My Last Blog for awhile. TRUE STORY ABOUT MY LIFE flow from the heart UNEDITED Friday, March 5, 2010 at 3:08pm

From the day I was born I was told that I was a very happy baby and I cried a lot.
I was a brat, but I did laugh a lot and I enjoyed toys. I was a very
talkative child and I asked a lot of questions. I was an annoying child
and I was very blunt one time I asked my sister why her friends were
all fat? I didnt mean to hurt their feeling I was only 5, I was curious
:) They all just laughed at me. I always liked being with my siblings
and I liked the attention. The moment I realized I was a bother to one
of my family members I walked away because i didnt want to make them
mad. I just wanted to make people happy.

When I was little I was very playful, I loved flowers and I was very
adventurous. I taught myself how to ride a bike and I fell many times,
but I never gave up. I saw all my friends riding a bike and I wanted to
join them so eventually I learned how, thanks to the gate that was
outside of my yard, I was able to push myself along as I peddled. My
siblings and tried to help me but they were either too busy with the
demands of work or other responsibilities that adults have to handle in
this world. Plus I was stubborn I liked to do thing on my own.

When I started kindergarten at the age of 4 I was scared at first, but
then right after my dad left me I made a friend and she made me very
happy. I enjoyed school and I still do. As a child I always played
school and I loved babies :) Playing kitchen was always fun. I liked
cooking and I love to cook now :) I thank my daddy for teaching me :)

In Kindergarten there was this girl who always said I hurt her feelings
but I can't remember me saying anything to her that was hurtful. She
always got me in trouble and I always had to apologize and she would
smile afterward. I felt bad inside because I didn't understand why I
had to apologize for something I didn't do. However I still said sorry
just to mend the problem so that she could be happy.

Yes there were times when I was a sad child, but I was not a pushover.
I did not let anyone bring me down as a child. At the age of 5 I told
myself that I will not let anyone push me or bully me and If so I will
do something about it. I fought back I wasn't a tattle tell. I did fear
my teacher and every time I got into trouble I held back the tears. I
always got in trouble for talking too much LOL.

In elementary school I sang to myself all the time, I cant remember the
exact words anymore but it had to do with an eagle and flying high. I
remember a girl asking me what I was singing and I told her I want to
fly away.

I was a very good student in Elementary school and I had a lot of
friends. I loved Hot Cheetos Chips they were so delicious and I loved
playing Chinese Jump rope. Yo-Yos left me in awe and I tried to learn
how to work one, but it just wasn't my talent LOL

In the 4th grade I was a girl scout, however it did not last long
because it was too girly for me no offense I didn't like the skirts and
the whole uniform thing LOL so I decided to run for Elementary student
council (My parents never forced me to do these things I made my own
decisions and I got in a lot of trouble for staying in after school
programs, I couldn't help myself I like learning and interacting with
others) I was in GATE ( Gifted and Talented Education Program for many
years, I see a lot that can change about the program now ...ask me
about it)

In the 5th grade I went to Science camp (honey suckle flowers are yummy
suck on the stem) and this is where I met my current best friend, I am
very grateful to have a friend like her :)

In my last years of elementary I played the flute and many of the girls
didn't like me because I played well. Yes, I played well but they
didn't see all the practice I did at home. I practiced so much to the
point where the whole household would ask me to stop playing.

In elementary I was an active child I always wanted to please my
teachers, I competed in academic competitions I competed in Spelling
Bees and I made it to the second round I still remember the word that I
misspelled "AQUEDUCT" ,Math contests, wrote a book and got 2nd place (
it was a little short book I wrote in the 1st or 2nd grade it was about
a girl and a lost bunny and I used the rainbow to call the bunny back)
I got best handwriting awards, I was awarded Citizen of the Month and
Outstanding Student many times. My grades were awesome. I was a good
kid. But eventually the pressure to stay on top got really hard and
competition increased. In the 6th grade I was warped into being the
best student possible to the point where I cheated on my friends test
to get a better grade. 7 or 8 of my friends told the teacher and I was
confronted by my teacher about my misconduct. I cried and told him the
truth that yes I did cheat, but because I felt so much pressure to do
well and I felt like everyone was trying to bring one another down. I
was a very helpful person, and I worked hard to keep myself on top.
Because I cheated I ruined friendships, but the one who forgave me was
the very friend I cheated off of. I called her and I apologized to her
and I asked for her forgiveness and she did. Today we are still very
good friends, even the friends that revealed my selfish act are my
friends now. From that day in the sixth grade I learned how evil can
come when there is too much focus on winning.

