Mysteries of His Heart

"God doesn't just share the mysteries of His heart with just anyone.....
He shares them with those whom He's found trustworthy..."


When I was 15 years old, I sat on my bedroom floor with a loaded gun in my mouth and slowly began squeezing the trigger. My cat walked in and gave me the look and I couldn't do it. Not in front of him. So I decided that I had to stop praying each night for God to just let me die and I needed to do something different. So that night I prayed that He show me that life had meaning.

The next morning I woke up and looked around my tiny bedroom and thought I was in a different house. Everything was different. Even the air seemed easier to breathe and I sensed the presence of 2 Angels sitting on each side of me. I had the overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be okay. Even my counselor almost walked right past me the next day because she said my face "had completely changed and she almost didn't recognize me."

I went on through the next 18 years living a mostly honorable life but failing again and again. Mostly financially. I used to think that trying to do the right thing my whole life had been in vain because time and time again, I've been knocked down to ground zero. Since seeing Hell itself walk right into my life and take a seat, I now know that the way I've lived my life hasn't been for nothing. I've earned His trust. And I have been shown secrets of His heart that not many will ever get the opportunity to know. Who would've thought that facing down pure evil would be the greatest blessing of my life? Now I KNOW that God is real. And knowing is completely different than believing. What a gift.

Thank you Jesus for showing me that life....my life.....has meaning.

We say today, "the higher we climb, the harder we fall."
For Jesus, it's "The lower we crawl, the higher we fly."