SO LOST!

I’m so confused.  I cannot grasp the fact that God knows all my future decisions.  It makes me feel that my life is pre-determined.  If God knows all upcoming events, how come he wouldn’t be active in preventing me in making the “wrong” decisions?  I liked the idea that He didn’t know what I was going to do until I did it because of my free will.  I liked believing that he could see “potential avenues” I could take, should I follow the path he wants me to take.  When I think about the fact He already knows my fate, I feel so withdrawn from this world, like there’s a limit on how close I can get to Him because that was part of his plan or how much good I can do. 

            I began asking questions about my faith and the Bible because I wanted to understand God and grow closer to him.  All I feel I have done know is weakened my faith.    Everyday I’m having trouble living for God because my neurotic mind is focused on God’s all knowing of my future events.  I just wish I could settle this debate in my mind and return to my faith the way it was before.  I feel like God has pre-scheduled all the times he’s going to intervene in my life based on the decisions I’m going to make which makes me feel like our relationship has a limit.  It is so hard for me to break this mindset and have clarity.  I’ve been praying that God will make things clearer for me.  This way of thinking is severely limiting my day-to-day peace and ability to live for God.  Will praying for me do any good since God already knows what the end result of your prayer will be?  It’s these thoughts that are weakening my faith and I cannot get any closure.  I feel so alone. I want to got back to the peace, joy, and security in God’s palm that I felt before I began asking questions.