In elementary I loved performing for people :) and I was a very crafty
person thanks to my sister who taught me how to be creative.

In JR HIGH I was given the opportunity to attend the same school with
my friends that I made in Elementary or to branch out and meet other
students. I chose to leave my friends and meet others in a totally
different institution. Of course I still had some friends that chose
the same route as me and we hung out together, but eventually we grew
away from each other because of our differences. Keep in mind I have
very good relations with most of the people I have met in my younger
years. I do my best to keep in touch :)

Basically I was very independent I made my own decisions and I just
told my parents my location. There were times when I did not listen to
my parents and I have apologized for that already, I called my dad
recently and I told him that I was sorry for ever not listening to him
and following his rules. However if I would have followed everything
they told me to do in the past then I would not have been the person I
am today.

I performed a lot in middle school and my parents were absent and they
have never seen me perform ballet, tap, modern, Tahitian, Hula, or
river dance, but I knew they were busy with work and I was thankful for
their support even though they weren't there to watch me. There were
times when I cried because they never came to support me, but I
understood why they couldn't make it to my performances. My parents
were tired from work and they needed rest :) Sometimes my siblings came
to support me and tears would just fall on my face for how grateful I
was to see them. I love my family very much :) I was awarded with a
best dancer marble square plaque :)

In high school I was a very active student I ran for leadership
positions and I coordinated many events. I held presidential positions
in clubs, I also have experience with secretary work and treasury. I
was on Homecoming court I believe I could have won if the voting system
was fair.
I was a cheerleader for 3 years. The first year I cheered was my
sophomore year in high school and I was honored with the position to be
Captain of the Junior Varsity Cheer squad. I was moved up to be in the
Varsity squad and in my Junior and Senior year I was the Varsity
Captain. I was very enthusiastic and I believed in good sportsmanship.
I did not tolerate anyone disrespecting me when I was in the Captain
mode better yet I did not tolerate any disrespect in my face. I was
compassionate, but at the same time I understood my responsibility to
enforce the rules and policies. I cared a lot about people I stood up
for my friends. I was always made fun of in school because of my height
LOL I am 4'11. It didn't bother me. Everyone says I am cute and stuff,
but I say don't let looks deceive you. :)

I enjoy community service work and I like to think outside of the box.
I like challenges and I do not give up unless I give it my ALL. For
love I will never give up.

In school I wasn't always an A+ student but I was very well rounded I
worked to balance everything out. I believe if I had not gotten
involved with many things my grades would have been very very
outstanding. I always worked to impress my parents and I never wanted
to let them down. There were times when I did and i kept it to myself
to fix.

I wanted to shine for my parents I wanted them to be proud of me. I
wanted to make them happy. I wanted other parents to wish that they had
me as their child. I wanted to be the best kid ever.

I still strive to be their bright and loving child. I have grown a lot
I am not blind I see what is wrong with the world and I see the pain
that is in this world. Yes I am in college, but this bubble work of a
four year university is just the baby steps to the real world.

I know that I am only 19 and that I still have a lot of learning to do,
but I am also aware of the future. I see that the educational system is
flawed and I see how work can drive people mad.
I am different I am not like other students my age.

I don't have the same interests as other students my age and I am not
trying to say that I am older than anyone. I still act my age but I am
mature. I am prudent. I am aware of my actions and I know what I want
and I am working to become a High school counselor. I have a plan I
have always had a plan since 8th grade. Now here I am I am 19 years old
and I go to the University of California, San Diego. I could have gone
to any other college, but I decided to come here. I am here for a
reason and I may not know exactly for what reason but I am DIFFERENT do
not underestimate me and do not doubt me. I am young and I am learning,
but I have always been different.

I am a college student and I observe a lot. I love to converse. I do
not disrespect others and I admire my elders, Anyone who is older than
me I admire because they have an extra day of knowledge to share with
some experience. I do not try to be older than my age its just who I
am. I enjoy everyday of my life I take it easy I handle things as they
come to me, I have learned to pray before I take any action. I am
learning. I do not care about what people think of me and I just care
about shining for my father in Heaven. So far so good :)

I enjoy my life and I love helping others and I give, I could care less
about receiving as long as I am given love. I am very very very
grateful and happy to receive gifts tho :) not that I deserve anything.
And I am unworthy of anything I am nothing without my Lord, God.

When I die I will die with a smile on my face and just say "BE HAPPY"
and if my body wont move to show you with my lips or if my words can
not tell you the message know that in my heart that is what I wish. I
just want people to love one another, to challenge one another so that
we can build one another up, I want people to help others. I want
people to lay down their lives to help others. I wish people who have a
surplus amount of money in their bank accounts would share some with
the poor so that they can experience a moment with money in their hands.

