Roses & Thorns

Several years ago, The Lord showed me a rose.  I was sitting in my garden weeping.  I was weeping because my heart was broken.  I had recently surrendered my life to the Lord, and my husband was really mad… I mean really mad.  He wanted a divorce.  I was heartbroken.  So I sat down to speak with My Saviour…I sat on the stairs in my garden in front of the roses.  The Lord showed me the dirt, and told me about the roots beneath the dirt.  He told me that the roots have to grow in deep to support the plant, because the plant needs special pruning in order for it to grow and blossom.  Then, Our Lord showed me the thorns.  They were like a ladder (like steps) up to the blossoms.  Some of the blossoms were just slightly forming.  Some of them were in full bloom.  Some of the blossoms were dying.  Some of them were half open.  Jesus showed me that I was not quite a blossom yet, but I would be.  I was slightly forming.  The thorns were the pathway or the steps to being in full bloom.  They’ll hurt you if you’re not wearing proper gloves when you prune them.  The roses were recommended by my landscaper---I said ‘sure’ rather indifferently...  I didn’t really give it much thought.  I never used to like roses---only since coming to Jesus do I like them---this testimony is why.  My husband would buy me flowers (mostly before my conversion), but he never bought me roses, because he knew I didn’t like them.

   My husband’s hatred towards my faith was steady and increasing.  He was moving forward with plans to divorce me.  I kept praying.  I made lots of mistakes in this valley, because I was so hurt..but God always brought me back to the roses.

This devotion came to my attention the same day as God showed me the rose:

God comforts us when we’re afflicted and from His consolation we learn to comfort others.  The thorns in my life show me the beauty of God’s comfort and love.  Psalm 23:4; Psalm 119:50; 2 Cor 7:4; 2 Cor 1:4

This prayer followed the devotion;

My God, I have never thanked thee for my thorn!  I have thanked thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorn.  Teach me the glory of the cross I bear, teach me the value of my thorns.  Show me that I have climbed to thee by the path of pain.  Show me that my tears have made my rainbow.

Several years after that I was diagnosed with a congenital heart condition.  I was born with a bi-cuspid aortic heart valve and would need open heart surgery.  My husband changed towards me—instantly.  He realized he didn’t want to lose me, and he promised me he would not leave me.  He softened, and the persecution from him stopped.  He now allows my oldest son to attend the youth group at church.

God showed me this quote:  “And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful that the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

I received so many flowers while I was recovering…so many blossoms.

That was almost 4 years ago now, and I am fully recovered, and my marriage is blossoming also. 

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with stage 0 melanoma (it was the summer of 2012).  Skin Cancer.  Highly treatable—completely curable if caught early.  Thankfully, mine was caught early.  The day I found out, my husband and son were on a road trip together to Nova Scotia.  My husband was on the speaker phone while I was in the doctors office getting the diagnosis.  We’re thankful it was caught early.  My husband sent me 12 long stem red roses-- long distance….no thorns were on them.  I cried.

A couple days ago I was pruning an accidental rose bush in my garden.  I say accidental, because it is overgrown from my neighbours yard.  The root is on the other side of the fence, so I can’t get to it….but there is also a root that is attempting to grow in my garden…it’s almost directly under the fence, so I can’t get to it.  There are no blossoms on it.  It’s all thorns.  It was taking over that portion of my garden and threatening to hide my beautiful flowers that do have blossoms, so I decided to cut it out.  I went out with no gloves on---It seems I had forgotten my armor.  I got pricked by the many thorns…even as careful as I was.  I wasn’t wearing the proper gloves and I got hurt.  The Lord spoke to me and said “If you don’t put on your armor, you will get hurt.” 

I got the message loud and clear….

In this life, there are many thorns.  Make sure you are rooted in the right place—build your foundation on Jesus Christ and Him alone.  There is a steady process of us blossoming.  There are many times we must die, even when we have been blossoming in one particular area---there is always going to be change.  New blossoms will come.  God never changes, but our circumstances do change.  There is always pruning to be done.  Wear your armor so you don’t get hurt. 

We need to stand our ground, putting on the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness.  We need to walk in the peace that comes from the good news.  We need to hold up our shield of faith (protect yourself from those fiery arrows).  The helmet we wear is the helmet of Salvation... This is the assurance that we are God’s child.  Finally, the only offense we use, is God’s Word…This is called the sword of the Spirit.  Know it, memorize it, use it.  Pray at all times, and stay alert to pray for others

I fully understand that thorns will come into our lives…some we invite ourselves (natural consequences), some are uninvited.  I don’t really care where they come from, and I don’t think that matters…It’s harmful to dwell there. 

The truth is, that by our thorns, we will climb to Jesus, and our tears do make our rainbow.  You will be able to comfort others, but accept the fact, that you may not be able to comfort everyone.

If you don’t feel like you’re blossoming where you are…wait- on the Lord.  You will.  God is not finished with you yet.

I can’t wait to tell you more—right now---I’m waiting.

I hope the Lord continues to show me roses and thorns.  ...but maybe it will be something different.

Sunday October 13^th, 2013

God has been teaching me to be intentional... and He has also been teaching me to not care what others think, only what He thinks... He's teaching me that His definition of beautiful is what matters. I am beautiful because He is making me into someone who is beautiful.. someone who blooms just because it is in their makeup to bloom... not by personal effort or striving, but just out of being who God created me to be.

My husband took myself and the boys downtown Toronto to see an art sculpture which is on display at Nathan Phillips Square until the end of this month. 

There was a quote which my husband noticed first.. It was quite largely sprawled in lights for all to see.  He couldn’t read it because part of the words were blocked, we had to shift our position to see it clearly.  I almost disregarded it because of it being in the ‘secular world’... my mindset being, it doesn’t matter...  there’s nothing to learn here.  I was immediately convicted as I read the quote, and it cut through my soul exposing my pride and lack of understanding and poor assumption... There’s always something to learn.. Bring in discernment and wisdom of coarse, but there is always something to learn.

Here’s the quote:

“The rose is without why.  It blooms because it blooms.  It cares not for itself, it asks not if it is seen.”  ~ Johann Scheffler

I am reminded that there is so much work in me to be done yet.  But God spoke to my heart and reminded me that He is the one who causes me to bloom...and when I do, it will be a beautiful thing.  I'm not to care for praise, or acceptance or approval... or attention.  The author Johann Scheffler was a German Catholic Priest and Poet.... After pondering what might have inspired these beautiful words.... I'm certain it was a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

April 9, 2016

7 years ago the Lord put it on my heart to write a book... to tell my story, an autobiography.  I'm not real keen on this because it's vulnerable to be vulnerable, and more importantly, I don't know how to write a book.  Today I attended a work shop--to help me get started in telling my story.  It is geared towards living out the abundant life God calls us to, and the first steps in starting to tell your story.  The inspiring lady who held the work shop just wrote a book called "Life's Great Dare", her name is Christa Hesselink.  The workshop was inspiring and it really lit a fire underneath me to get going on this.... after all it's been 7 years.  It was a great day.

One of the reviews of this book says "A helpful guide for anyone on the look out for the deeper waters of life.  While we know that it may take a leap of faith, Christa reminds us that when in doubt, it's always better to jump afraid than to never jump at all." 

I opened the book, read the introduction and moved on to the first chapter to find the quote “And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful that the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

I immediately slammed the book shut with tears streaming down my face....  This is really scary stuff. 

I think God is telling me it's time to blossom. 

Maya Angelou writes: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

This describes me perfectly right now.