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All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

Good Morning. Forgiveness is God's invention for coming to terms with a world in which people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He began by forgiving us. And he invites us all to forgive each other. Lewis B. Smedes

While I am anxious to get to Acts chapter 2, it will have to wait another day; you'll see why. . .
It was early this morning when my telephone rang. Someone who had read "Thank you, Judas", yesterday's Morning Briefing, wanted to talk about it. You know. . . we were wrapping up chapter one of Acts, with discussion about Judas, who took his own life after betraying our Lord. Yesterday, I talked about the subject of betrayal. and beginning the process of healing through choosing forgiveness. (Aye. . . forgiveness is a choice, you know) The caller said the study was just what he needed--he had known he had to move past being mistreated by his boss at work--namely, the boss giving another man the position he had deserved. The caller had been devastated by the decision, and how it had affected him professionally and personally. Yes, it was time to forgive. . . time to move on. So, a little more on forgiveness.

Who do you need to forgive? ______________ _______________
What did they do? ________________________________________________________________________________

forgive: pardon; excuse for a fault or offense; renounce anger or resentment against; absolve from payment for a debt

Just in case, you are still on the fence about forgiving someone, consider what Jesus had to say:
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6.14-15
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3.13

Still not convinced you should forgive? You might wish to look at this LA Times article called "Forgive and Be Well". . . I've had it in my files
since 2007; it cites research that forgiveness "can improve cardiovascular function, diminish chronic pain, relieve depression and boost
quality of life". . . while "failure to forgive may, over a lifetime, boost a person's risk for heart disease, mental illness and other ills. . ."
The research also indicates that forgiveness is a skill that can be learned. Hmmm. . . http://articles.latimes.com/2007/dec/31/health/he-forgiveness31
A great article.

I asked my caller a few questions--'why is it difficult to forgive him?' because what he did was unjust, and I feel a need for justice;
it feels like if I forgive him, I am denying justice, and accepting the unforgiveness-'
'why do you want to forgive him then?' for the healing process--to get rid of the bad feelings, anger, frustration, which decrease
my energy level, and damage my spirit, and. . . well, hurt me spiritually as well, and because I am not following my teachings--
forgiveness is divine. It is what our Lord teaches us. . .
Forgiving a person causes them to inspect their own behavior.
I consider it a failure when I don't forgive; a success, when I do.
If Jesus could forgive the people who did what they did to them, and then died on the Cross for my sins, how can I not forgive? Do you get
the feeling he may have thought about this a little before I asked the questions? He had ready answers, just needed some prodding.

So you realize you need to forgive someone, but how do you do it? Are there any steps to be taken? I think there are--
1. Recognize that you need to forgive the person who injured you (whether or not they know it--whether or not he seeks forgiveness)
2. Commit to forgiveness. Come on, make a commitment to forgive him. Don't just decide... commit.
3. Ask God to help you forgive, to release the bitter or hurt feeling you have, and give it to Him.
4. Pray for the person, for his well-being.

One of my favorite teachers is Dr. James MacDonald, and he talked about one tool he has used to forgive people who have hurt him:
I wrote down the names of six particular people. I remember very clearly getting on my knees and envisioning a little leather pouch and, after writing out the people’s names on little pieces of paper, I put them in the bag and tightened it up. I wrote the word Forgiveness on the outside. In my mind’s eye, I knelt down and laid that bag at the cross, saying, “God, in view of all that You’ve forgiven me, I’m letting this go. I’m leaving it behind. I’m releasing them from the obligation that resulted when they injured me.” It was a life-changing decision.

Dear Lord, We know the disciples must have spent some time processing how to forgive Judas, and move forward.
Help us to have the courage to forgive. . . as You forgave us. Teach us to be grace-givers. Amen.
Christine (DiGiacomo) espressocd@cox.net, and you can now discuss this on Facebook with others
by joining Morning Briefings group. Cool. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=73775082780&ref=ts

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Comment by Christine on April 29, 2009 at 9:32pm
Yes, my dear. I believe you can (and are commanded to) forgive, but also grow wise, in placing a little boundary there as well. As Christ-followers, we are commanded to 'be at peace so much as it is within us', I'm sure you know that, so forgiveness is a non-negotiable, continuing in close relationship (unless of course it is immediate family--spouse, child, e.g.) is negotiable. I'm sorry for the pain that you have incurred, Linda.
Comment by Linda Lopez on April 29, 2009 at 7:10pm
Hi, Christine.

My name is Linda Lopez and I recently joined All About God and I really am so glad that I have joined. I'm learning so much! I loved all that you wrote above and I know that I need to still forgive people who have hurt me deeply. I just need another Christian perspective. One of the people that has hurt me deeply still wants to be friends with me. I have found that if someone continues to hurt me I really want to get away from that person. Can I still forgive someone but, decide to separate myself from them? I've just had some past work relationships that were exceptionally hurtful. I don't know, I've tried to remain friends and I am always friendly but, I find myself feeling very vulnerable to the hurt again. Can I forgive but, also guard my heart from future hurts by separating myself from those that have hurt me? Thanks in advance!

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