home and bed. He feels that the exclusive, mutual love they had earlier is no longer there.”1 Dang, but that is good insight!

Now add to that-- she listens to Christian teaching on the radio, Christian rock, Christian everything, and gets up early to be with that Jesus . . . well, it just might drive a man crazy! Or her. Whoever she is, the more time she spends in the Scripture, her values will change too. So, after understanding that both mates feel the impact, the ‘more devoted’ should keep in mind a few things: fewer words are better.3 Do not constantly try to win over your mate with ‘come to Jesus’ pitches; instead, live your devotion to God out by loving your mate more, and I mean, with actions.4 Invite him or her to church with you, and do not be resentful when she declines. Pray that the Holy Spirit will draw your spouse closer to himself. Yet—remain true to your convictions, but always with humility.

Whatever the cause, spouses can be spiritually mismatched, and it is particularly incumbent on the more God-devoted of the pair to be a loving mate. Keep faith, hope, and love very alive!

That’s ‘the ideal’~

Christine

podcast: www.pastorwoman.com

1 British pastor, Michael Fanstone 2 - Suriving the Spiritual Mismatch by Lee and Leslie Strobel

3 Ecclesiastes 3.1 4 1 Peter 3.1