All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

Play nice in the sandbox. (peace and humility, cont.)

After writing on humility – specifically saying that, “Humility . . . so much to think about, but first we must value it, we must esteem it, and desire to be about it ourselves so that we will be teachable, quietly confident, patient, teachable, good listeners, courteous, forgiving, and known for giving others the benefit of the doubt—indeed, always believing the best of others!”

I had the following response from a Christian sister—“I am struggling with always believing the best of others from those who have knowingly treated me with abuse and continue to do so. I can see the behavior and begin the forgiveness process, which is what I am currently doing . . . but believing the best of these individuals is challenging for me because I don't believe that people who lie, cheat, treat others abusively are acting in their best. Can you help me with this?”

There are times when we see the underbelly of an individual, and it is simply not pretty; one’s deeds expose the blackness of his heart. In that case, the Lord would instruct us to pray for him; and the ‘benefit of the doubt’ would come in knowing that the good Lord can change the contents of his heart . . . and maybe only the good Lord! Then it is ours to leave that individual with the Lord—not to discuss him any further, and not do have dealings with him, lest he have the power to hurt us again and again.

Now, my friend may ask, but ‘what then do I do about being at peace with this fellow, or someone like him, if I have to be in his life’? James 3.18 clearly says, ‘Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness,’ and Jesus said, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.’¹ I want to be a son of God! In a relationship, it takes two to be at peace, Child. Our beloved Paul wrote to the church at Rome, ‘if possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.’²

Not everyone chooses to live in peace. I discussed good and evil urges that rage within people in “Why do people fight?” These things are part of the human condition—the human condition called sin. There are so many things that keep people from making peace—fear (what will she expect of me then?), pride (will that establish that I was the one at fault?), guilt (known sin or wrong), laziness (I could fix this, but it is easier to keep silent), etc.

So, what to do when you want to make peace, and the other party does not? Same thing as above, plus one more thing, maybe two. Carry the other person to God in prayer, leave him there, forgive him (by asking the Lord’s help), and be kind. Play nice in the sandbox. Back to Paul . . . ‘If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

“But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.³

The first time I read anything by Richard Foster was in 2002 . . . Oh, his Celebration of Discipline really spoke to me. One line of his though is brilliant; I have referred to it, time and again. It is out of a chapter on the spiritual discipline of solitude — God is your Justifier; rest your case with him. He elaborates, “We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. If I have done some wrong thing (or even some right thing that I think you may misunderstand) and discover that you know about it, I will be very tempted to help you understand my action! Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification. One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier.” It was the writer of Ecclesiastes who wrote simply, ‘let your words be few.’⁴