I wish people would be selfless and love one another and care for each other.

These are all my wishes we shall see if it all comes true one day :)

I know the reality of things in this world, and its ugly.

As much as I'd like to drop out of college and go serve the Lord I know that it is best for me to get educated and so I am here.

So far within my first two years of college I have been blessed with
awesome friends and I was able to hold a leadership position as a board
member for one of the largest organizations on campus, Kaibigang
Pilipino . I am a member of one of the best Sororities in the nation Go
KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA (Seek the beauty and the true). I did not join the
sorority for social purposes, I joined to be a change not to change
others but to show a good change. I felt like too many people saw the
Greek life as something negative but I will show people wrong that
being Greek can be good. My social life is awesome. I enjoy my Kappa
sisters and they are such beautiful women they are strong and inspiring
leaders. I love my friends in Kaibigang Pilipino though I am not as
active this year I am there for them in spirit and if they ever need me
I am here for them. I share my ideas and anyone can share my ideas with
others so long as the words that I have used do not become harmful. All
the inspiring words that come from my mouth come from my passion for
God. So the ideas are meant to be shared not just for me.

I will share things but its up to you if you want to take action with
them. I am living my life and until I feel the call to do something
then I will but for now my call is to get educated and to continue in
showing my support for others and to share my experience

I will not ignore you, if you want to talk then come to me. And if I seek you I hope that we can talk.

I know my responsibilities and I know what is best for me. You don't
have to help me unless I ask. I am not afraid to ask for help. I will
acknowledge my weaknesses and I am weak but I am strong. I believe that
actions speak louder than words and if you want to know more about me
the ask :)

One day I will take a stand and when I feel the need to stand then I will.
It could be at any moment and I will go. If someone asks for my help
then I will help, but if you force me to do anything I will not, if you
need someone to stand by your side when you are facing the world then i
will be there for you, but you have to speak up for yourself. I believe
in everyone. :) I am just standing with you to bring moral support and
to show others that you are not alone. Whenever you think you are alone
know that in spirit I am with you :)

I am not perfect and I continue to fall but I pick myself right back up
and I dust the dirt off and move on. I do look back, but not at the
trial, not at what troubled me, I look at how I got through the mud and
how with a smile on my face I left with just some dust on my shoulders
that will leave a trail for others to follow.

I love everyone. I don't care what you look like I don't care about
what others think of you. I just love you :) You are beautiful so go
tell yourself that Stacey thinks I am beautiful and be happy :)


Who am I?


I am a supportive sister to five older siblings, a grateful daughter of
hardworking parents, a compassionate aunt to very beautiful children,
and most
importantly I am a person who sees adversity as a great learning experience to
become wiser. I am a good friend. I will challenge you to help you grow into a better person that I know that you can be.


I believe in My Lord God the Father Almighty, The son of God Jesus
Christ, and the Holy Spirit who has inspired me to do all the things
that I have accomplished in my life so far.


This is my secret so here you go, Go and believe find your faith and
grow. I gave my life up to my Father in heaven and he is working
through me to do amazing things. Just look at all the stuff I have gone
through I didn't do anything on my own. God was with me and he will be
with me forever. My actions will show you. I am a good person and I
will not force you to believe in anything. Just be aware of what has
made me this way. And if you too want to be like me then pray and ask
and let God be in control. Its not easy you will go through trials that
will test your faith but you have to focus on God. Others will not like
you because you will make them feel uncomfortable, but you just have to
press on and not give up.


Learn the truth in the bible pray for the knowledge that you need to
understand. It wont happen right away but within God's timing. Be
patient and wait to see what miracles you will bring. Everyone has a
special plan especially made. Each and every person is unique take the
time out to develop a relationship with God. He is in everyone.
Believe, learn the word of God and spread it bring out your bibles, go
to church try to hear the message, and go back home and reflect. Go do
GOOD in the world and love others and thank God for all that he has
given you. I thank God everyday for my life and I live in celebration.
If you see me I will smile and when I am looking serious or sad its
because I have a task to do or its because someone did not love me and
my feelings got hurt. No one who is loving deserves to be hated. So
don't hate me because of what I believe in. Don't ask me to go back to
the same person I was before. I was chained but now I am set free. You
can be free also. If you want to know how then ask me and I will tell
you what I know but you also have to be proactive and learn for
yourself ask questions be critical and help yourself first.


