Strong Enough

It's been quite a weekend but a good one.  Six weeks ago, I separated from my husband and in doing so my goal has been to break a cycle.  This is going to be a very long journey because we are both broken from a previous marriage yet neither of us want our marriage to fail.  There has been very little contact after he finally understood I need some space for healing.  On Saturday, I felt the Lord leading me to attend church (our church has both Saturday evening and Sunday services to accomodate everyone), and I followed his lead.  This meant for the first time I would be attending the same service and the same church since our separation but I was doing it in response to Him.  When I got there, I asked our 15 year old son (my step-son who I love very much) if they were there and he sat by me in the front.  My husband sat in the back.  I told my son if his dad wants to pray with me during open prayer I was willing, again that is a huge step because of the no contact.  I went forward and he joined me and all I could do was allow the pastor to pray and all I could do was cry because I couldn't even express words.  The hurt is so deep but only God can heal the hurt that I feel (and him too).  The band played "Strong Enough" by Matthew West and I again broke down.  I so much feel God's presence working.  I do know one of the fruits of the spirit is long-suffering and both of us have a very long journey ahead of us both individually and gradually together.  It would be so easy to throw in the towel but I love my husband and he loves me.  We just have to get to a point of complete brokenness and surrender so God can heal us and show the miracle he has in store for us.  I'm not strong enough but my Father is an awesome God and I can do ALL thrings through Christ that gives me strength.  My continued prayer is for HIS strength and HIS wisdom.