New year... old ways?

As this new year draws closer and closer im reminded of where I was at this time last year. Pulling all nighters at house parties with people I thought were my friends to now looking for a church that might be having midnight mass. I think of the relationship so to speak of this last year and how much it's taught me and shown me within myself. How my standards have and continue to change not just for the people around me but for myself. How important my goals are to me and how urgent they really are. To be baptised by my birthday in June and to start my non-profit. With so many things in life that need to be done my brain is almost always in a frenzie of whats next yet feeling 20 steps behind. This is the year percrastination has to come to its end. I work out on a regular basis and am finally taking more time for me. This past year has been nothing but stress and drama. Working to get a promotion at work and then really getting back into school I cant wait for 2011! Now the pesimistic side that seems to always be in the back of my mind. Do you ever feel like things are too good? Like something has to go wrong because everything feels so right? Now I know and believe when you act right and live by the rules the lord has set up blessings come your way but at times it still blows my mind that even being saved everything iv'e done wrong and continue to do wrong dispite my efforts he continues to bless me. Every day! I know I dont have a man or very many friends my own car or even a dog. But I have jesus! I have been blessed with and amazingly understanding family that continues to be there for me even at times when I wasn't there for myself. I ask myself sometimes how am i worthey? How can the lord love me so much to make all this possible? No man will ever love you just because no woman will ever love you just because but the lord dose... Even when we dont love ourselves. So in this new year what better way can I say thank you to jesus for saving my from myself then to give back a portion of what he has blessed me with... Changes coming soon, stay tuned...