Together we can change the world, we can make it a better place :) but
help yourself first before helping others. I am helping myself by
educating myself about God and learning what I need to know so that
when people come to me to ask questions I have the answer that is the
truth from the word of God. If I do not have an answer I will point you
to someone I know that might be able to :)


I am here to help, I am here to be your friend, I am here to tell the
truth, I am here to show you how to love, I am here to just be me :) so
please don't disrespect me, by all means challenge me I like challenges
and correct me if I am wrong. I am constantly faced with so many
different news/stories that the truth gets twisted. Educate me and know
that I will not give up. :) I will acknowledge a loss and I will still
see it as a win. Change the negative into positive. And you will
change, you can't do it alone if you keep trying to do it on your own
you'll get tired and stressed trust me I have tried to do things on my
own but now I am empowered. I am energized to do good because I am
reborn and baptized with the Holy Spirit. :) So like the saying of a
gift that my brother gave me "In a world where you can be anything be
yourself" I know that that deep down inside you just want someone to
love you and to care for you but if you want that then start Loving
God. Once you start that relationship with God, you have to build it or
the flame will die just like a relationship with a boyfriend or a
girlfriend. If you neglect your significant other the connection drops.
Thankfully with God you can always ignite the fire within :) God is
Glory!

So Go change yourself today. When someone with the truth comes to you
and they challenge the beliefs that you have heard for so long keep and
open mind and open heart and you will change. I believe in you. I love
haters :) I am still alive in person, I am blessed. I am a gift from
God to show you the way, so here you go I cant help but to show God's
Glory. Look at my character. Look at the person that I have become. I
love God so say what you want to say and know that you will not bring
me down. Only God has the power to strike me and that is it. To my last
breath I will fight for love and live forever. This is real love its
unconditional, not pizza love. :)


I can say I love books but really I love what I learn from them and I
love how it allows me to do great things and to speak in new ways. See
when I say I love God, it's because he loves me unconditionally I don't
deserve it but yet the love that I receive makes me do amazing things.
It's not easy. But the reward is grand and its everlasting. Everything
I have said is for you to absorb and you can extract what you want but
this is my personal experience and I didn't even include everything in
my life. I still have a story to tell you about my siblings, I still
have to tell you the stories that I have with each friend in my life
and how they have changed me.I still have stories about my college
experience, I have so much to tell :) Just ask me because I have
learned to trust in Jesus. Think deeper. Examine your life if you think
you know God ask yourself do I reallllllly know God? If you do then why
haven't you been developing your relationship by reading the word of
God. And if you think you are someone who knows the word of God then
start acting in the word of God. The word of God tells the truth and it
will set you free. You see I have always heard the word in church, and
I thought I knew what it meant but really I only knew the stuff that
was taught to me on the surface.I dove in and boy am I deep :) I am
very thankful and I am very glad to be telling a story about my life
heres some word to get you started. Ultimately this is not about me
this is all about God. I am serving as proof and evidence for logical
thinking. Logic is limited Faith can be little, and Love is infinite.


Lastly, here are my priorities,

1. GOD 2. Family 3. Friends 4. Education 5.Me

(I put myself down so that you can rise)

I may be last but God is first so he lifts me up even when I am down.




Matthew 7:1-29

Matthew
Chapter 7

1
1 2 "Stop judging, that you may not be judged.
2
For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.
3
Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?
4
How can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove that splinter from your eye,' while the wooden beam is in your eye?
5
You hypocrite, 3 remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you
will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye.
6
"Do not give what is holy to dogs, 4 or throw your pearls before swine,
lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.
7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
8
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, 5
10
or a snake when he asks for a fish?
11
If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your
children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to
those who ask him.
12
6 "Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets.
13
7 8 "Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road
broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are
many.
14
How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.
15
9 "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves.
16
By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
17
Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit.
18
A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit.
19
Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.
20
So by their fruits you will know them.
21
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of
heaven, 10 but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.
22
Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in
your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do
mighty deeds in your name?'
23
Then I will declare to them solemnly, 'I never knew you. 11 Depart from me, you evildoers.'
24
12 "Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
25
The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the
house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
26
And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand.
27
The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined."
28
13 When Jesus finished these words, the crowds were astonished at his teaching,
29
14 for he taught them as one having authority, and not as their scribes.


I respect yall so I hope yall can respect my belief. I will not shove
it down your throat but know that if you approach me I will defend
myself. I am serious. And everything I say is not to demean anything
this is my opinion so take what you like. Judge what you want but judge
righteously just try not to judge at all let GOD do the Judging you just be you and be loving and kind please.