MY TESTAMONY ( I MET JESUS ON MY ROAD TO DAMASCUS )

I was born in to a large family and I was the middle child, and our home was ravaged by Alcohol Abuse! My dad would stand me in the corner and punch me so hard and fast that I could not fall down or he would throw me across the room in to the walls and pick me up and do it again and again. He would beat my mom and she would take it out on us and whip us with a cord to an iron, man that thing hurt. I was being sexualy abused by my oldest brother so I guess I started to wet the bed so that he would not want to touch me being so dirty! I endured this till I was 9 years old and by then I knew if I did not leave home I was going to die. I left home at 9 and lived in the street of my home in Alaska for 2 years befor getting caught. I slept in apartment buildings behind the furnace for warmth with the bugs and the rats alone wondering what was wrong with the world. I would wake up in the morning and go to the grocery store and eat as much food as I could and steal what I could to survive. When they caught me they put me in group homes and I fought my way out of every one of them I was so angry. I finished high school living in jail and they would let me out to go to school and then I would have to go back to jail I was 17. The state of Alaska took me to court and said at 17 I was an adult and could not hide behind my juvenile status any longer. I got into black magic and witch craft not because I believed in it but to manipulate people with their fear. But to be safe not knowing any thing about God I got down on my knees at home alone and lifted my hands up and said God if you are real you had better show me now. I started to weep like a little baby and I jumped up and cursed myself for being weak and went into the black magic and witch craft. It was a game to me until I started to hear voices telling me I was to kill people and I thought that was stupid I did not know them and they had done nothing to me. But later I would be standing next to them with a knife fighting my self, they would be passed out and have no idea their life was hanging in the balance. At this point I know it is not a game and it will only be a matter of time befor I break and some one dies. So I decided that the person that had to die by my hand was going to be me! I was busy making my plans and not giving any one a clue that any thing was wrong. But I was having trouble trying to decide which way was the best and would be the least painful and would be sure, as I did not want to mess this one up. While I was trying to decide on the best way a friend I knew walked up and said hey you want to go to a free concert? I said yea why not there I could continue to try to figure this out. I asked ok were is it at? He said it is up the street here at this church, I stepped back I could not believe this was coming out of his mouth. Befor I could say no he said and there are some real pretty girls there! At this poing I began to think if there is life after death I have nothing beautiful to look back on, I have only darkness uglyness and pain. So I decided I would go and memorise their faces as some thing beautiful in this life to look back on. As I walked in to the church I stopped and saw the kids waiting on stage for the concert to start, and all the people talking and then the voices went off in my head screaming for me to get out get out some thing is going to happen! I looked at the door but my feet would not move towards the door. I saw a seat open so I decided to go sit down befor some one realised some thing was going on. For some unknown reason I could walk to the open seat. When the preacher spoke I could not hear what he was saying because the voice was now screaming nothing is going to happen, nothing is going to happen. The youth group started to sing but I could not hear the words. But I saw a yellow golden light surrounding them and I was not looking on the pretty faces, I was looking at all their faces and I was seeing things like Love, Joy, Peace, Goodness, Meekness, faithfulness, temperance, I did not know it at the time but I was seeing the fruits of the spirit. All I could say in my heart was why can't I have that. Little did I know that was a prayer it came from my heart. Well they got done with the singing and the preacher was saying some thing and I could not hear it because of the voice in my head, but I did notice every one was bowing their heads and I knew this meant it was over. One thing I new for sure was I had to be out of there befor they were done praying because I did not want to talk to any of them. I had some thing I needed to do and I did not need any one getting in my way. I did not know what an alter call was and it did not seem to matter any way because I could not hear it being given. I made my way to the isle and when I did instead of turning towards the door I turned to the front, when I did, I did not know I was even in a church all I knew was I was walking through thick darkness and I was walking forward. After a few moments I felt like I should stop if I had not listened I would have fell on my face tripping on the steps leading to the stage. Then I felt like I should get on my knees and I did. At this point I am aware of many people behind me laying hands on me and I felt great heat pour from my body, sweat started to come from every pore on my body and it drenched my hair and cloths and left a big wet spot on the carpet in front of me. When it was done I felt like an empty egg shell and the voices were gone and I no longer felt I had to destroy myself. I knew at this point that I had been possesed by demons and that God was real and had done a very mighty thing that day. Here there were people being save on my left and on my right and I am being delivered from demons and none of them are being disturbed at all, that is the power of God. There is no big struggle he just says go and they must obey! I learned later that when I walked in to the church that the youth choir on stage all saw me come in and in that moment they all saw the same thing. They saw the crowd turn in to a white screen and I was a black dot moving across the screen and when I stopped they all knew to start praying for me at that moment. That is why I could not run out. I have walked out from under Gods covering many times and each time my body has been broken or I have nearly died I have many scars to this day. I got mad at God and let a root of bitterness creep in and it choked the life out of me because I did not see why God did not bring me a help mate so I could finaly have a family which I never have had. Now I am coming back to God but this time I am in the end stages of COPD and they are telling me even a common cold can kill me at this point. I almost died on July 18th of 2008. I have an enemy that wants to kill me so bad because I was snatched from his hand and I know him and how he works. Weather I live or die at this point I know in whom I have believed and I know he is able to complete that good work that he has begun in me unto the end!